I don't like my son any more!

[mckenzie]

I'm 39 weeks pregnant. Why has my 3 and a half year old suddenly taken this week to

1. wake up an hour earlier than normal?
   
2. decide to forget that please and thank you ever existed?
   
3. be suddenly bossy and disobedient?
   
4. be very whingy and wimpish about the slightest thing?
   
5. refuse to do anything that I ask him to do?

[MarsLady]

testosterone!

[LGJ]

Because he is 3.5 that is what they do. {grin]

Seriously has there been increased talk re the baba, may be feeling a little insecure.

[mckenzie]

He brings up the subject of the baby sometimes, i dont. He'll ask if he and his new baby can go on a train ride for example, I've tried to keep it very low key. Tonight he did actually ask if he could not have a bath and just go straight to bed so maybe he's going down with something and this is all the build up. I rather hope so in a way.

[NotQuiteCockney]

My DS1 was like this when I was coming up to having DS2. I think I was being cranky with him, without even realising it, because I was stressed about how the birth was going to go, and how was I going to cope with two kids?

Our relationship improved immensely once I had DS2.

[WideWebWitch]

Because he's 3 and because he's anxious about the baby I think mckenzie. You do like him, you just don't like his behaviour but it sounds normal for the age and circs to me. I think he needs some hugs maybe?

[serenequeen]

god mine is the same at moment. he's also 3.5. we have a 6m old and i'm putting at least some of his behaviour down to jealousy. it's driving us potty. he's much more "terrible" now than when he was 2.

[motherinferior]

Nobody tells you about three year olds - they're much much worse than two year olds.

[jamiesam]

McKenzie, agree that there is a great element of 'he's just three'. My ds1 is 3 and a half, ds2 is 1 and a half. I have to say they get on amazingly well. Ds1 behaviour much worse now than a year ago. Find myself from time to time getting incredibly SHOUTY with him and it makes us both feel awful. However, I do often find that if I'm on top of him every minute of the day, behaviour wise, or if he's had a few punishments (2 minutes on his own, no pudding, that sort of thing) it does seem to improve his behaviour for a little while.

Have to confess, I find it very relieving to find that other people have similar problems with their 3 year olds.

Am thinking about use of star chart in vein attempt to limit my recourse to shouting.

Good luck - and with number 2!

[serenequeen]

oh yes the shouting

today it was

JUST DO WHAT I SAY!!!

[mckenzie]

thanks for your replies everyone. He had an early night last night and seems to be a bit more his old self today although still demanding things that previously he would have asked for politely.
I'm feeling better today (had an early night myself) and so we're good friends again. Just had a great picnic in the garden to make the most of the nice weather and he's told me I can have 5 minutes on Mumsnet before he wants to go on CBeebies!

[morningpaper]

My friend's toddler went loopy in the couple of weeks before she gave birth. I think with the hormones and everything you give off 'things are changing' vibes without realising it. When the baby was born, everything clicked into place.

Good luck! xxx

[serenequeen]

ds has been an absolute angel all day - feel a bit guilty for moaning about him here now!

[paolosgirl]

Because he's 3 AND male - poor thing . My DS has always been challenging, but it did get particularly bad when dd was born, even though we kept it all very low key.
Apparently there is a testosterone surge at about 4, so you could always blame it on the hormones!