Tics - stressed out mum:(

[alittlebitshy]

I've posted a couple of times about this but I am v v stressed at the moment and just need to let out a big cyber scream!!!!

My dd is 5. A few weeks ago she developed a blinking tic - the classic squeezing the eyes shut type. That worried me but it does seem to have died down a bit.

However, she has now started a physical jerk of her torso. Where she basiclaly arches her back and leans back, sometimes taking her head back with her, creating a double chin (just to give you an image of what she's doing).

Dh is telling me it will pass like the eyes one did - but I am terrified. This one is really noticeable (i think) and I am scared that people will comment to her about it and think her weird. As it is she is quite touchy and clingy at the moment (I suppose it could all be related) and worried about friendships at school - and I am worried that this could alienate her more.

Am I being oversensitive?

IS this likely to pass or might it linger?

Help........

[alittlebitshy]

naughtily bumping it myself to keep it in active convos......

[alittlebitshy]

.

[alittlebitshy]

thanks.

Been in tears this morning (am also 32 weeks pg so that doesn't help) about it

[mouseling]

My DS1 (also 5) has had several different tics that have come and gone. I understand how you feel - i find it incredibly distressing to see him like that. But i think it's not uncommon in young children. The pattern for my DS seems to be that it passes by itself but then may be replaced by something else.

[alittlebitshy]

how noticeable have your ds's tics been? I feel this body jerking one is quite obvious

[dizzydixies]

ALBS is she starting school soon? nervous about the baby? something upset her?

am sure she doesn't even realise she's doing it and it is a nervous reaction like biting bottom lip or nails withough noticing

[dizzydixies]

In answer to a question re nervous tics in a 6yr old on another site:

It is good that your daughter took her son to her GP to have these head movements checked out. The doctor's assessment that these were a "habit spasm" refers to what are also known as "tics". These are repeated involuntary muscle movements or sounds, such as finger-snapping, blinking or coughing, for example. They are very common ? around one in six children have tics at some time or other. Tics are not a sign of anything more serious, and it's important to be reassured that in the great majority of cases they eventually cease of their own accord.

[dizzydixies]

Children who develop nervous tics usually show signs of the disorder between the ages of five and ten. When nervous tics first appear, they can often be controlled, but they become automatic as the problem continues. As the child ages, nervous tics typically disappear.

another health site

[dizzydixies]

site re stress in children

hope some of these help sweetie

[alittlebitshy]

thanks dizzy - she's stressed abut friendships at school, not worried about new baby (excited!)....... Someone suggested that it could be a build up of all that has gone on over the last year (I had 2 mcs, got very depressed, then i got pg with this baby and was v v sick , dh was off work with stress at the start of this year...) none of the things were things we told her about or made a big deal about if we did, but maybe be underlying tension has finally come out like this???

[DrNortherner]

Ah the dreaded tics. My ds is now 6 and had various deligghtful tics when in reception and at nursery. His started with eye blinking, then we had coughing and throat clearing, nose rubbing (pushing nose up as far as poss all the time),a looking up to the ceiling one and I'm sure there were others.

Looking back it was always when he was stressd, but at the time we had no idea he was stressed cause he showed no other symptoms.

Try and relax, don't mention it at all (I know this is really hard)

It will pass.

[DrNortherner]

Btw, I know your title says stressed out mum but I bet you have a stressed out dd too. You need to find out why.

[alittlebitshy]

mmmm - I know she is stressed out. she is so tearful and clingy. Feel like such a bad mummy - esp as I am so het up about these tics - I find myself wanting to get angry with her about them (But i know I mustn't cos she can't help it)

If I were to take her to the gp - how long should i leave it? This partic tic has been going on a week or so - should i set myself a "if it's still here in x weeks" deadline or should I just book an app? I do worry that taking her to doc will draw attention to it all cos obv I'd be talking about it in front of her . argh!!!

[DrNortherner]

Don't feel like abad mummy. It will pass I promise.

Tbh, the GP when I took my son was not very helpful. They say that each tic should pass in a month, but it is normal for another one to begin.

Time for GP when 2 tics (verbal (coughing/yelling etc and gross motor skills (body movements) hjappen at the same time.

[asteamedpoater]

Taking your daughter to the GP about something that a lot of children have from time to time is not going to help her self esteem or stress levels. It will just make her feel there is something wrong with her that her Mummy doesn't like about her and the doctor will in all probability just tell you the tics are normal, she will probably grow out of them and not to come back unless they go on for over a year with no or very little break between each tic. You will probably also be advised not to comment on them - which is, frankly, extremely difficult...

Tics are not caused by stress, by the way, but stress tends to make the tics worse, which is why the advice is generally to try not to bring it too much to the child's attention and make an issue of it, as they can't just stop themselves from doing the tics, so being told they should do will just make them more stressed about it and potentially even more tic-prone for a while.

HOWEVER, if you feel that your daughter is particularly stressed at the moment, you could always ask about relaxation therapy, as helping her learn to relax will probably also reduce the severity of the tics.

As to whether the tics will result in your daughter being teased and less popular at school, this is not necessarily the case at all. My brother was never teased about his tics (although he was teased about other things). Often, children are more successful at controlling their tics in the school environment and then come home and tic all the time to relieve the stress of not being able to do them at school, so what you see may not be what she is like at school.

I do know how you feel. I'm really not very good at sitting back and watching my son ticcing, but I know that asking him to stop and making an issue of it is more for my benefit than his - he doesn't mind doing them at all.

[alittlebitshy]

thanks for that asteamedpoater.

I do know that she is ticcing at school cos after I mentioned it to her teacher she said she had noticed it...

I just want to scream. It's making me feel very negative to dd - which is bad bad bad, i know that. I love her very much and I know this is more about my raction to it, and I guess remembering that i ticced a bit (though not like this body jerk) when I was younger and hating that about myself.

rant rant rant.

[lazymumofteenagesons]

My son went through a series of tics around the age of 8/9. These included a cough that sounded like a seal, blinking of eyes and a strange movement of his head to the side and up to the ceiling.
He is now 13 and has none of these. He can still remember doing them and just says he liked the feeling of it.
BTW the GP put him on an inhaler cos thought the cough was asthma. When he didn't go I went to a paediatrician who new almost instantly it was a tic.
The most difficult bit was sitting watching TV with him coughing every 2 seconds and having to ignore it. Plus trying to convince MIL that it was not caused by allergic reaction to his gerbils and dog!

[alittlebitshy]

lol at your mil!!

I'm liking all this reassurance that they do go.... but the pessimistic side of me can't help but worry that they, this one in paticular, will linger for a long time/ever...

[alittlebitshy]

bumping again just to make myself feel better

[asteamedpoater]

Don't worry - it won't last forever (although might be replaced by one that makes you wish you'd not thought this one was so bad!....). My son had two or three extremely noticeable tics - even more peculiar than your daughter's one - but they all stopped after a few weeks and he currently doesn't have any tics at all, not even coughing or sniffing

[HonoriaGlossop]

oh please don't worry. It is very common. No-body cares, except you! I have seen just in the last week, numerous children pass by in the street making the most bizarre movements/noises/ etc, some might be tics, some are just children being children!

It might be possible that you are transferring some stress yourself, ONTO this tic-ing of hers; it's worrying, yes, but it's not that bad to be in tears or obsessing about - maybe this is a good sign to take to work on your own stress levels a bit, I know that's not easy when pregnant but it's got to be worth a try; sounds like you've had a really bad time lately and perhaps acknowledging that and making yourself do some things to de-stress will help you see this in a better perspective?

Agree that totally ignoring it will be the quickest way to get rid of it. Good luck.