Logos, TV characters, marketing, etc.

[Kmg]

Children these days seem obsessed with having the latest craze, and mostly it's trash, and I feel strongly that I don't want to get into this with my boys. So far my eldest hasn't been that bothered, but my youngest who is not yet two seems completely hung-up. He is very conscious of the clothes he wears, and what images are on them, the toys he plays with, the jigsaws he does, etc.

Neither of them watch a great deal of TV or video - between 0.5 and 1 hr per day. The only explanation I can think of is that the youngest was exposed to these things much earlier. The eldest didn't watch any TV at all until he was 1, whereas the youngest's first "phrase" was "Yes we can!"

Does anyone else have any experience of this, or suggestions to make? I am becoming rather concerned about it, as I don't want them to be very materialistic. I am even considering throwing out any 'branded' clothes and toys, if that would help.

[Emmam]

I think it depends on how much you indulge or encourage it. It is quite harmless to have a particular liking for different characters and something else soon comes along or they grow out of it. Does it really matter if your child is Bob the Builder obsessed? If you are worried about Bob taking over your life then restrict how much you let him into your home - have a quiet word with relatives that you think he's got too much Bob stuff and could they get him something different maybe.

I don't think a toddler can be materialistic - he probably just thinks that Bob is the best thing since sliced bread and wants to include him in everything he does currently. It'll pass.

One thing I have learnt from my own experience is that its important for kids to fit in with their peers. They don't want to dress differently or have different toys. How would you feel if you were the only one in the playground who didn't have a Pokemon card? I had a miserable childhood because my mum wouldn't let me follow different crazes, all I wanted was to be like my friends. I don't know if its made me a better person as an adult, but I look at my nephew who is 11 and I can see he is beginning to suffer some of the same things I did when I was that age and I feel very sad for him.

[Marina]

I'm with Emmam on this one up to a point - I can remember feeling so sad because all the other little girls at school had Barbies and my parents refused on the grounds that they felt she was grotesque!
But I also feel that there is a difference and a line to be drawn between accepting your child will want Pokemons etc and actively fostering crazes. Maybe you could allocate pocket money/an allowance so that they can spend it on branded nonsense if that's what they want, but reserve the right to buy what you think of as more classic stuff yourself.
I really hate branded stuff myself and that extends to clothing, especially lining the Walt Disney Foundation's pockets every time I buy a Winnie the Pooh T shirt from M & S. But I don't think I'll be too hard on my son...like Emmam I remember it was no fun being too different from others. I loved my books but they were no match for Touch'n'pose Barbie.

[Emmy]

Yes, I never had quite the right clothes at school and it does matter. I don't dress my children in all the latest labels but I make sure they don't look like geeks, like I did! think Marina is right- if they want to buy this stuff let them save for it from an allowance, it will help them learn the value of things as well. But you can't really stop them from wanting to be in on the latest craze.

[Marina]

Emmy, geek is the word. Were you the only Start-rite wearer in a classroom full of wedgie owners as well?

[Sml]

I was! and also the ONLY person who had brown bread sandwiches on school trips.

[Snowy]

So where are all the wedgies wearers then? I was in my sensible shoes too. I'm still bitter about not being allowed to watch Hong Kong Phooey, however my little boy dosen't think the telly in our house works.

As far as branded clothes goes he likes clothes with pictures on, he isn't interested if it's on the telly or not. So a top with a car on is as good as a top with Thomas on.

When I taught in a school the (generalisation comming) really fashionable kids often came from poorer backgrounds. The parents had a 'just because we're poor our children won't suffer' attitude.

[Emmy]

You know Barbie couldn't stand up if she was real cos of her boobs don't you?!
I think its true that the poorer kids have the real logos, where we live is quite run down in some ways, and most of the kids wear the latest sports stuff. I can't afford it though so how do they?
Yes I was a Clarks wearing speccy geek in home made clothes! And my parents were hippies. In the eighties this was not good! Sorry -my kids wear Next! I just can't watch it happening to them, although my son seems unaware of labels so far.

[Sml]

I must admit, I hate logos, slogans and other advertising gimmicks on clothes, as much as my children love them. I too particularly dislike the Disney fixation at M&S - badly drawn, stereotyped characters, there is little to be said for them. It is sometimes quite hard when we are going to church, to kit all the children out in logo free clothes! but I draw the line at taking 3 little walking adverts for consumerist trash into the service!

[Tigermoth]

Sml, Absolutely agree with you on the logo-on-clothes front. Years ago I made a firm decision to kit my sons out in logo-free clothes for the very same reasons. I refuse to pay double-the usual for a badly-drawn Disney character or a sports brand.

He doesn't go around dressed like a geek but, when I take my nearly 7-year-old son shopping, I avoid the sports shops like crazy. I talk about to him about the monetary value of things, so I'll say: "You see that logo T shirt costs £20.00? For that you could buy an ordinary T shirt, a proper football and two cornettos!!" So far I'm winning.

As for branded toys, my oldest son has never been really into toys full stop. He prefers people, so I guess I havn't had to cope with major obsessions with Action Man etc.

I tend to compromise: give him enough of the latest craze to put him on some common footing with his friends, ie: one or two action men, but not a dozen examples of Action Man's kit. Fitting in with his friends is far, far more important to him than having the toys to play with alone. Indeed his first instinct will be to show his friends what he's got. Enough said.

I don't not want me, him or anyone else to mistake his want for a real need. I am always amazed when I encounter parents who take their children's toy crazes seriously:

For instance, I let my son have Pokemon cards- a moderate amount,anyway. (A good reading tool - all those names are quite phonetic and you have to be able to read the card to play the game. And a good way of meeting other children when you're new to a neighbourhood.) Anyway he carries them around in his pockets, mostly, so they're always at hand. When we were queing for the cinema recently, he approached two children who were talking about pokemon cards. He offered to show them his and reached into his pocket. The father immediately swept across and said ( on his children's behalf, I guess) that they wouldn't consider swapping any because they keep all their cards in pristine condition in plastic folders and my son's cards were going to to be bent.
Honestly! Talk about taking thing too seriously!!Why not let the children make their own minds up,as long as no bullying to swap cards is involved.

Personally I'd rather treat my sons by taking them to interesting places and giving them a good time. Later on, what are they going to remember the most about their childhood? that hilarious day out to Brighton Pavillion or the Action Man snowmobile that broke after 2 weeks worth of play?

[Emmy]

Agree, Tigermoth, we've had some fantastic days out that we couldn't have had if I insisted on my children being kitted out in Reebok and Adidas! This is definitely an area of compromise for most of us isn't it? I had one mum at preschool tell me proudly that her 3 year old would only wear brand name sportswear! Bit sad really, my eldest is happy if his clothes are comfy and easy to put on!