Does anyone else sometimes find mumsnet terrifying? While trying to find out how normal my dd is...

(65 Posts)
EBenes Sat 07-Jun-08 23:09:54

I did a search for 18 mo, to see what sort of things I should be doing with my dd and for my dd, and also what sort of stages she should be at and have come away white with fear.

First of all there are people agreeing that their children talked in TWELVE word sentences at 18 mo. TWELVE! I've counted on my fingers, that's like, 'Mummy, I went to the park today and picked some white daisies.' Just daisies is just 11! Then there are posts where people are painting and clay modelling and glueing with their 18 mos. Mine has just about learned to hold a crayon, if I introduce her to paint she's just going to stick her hand in it. Or eat it. In fact, she eats the crayons.

Rationally, I suppose this site is going to attract the entire spectrum of abilities, so the top are going to be here as well as wherever my dd finds herself. But it really is scary.

wrinklytum Sun 08-Jun-08 00:19:35

Serin,thats fab!!!

dd is 2.5 and said "Muma" for the first time the other day

Desiderata Sun 08-Jun-08 00:28:26

What's really funny is that people would count the words in the sentences grin

Ahhh, some people are such knobs.

retiredgoth Sun 08-Jun-08 00:40:45

.....I have to confess, that reading this site over the past week or so has often made me feel distinctly bad. I evidently provide little nourishment, spiritually intellectually or nutritionally to my noisy, fighting, underachieving boys.

(Either I have felt bad, or I have thought "smug f****rs, come and try a slice of what I've got...")

However I am suitably reassured by the healthy scepticism of this thread.

I mean, if there were THAT many gifted children, we would surely be knee deep in 'em....

Can I just hijack a bit to ask about painting/craft activities at toddler groups?

The one I used to go to before DCs got too old, all the other parents/CM used to finish off the childs work.

Eg when we did a frog, DD smeared green paint on about half of it and then lost interest in the frog and when on to painting her forearms or endless handwashing (making the water change colour has always been the best part of painting for her). The other parents would actually paint the bits that remained white so the frog was all green!

I had assumed this was a cultural thing, because they are French and I am not. Has anyone seen this at toddler groups?

wulfricsmummy Sun 08-Jun-08 07:41:31

Message withdrawn

littlelapin Sun 08-Jun-08 08:46:07

Oh that's a Quote of the Week nomination right there, wulfricsmummy!

Rusty, just looked at your profile - your daughter is beautiful! You must be so proud of her

Ebenes I promised myself that I would never get sucked into competitive parenting, I know logically that babies develop at different ages, but sometimes I just can't help it! In fact for a while it seemed that DD wasn't doing anything, though she would make the sound "woof" (she is 11 mo now, this was about 2 months ago) so DH and I spent 2 weeks saying "DD, what do doggies say? What do doggies say?" trying desperately to get her to say "woof" at the right moment so we could use it as a party piece!

Othersideofthechannel
I can only answer for Germany, we do that here too. "Oh, look at the lovely hedgehog DD made today in playgroup"

Well, actually DD played with a dolly while I stuck leaves onto a hedgehog shape. Waste of bloody time, I did not go back.

Ebeeny
Don't worry, I am sure that my DCs have never wandered along "swinging her arms casually while looking around her". DS is 4yo and still chuggs along with his arms up like a little train.

RubyRioja Sun 08-Jun-08 10:30:47

MN often terrifies me, though more about my failings than my dcs grin.

I think it is a case of people telling you what they are proud and pleased about and keeping quiet about the rest. If it was not an isolated incident, hy MN about it.

FWIW, my 3yo 'decorated' the bathroom with her poo yesterday. She is certainly normally bright and abnormally vile that day. Today may be better grin.

Really don't worry about it.

Guadalupe Sun 08-Jun-08 10:41:15

Twelve word sentences are not the norm!

I am sure that some children do but a handful of words and not even stringing them together is quite normal for 18 months.

I know someone that sat down one evening with their (presumably devoted) friend and worked out how many words their 20 month old knew compared to the average. It was something absurd like 100 or so but can you imagine writing them down and counting every word, and then telling people. grin

asteamedpoater Sun 08-Jun-08 16:15:32

Take your child to a parent-toddler playgroup and you'll soon see how normal she is - and how busy all the mums are, decorating toilet rolls, rolling out playdough shapes and making Christmas cards that will later be claimed to have been made by their children. The kids are too busy eating the playdough and pouring glue all over the table, another child's picture or their trousers actually to do anything intentionally artistic.

Kewcumber Sun 08-Jun-08 16:22:17

you know the rough rule of thumb - has anyone mentioned it yet?

one word at one
two words at two
three words at three
18 words at mumsnet

Are there any "normal" toddler - they're all as mad as a box of frogs as far as I can tell.

Kewcumber Sun 08-Jun-08 16:28:07

DS's only 4 word sentance so far at 2.6 was "Molly see Dan willy" blush

In my defence I was trying to persude him to put his pants back on before his friend came to play. The threat of her seeing his willy produced much mirth and a milestone 4 word sentance! Boys don't change do they?

littlelapin Sun 08-Jun-08 16:29:36

grin Kewc (for both posts!)

Hehe Kewcumber.
My DD at 13 months is very talented. Today she removed her own nappy and walked around the house with it, dropping the vile contents (including I may add some chunks of crayon)as she waddled.
I got v.paranoid in DD's first year, after spending too much time with competitive mums and reading developmental stages in books & on web. then one day I looked at DD and realised that the little fluffy headed one was just the best thing thats ever happened to me and now I let her get on with it. Don't worry EBenes. Toddlers are bonkers as Kewcumber says, and we don't want them growing up too quickly like that poor chap who was an antique expert at about 6 and had a sex change and is now totally screwed up.

Smithagain Sun 08-Jun-08 17:13:44

Regarding art and craft - I run a messy-play based toddler group. We start at age 2, which is when some children start being capable of concentrating on gluing, painting etc IME.

Some parents let their kids get on with playing with all the sticky, messy, pretty stuff and take home some gloriously eccentric but generally unrecognisable creations. Others do it with the children and talk through what they are doing together in a rather nice, intimate way. Yet more let their kids play in the sand while they do the craft themselves - and have a thoroughly good time chatting and reliving their childhood.

And I reckon all three are perfectly valid approaches, in different ways.

But I expect they all tell their friends that "DD/DS loves doing art and craft" wink

(When the kids get to about 3, they are much more likely to produce something on their own and refuse to let mummy get involved.)

MsDemeanor Sun 08-Jun-08 17:15:42

My youngest is three, and frankly, I can't remember a single milestone. You know, those milestones that at the time they happened you thought, 'I'll remember this forever'....

cruisemum1 Sun 08-Jun-08 19:02:18

actually, my ds - 21mths - speaks several different languages and is currently working on a cure for rectal cancer grin

ChirpyGirl Sun 08-Jun-08 19:40:41

My DD is 2.4 and can speak sentences that last for several minutes without stopping for breath.

Haven't got a clue what she is saying though grin (DH and I reckon she is talking in tongues)

Hi Ebenes
Know what you mean, my friend has ds same age as my dd and reckons at age 2 1/2 he could write own name, count to 50, do a 60 piece jigsaw, and use a calender?????????
hmm
sure the poor kid is very cute etc... but doubt any of that is true....
Don't worry about it grin

Heated Sun 08-Jun-08 20:05:58

DD (aged 2) loves arts and crafts, I can tell by the glitter in her poo.

She just about strings two words together, some only decipherable by translator-parent.

On the other hand she has a mean right hook, excellent coordination and is evincing a scary kind of early criminal intelligence.

grin

Guadalupe Sun 08-Jun-08 20:14:35

oh yes, we have hama beads in the poo too.

Chirpygirl
Perhaps your DD is truly G&T and has taught herself to speak Japanese

Kewcumber Mon 09-Jun-08 09:02:40

I have been thinking about this "She is getting progressively better at walking, swinging her arms casually while looking around her" I think we should petition to get it changed to:

"He is getting progressively better at walking, however he prefers a gangly flailing-limb run. If forced to walk he will stop and pick up every leaf on the way and examine it in detail as if it were the missing link between and ape and man and his Nobel prize depends upon it. He will also discover how interesting ants are at this point. On the upside, he may stop licking lamp-posts about now"

Here is my 19mo DD's twelve word sentence:

"addn addn addn addn addn addn addn addn addn addn addn addn"

grin

a) it's a spectrum and b) half of them are lying.

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