Mumsnet Talk

DS is 2.4, and at least once a day he says, totally out of the blue "Please don't hit me mummy". Or even more frequently "Don't shout at me Mummy". I have never hit him, and apart from one very bad day about 3 weeks ago I am not a shouter. I'm getting really worried in case he comes out with this at nursery, or at pre-school which he starts in a few weeks. Where on earth is it coming from??? How can I stop it? So far I just ignore the hitting one, and the shouting one I say "no I won't shout at you" because if you ignore that one he keeps saying it over and over and over until you acknowledge it. He's done it occasionally with DH but nothing like as frequently.

My DSS used to do this, luckily to all of us as I had only just come on the scene then!

he used to fall over then look at one of us and go 'you hurt me'

we used to say 'we don't hit or hurt each other in this house' very low key and he stopped saying it

horrible though as he genuinely made himself believe we had hurt him!

I wouldn't worry about school etc unless he does it and then discuss with teacher

Thank you. He sort of does that as well - if he falls over near me he seems to believe I have hurt him as he'll refuse to come anywhere near me and go to DH. It always really upsets me that he does that and that I can't comfort my own child, and worse he seems to think I am the cause of him hurting. How long did it take to pass?

Ds once shouted very loudly in a crowded shop (aged about 3) "Mummy, don't break my other arm". I do not hit and I have certainly never broken a limb! Silence descended across the shop!

I think it is just something that they do (or at least I hope so!).

PMSL

You could always hit him. That'll surprise him!

Seriously though I used to do that to my mum when I was little if she wouldn't let me help myself to chocolate in the supermarket. She just ignored me.

OK, I need to see the funny side in this right? It really upsets me (not that I show DS), but I need to just let it go.

oh goosey, how embarrassing.

my children also love to come out with similar lines. I dont know, have they picked them up from watching Oliver Twist, or something like that? They simply love to be a row of little martyrs.

well, its not very funny when its happening to you though!
I am scared of SS getting involved, because I am a lone p with 100% responsibility.

My DD went through this a few months ago (is now 2.7), would say similar things such as "Gran hitted me", "you hurt me" etc etc. We just ignored it, but it is awkward and I dreaded her saying it in front of nursery staff etc!

oh yes, ds did 'i am scared of you' and has moved on to 'stop hurting me' usually in the middle of waitrose or similar shaming public arena. i just laugh it off but i can see 'don't hit me' is a bit of a facer.

I think they know that it has a huge effect on their parents, however much one tries to conceal it. so obviously, it has to be said again...

So do you think the right thing is to ignore? or to say "Mummy doesn't hit you" or something similar?

Glad to know I'm not the only one though!

When DS1 was coming out of school when he was 4 we were joking about him being cheeky and isaid something along the lines of 'watch your step or I will lock you in the shed' (in the style of evil witch mwah hahaha)

He looked at me like a child from the NSPCC adverts and wailed
"But its so dark and cold in the shed...."

I never joked with him again in public until he was about 12.

I dont know weegle - my children are older, so I talk to them. But at the age of your son, you could be setting up a dialogue that he would want to repeat many times, where he says the first line, and you respond with your reassuring line that mummy doesnt hit him... maybe it is better to ignore? Not sure what I would do.

DD2 (age 2) hasn't been eating as she's not been very well. In desperation while trying to coax her to eat I explained that food is very important for growing, having lovely healthy skin and hair, growing a big clever brain, making your nails nice and strong...She interrupted me to ask if her nails would fall off if she didn't eat, and i said 'well, they might get a bit brittle and they'd break more easily'

After dinner she ran to dp saying 'hooray, I ate my dinner and now mummy won't snap off all my fingernails!'

They are very good at making you look like a monster.

oh god the dangers of talking too much

rofl at boco

I don't know what the right solution is. I did eventually explain (after the shop and arm incident where I imagined people reaching for their phones) that people want to protect children from being hurt and because people take it so seriously, he should never pretend that he had been hurt when he had not been.

NighbyNight - that's my concern, that'll it'll get worse. Ok I shall continue to ignore and think of all your tales to make me feel better!

I've sometimes had dd (now 3) say loudly 'don't hurt me mummy'. Totally embarrassing - I've never hit her. No idea where it came from. Sometimes we have 'don't get me mummy'

I just hope I never see the same shoppers again....

Am quite relieved to read this thread.

Have never hit ds (2.2). On the way to a big family lunch at the w/end ds hit and tried to kick me as I was putting him in his car seat - I patiently strapped him in, told him it's not nice to hit people and he said sorry. When we got to the restaurant and were being shown to our table he went up to a complete stranger at the table next to us, tugged his sleeve, the guy bent down (I thought ds was going to say hello as he often does to random people). Then ds said right into his face very cheerfully, 'Mummy hit me.'

OMG we get this all the time too.
DS accused DH of hitting him yesterday at a play centre.
Poor DH was quite confused as he's never hit him (nor have I).
DS is 3.4 and I can only put it down to having an overactive imagination.
Very embarrassing though.

my ds says 'you hurt me on purpose mummy'
if he falls or something it is embarrasing in public!!

Ohh, am soo glad I saw this! DS1 is 3 and for the last few months if you asked what happened to him ie when he has a new scratch from falling at creche, it was always Daddy did it, or Mummy hit me... even if it clearly wasnt, or if you watched him fall running in the park, it was alway Mummy scratched me.... Very annoying. And embarressing, he told Granny yesterday that I pushed him over. I had to come on teh phone and explain myself to MIL....

Dd went through a phase of asking "What are you doing to my bottom?" when wiping her after going to the loo.

Went down a storm at the really busy loos at London zoo.....