11 week old wants to be held all the time and won't sleep!

[Gangle]

DS is 11 weeks, 12 weeks on Friday, and is generally quite a happpy baby, however, in the last few days has become really really tetchy around 5pm onwards and refuses to go to sleep unless one of us is holding him and always wakes up if we try to put him down. This is making it impossible to get any sleep or to eat, go to the loo etc. Really hoping this is just a phase and that he will start settling by himself. He has never been great at going to bed and I have always let him fall asleep on the breast and then put him in the moses basket but now this isn't even working and he will start screaming as soon as you put him down, even if in the same bed as us. I've had about 2 hours sleep the last two nights and expect tonight will be the same. DS also looks exhausted - he looks like he wants to go to sleep but can't for some reason. He's also not sleeping through the night yet and wakes usually at 2 and 5am and then also won't settle but that's a separate problem. I've tried a dummy which worked for a few days but now he refuses it. Can anybody help?

[SmugColditz]

Does he want more milk? Can you try to persuade him into a nap at about 3.30/4 pm? Try taking him for a walk in the pram when he would usually be screaming

Don't even think of denying sleep to gain sleep, it doesn't work at this age.

[wrinklytum]

Mine were both like this.Maybe a growth spurt??He is still little to be sleeping throuhg.It WILL get better you are doing nothing wrong.It is very tiring.Keep at it IT WILL PASS.gOOD LUCK

[ilovemydog]

Here's what I did and seemed to help:

1. feed frequently during the day.

1. Carry around in a sling. They loves the closeness and develop the ability to sleep. I don't know why, but both DD and DS were able to sleep in sling when nothing else worked and the more they slept, the more they were able to sleep. At least with a sling, you will be able to use hands!

1. Try rocking him in Moses basket. It may help; it may not. But do you immediately leave the room? Reason I ask is that DS is happy to go into Moses basket as long as I stay in room.

But, babies like to be held. It's natural for them to want to be close.

[AtheneNoctua]

If it makes you feel better, my DS wouldn't be put down from the day he was born. But he's sooooooo cute I forgive him.

Can you express some milk and put DH on feeding duty for one of the feeds tonight... or are you exclusively breast feeding?

[Gangle]

Ok, he already feeds loads during the day - is on the 75th centile for weight so he is definitely gettting enough to eat. I carry him around in the sling as much as I can but, at 13.5 lbs, he's no longer small and my back is getting extremely painful. I took him for an hour walk in the sling this evening to get him to sleep and he has been screaming since 8pm when I got back. Tried rocking as well. He used to sleep in pram but that doesn't work either. Does anyone have any other suggestions? Thinking of taking him to dr tomorrow to check nothing is wrong.

[Gangle]

Exclusively breastfeeding - keep meaning to try expressing but no time as DS wants to be held ALL the time! Due to his job, DH is also unable.

[avenanap]

They go through a growth spurt at 11-12 weeks (although some mnetters don't believe in this), they can be a pain in the as* and won't leave your side as this is where the food is. You can either put him down and ignore him or carry him around with you. it's your baby and your choice. I carried mine around, he's 9 now and we are very close. But that's me. Do what's best for you.

[Gangle]

Avenap, what do you do at night? He just won't sleep. I carry him as much as I can but I can't physically hold him 24 hours a day which is what he wants.

[avenanap]

I used to put him in my bed with me. He really did want holding all the time. He did grow out of it though. You can sit down with him and put your arms around him or lie down on the floor with him. He wants you next to him, it makes him feel secure and happy. It's a nightmare trying to cook tea though. I remember trying to have a bath and he was crying. It can feel somthering. Is there someone who can come and hold him whilst you have a rest?

[AtheneNoctua]

Oh, you might try getting a swing.

[BEAUTlFUL]

Do breastfed babies get colic? This sounds very like colic - the age, the time of day. Does he go rigid and hold his legs out straight?

Gripe Water is miraculous for colic/windy pains and will sort him out within minutes.

[AtheneNoctua]

www.toysrus.co.uk/Product.aspx/BruHome/BruActiveBaby/BruActiveBabySwings/724084?ref=Search

[blueshoes]

Gangle, sympathies.

My dd's sleep took a dive around 4-5 months. I think it is because her sleep has always been crap but she was still in the sleepy baby fug. Once she shook that off, it was no holds barred.

Yes, around this time, I would nurse dd to sleep and she would wake the minute I try to put her down. My solution was to move her to a bed (have bed guards, pillows on the floor etc if you are concerned about her falling off). I would nurse her off the sleep lying down and then try to sneak off. This way there is no lowering of the body which wakes them up. In my dd's case, she would not let me sneak off. So I co-slept with her. But at least she did not wake, not at least for another hour.

As for not sleeping in a pram, I found that by this time, because she is so much more alert, she will not fall asleep in a buggy unless it was actually her nap time. Any other time, she would not be able to, get bored in the buggy and start to fuss. So I would time walks around naptimes.

My dd would wake when the buggy stopped moving. So I did a lot of walking in those days.

Do you think he could be teething? A bit early but not unheard of. He could be uncomfortable even if there are no obvious gum signs. Pre-teething, where the teeth are moving under the gums. One sign is when he nurses, his latch changes either fluttery or bitey. Calpol, calgel, teething powders.

[Gangle]

Isn't colic supposed to stop around 3 months? I used to use Infacol which seemed to really work but didn't think this was colic.

[blueshoes]

That mechanical baby swing worked for dd for a few weeks around the 5 month mark. She even used to nap in them. It was bliss while it lasted.

As for carrying around all the time, I divided tasks I had to do around the house into one-armed tasks, two-arm tasks (naptimes) or forget-it-wait-until-dh-gets-home tasks.

[Sawyer64]

Have you tried Swaddling him?

Put something that you have been wearing within "smelling range",or if you are BF, put some breastmilk on a Muslin/cloth.

[babaduck]

I have a 13 week breastfed dd who has been doing exactly the same. Same circumstances, breastfed, sleeps on breast etc. DH and I are exhausted and cranky. Not to mention rows. Also have 2.5 year old dd waking up with a cold. On the up-side, both are now in bed and asleep for the first time in ages. What did i do for those weeks? Gave in to it, did whatever it took-constant feeds, carried, danced with the sling on, did no housework etc- and had a moan to friends and had faith it would end. So have faith. See what the doc says. Fingers crossed for tonight.

[Gangle]

mmm, as I thought, there isn't really a solution! Feels tough as zero support or understanding from DH (still get comments like, "what have you done all day?" and an expectation that dinner will be on the table!) May try swing. He won't be swaddled.

[Sawyer64]

Not even with arms free? Sometimes makes them feel more secure.But you probably know best,some babies do seem to hate it.

[ilovemydog]

Have you tried winding him mid feed? DS seems to have a sensitive tummy, and will fall asleep on the breast which means he has to be woken up to be winded. My solution was to wind him after about 10 minutes which seems to help.

The other thing you could try is to massage his tummy if you think it could be colic/wind. Gently massage his tummy using circular motions (clockwise).

[Darrell]

Growth spurt? My DS2 had this. It was annoying as anything but did stop, I promise. I never did work out what had caused it. Hmm, helpful!