How to discipline a violent 22 month old please?!

(13 Posts)
bohemianbint Thu 12-Jun-08 09:10:39

DS has been lovely, up until the last few weeks. All of a sudden he's constantly slapping me, kicking me (usually in the bump as well which is really annoying) and throwing his toys around, or at people.

I've been having a few problems in general with his behaviour recently and have been reading the Good Behaviour Book which on the whole is quite good.

Apart from the fact that it says you need to address certain behaviours, rather than ignoring them and putting it down to a phase, otherwise the child won't learn. All well and good, but it doesn't then tell you how, with a child as young as 22 months old.

So I really need some advice on how to deal with this, because it's really pushing my buttons. He kicked me twice deliberately in the bump yesterday morning and am ashamed to say my reflex in that split second was to protect my bump and slap his legs out of the way. I didn't, and I never want to hit my child as I really don't believe in it, but I can see how people are driven to it, and it scares me. So I need to know how to make him stop!

belgo Thu 12-Jun-08 09:26:58

I would tell him off and put him in the corner for a few seconds, just enough to let him know he shouldn't do it.

But, at 22 months, his behaviour will be impulsive, and I very much doubt you will see any miraculous results with whatever form of discipline you use. This is just what many two year olds are like!

Stay consistent with your response to his behaviour, and at some point he will understand what's wrong and what's not wrong, and he will begin to learn to control his behaviour (but this won't happen over night).

And of course plenty of positive attention and praise for good behaviour.

cornsilk Thu 12-Jun-08 09:32:20

Does he need to get out and about a bit more?

nailpolish Thu 12-Jun-08 09:41:13

i dont think he needs discipline at this age

i think he needs help to voice his frustrations. they find it hard to understand and communicate their feelings at this age (you prob already know this)

also, there is nothin wrong with ignoring naughtiness. if you think he is doing it to get your attention (when you are on the phone or whatever) then i would ignore

CantSleepWontSleep Thu 12-Jun-08 09:46:51

I had to take some sort of action with an even younger at the time dd, as we were in danger of being thrown out of a toddler group. I followed hunker's suggestion of sitting her on my lap for 2 minutes whilst holding her arms (usually sort of crossed in front of her so that she couldn't flail and escape). She didn't like it, but I think it worked. Either that or the behaviour just stopped anyway.

belgo Thu 12-Jun-08 09:50:02

cantsleepwontsleep - I think that's a sort of holding time out. I've seen other parents use it. You have to be careful though they don't head butt you in the nose!

SummatAndNowt Thu 12-Jun-08 10:23:10

At that age it's probably best to look at what leads up to that behaviour and address that to head it off.

Plus, I started early with ds labelling his emotions so a "I understand you're frustrated let's do x" would often help these moments pass.

Oh and with hitting I also always told him that hitting hurts me (or whatever word you use for hurt so they can link it) and that's why we don't hit people, so he could start learning that his behaviour impacted other people.

bohemianbint Thu 12-Jun-08 10:32:27

I do try to get him out and keep him occupied as much as possible. But sometimes, his idea of being occupied is throwing stickle bricks (or similar) all over the place! He did it the other day and whacked my friend in the eye with one. I'm also worried that if he behaves like this with other children we're not going to be popular at the places we do go to. I have a friend who doesn't tell her child that biting is wrong, and the result is that another friend now has to keep her child away from him. I don't want to find myself in a situation like that.

It really is hard eh?

belgo Thu 12-Jun-08 10:34:41

always tell him what's he doing is wrong. If he persists in throwing a certain toy around, take the toy away from him and try and distract him with something else.

desperatehousewifetoo Thu 12-Jun-08 11:43:27

When he kicks you say in a firm voice (make sure he is looking at you) 'no kicking' and hold his legs/feet away from you if necessary. If he throws something 'no throwing'. (I had a rule in the house that there was no throwing, not even balls. This helped when other peolpe came to play).

I don't think he is too young to understand short, clear message.

Of course, all the positive re-inforcement you can when he is being good. don't forget to tell him what it is that he is doing well. e.g. 'good sharing ds',

I think it will make life easier when little one arrives if you start doing this now. in my experience, my ds's behaviour went to pot a few months after my dd was born!

bohemianbint Thu 12-Jun-08 11:49:51

Cheers. Will keep plugging away. I do tend to give him lots of praise and smother him with cuddles and kisses when he is good, but at the moment feel like am turning into nasty shouty Jeremy Kyle type parent.

Desperate - surely his behaviour can't get any worse?! Am quite terrified what might happen when the next one comes.

desperatehousewifetoo Thu 12-Jun-08 12:03:16

My ds wasn't so much physical in his bad behaviour, more annoying attention seeking behaviour at that point. He was 3 1/2yrs when dd arrived, so a bit older.

As you say, keep plugging away and by time little dc arrives, you'll have some strategies in place that work for you. As everyone always says, it's *a phase* and normal, if undesirable, behaviour! So it won't last forever.

My dcs hate it now if I turn into 'jeremy kyle mother' when they have just pushed me too far, so it has it's uses!

Nicolaw604 Fri 12-Feb-16 02:48:50

I have a 22month old also who punches slaps etc and when u give her into trouble she thinks it funny no matter how firm unr with her she will continue no matter what

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