I know this has been done to death in the past... BUT... toddlers and periods.

[LilRedWG]

DD is just two and often follows me to the toilet, which I have no problem with. A few days ago she got hold of a box of tampons and was pretending to put one in though her nappy. I just said, "Can you put that back in the box please, it's Mummy's" and didn't cause a fuss.

When I mentioned it to my SIL (who was on holiday with us) she was a little shocked and said that DD shouldn't really see me changing tampons now that she is two.

So - am I a freak for allowing my 25 month old to see all or not? Answers on a postcard please.

[notnowbernard]

We have no lock on the bathroom door

dd2 now able to open the door

I have no choice regarding privacy and my daily ablutions

even the cat comes in when I am having a poo... and dp doesn't care either

[edam]

No, of course you aren't, I'd say SIL is uptight. Does she think it will scar her precious niece for life or something?

Each to her own, if she wants a bit more privacy that's fine, but she shouldn't inflict her hang-ups on anyone else.

Mind you, you may want to be careful - my little sister once pulled out my step-mother's tampon (obviously couldn't resist pulling the string0!

[llareggub]

Does your SIL have one of those little flowery tampon holders for her handbag in case someone sees them? I bet she does. I bet she also uses a twee name like monthlies or Aunty Flo instead of period.

[bythepowerofgreyskull]

I don't use tampons,but DS's see me change my sanitary towel. DS1 thinks I poo my pants alot he is 4 and I haven't yet worked out what to say.. so will watch this thread with interest

[Sanctuary]

LOL @ SIL

I don`t get privacy kids are always running in and out.

[LilRedWG]

That's what suprised me so much. SIL is really down to earth and a period is a period, which is why I was suprised at her reaction. SIL has a four year old DD and said she stopped letting her see change tampons etc. when she was about two as she'd ask too many questions.

I guess I just wanted reassuring that it's okay for DD to see me and to ask questions when she's a little older. I was brought up in a house where I STILL wouldn't feel comfortable discussing tampons (I was kept out of sex ed in school too), so I don't want DD to think anything is too embarassing to ask.

[LilRedWG]

Oooop - meant to say thanks for replying.

[twelveyeargap]

My parents tell me that I was once found in the bathroom trying to insert a tampon, aged about 3. Could a little girl hurt herself this way? I don't know.

It doesn't really bother me for my kids to see me on the loo - whatever I happen to be doing.

[pofaced]

Of course it's ok/ each to their own etc BUT there are issues around children and periods, especially their association of blood with pain so you need to explain, at an age appropriate level, what a period is so they don't think you have hurt yourself/ you poo in your pants/ that women wear nappies/ that babies can use tampons instead of nappies.. Miriam Stoppard's Questions Children Ask has age appropriate answers to lots of questions

[LilRedWG]

Good point pofaced.

[RosaLuxembunting]

Definitely not a freak. But then I have three DDs and no bathroom privacy at all. I think it is great that they get to know about periods from seeing their mother dealing with them and explaining as they go along. DD1 is 10 now and I am so glad I have been spared having to have 'the talk' because she would find it excruciatingly embarrassing, as I did.
Your SIL is the freak IMO. As you were.

[LilRedWG]

So Rosa, did you just do as I plan to do and just answer questions as they were asked? I am also hoping to avoid the talk if possible.

[bythepowerofgreyskull]

so how do I gently tell DS1 that mummy hasn't done a poo in her pants? and that it is blood but I am not ill or in pain?
I understand it isn't a good thing for him to think I have pooed my pants

[LilRedWG]

BTW - I still haven't had the talk from either of my parents and I'm 34 and the youngest of six!

[pofaced]

I have answered my 3 DDs questions as they were asked but also think you need to check how much has been retained over time, especially as they approach puberty. IME a good time to check what they know is just before they have a talk in school so a) they're not surprised by anything and b) not (too) embarassed by anything. I did it recently with my 10 year old and it was quite funny how we were both a bit akward but kept pushing on and could laugh at how embarassed we were

[pofaced]

Just saw your post bythepower... it goes something like this: women have a special place where a baby can grow inside her tummy called a womb. Each month the womb gets ready for a baby to start growing but if there is no baby, the "readiness" isn't needed so it comes out... because it's inside the woman and because it's essential at the beginning of the baby's life, it is blood but it doesn't mean that Mummy has hurt herself, just that she doesn't need this particular blood at this particular moment...

anyway that's the outline idea.. and you can do contraception while you're at it/...

[peasholme]

I have found that my dd doesn't need much of an explanation...I think that too much information would confuse her (she almost 4) She knows that sometimes Mummy needs stickers in her knickers, and helps me get them and stick them. Comes into the bathroom, ask "stickers in your knickers, mum?" and I say "not today, thank you". And that has kept her quite happy for about 2 years!

[bythepowerofgreyskull]

he is only 4! I hope I don't need to talk about contraception yet??!?

[pofaced]

you need to start developing a sense of responsibility in young men at an early age!! No, all I meant was that it may arise in the context of questions asked about why you don't have a baby every cycle

[RosaLuxembunting]

I found that DD2 asked lots more questions than the other two for some reason - but of course they then got the benefit of hearing the answers (although DD1 tends to get grossed out and put her hands over her ears). For instance about the blood, I explained that it is a special kind of blood that is there to make a soft lining if you start to grow a baby, but that every month your body clears out the old lining if it is not needed and starts to make a new one. Even at three, DD2 had no problem understanding that. I do use words like uterus and vagina as I think it is easier to use correct terminology from the beginning.

[RosaLuxembunting]

Pofaced - I made the mistake of dodging the contraception question by saying I was now too old to have a baby. DD2 promptly spotted the flaw in my explanation and asked why, in that case, I was still having periods. Always tell the truth is my motto now.