Does anyone else sometimes find mumsnet terrifying? While trying to find out how normal my dd is...

(65 Posts)
EBenes Sat 07-Jun-08 23:09:54

I did a search for 18 mo, to see what sort of things I should be doing with my dd and for my dd, and also what sort of stages she should be at and have come away white with fear.

First of all there are people agreeing that their children talked in TWELVE word sentences at 18 mo. TWELVE! I've counted on my fingers, that's like, 'Mummy, I went to the park today and picked some white daisies.' Just daisies is just 11! Then there are posts where people are painting and clay modelling and glueing with their 18 mos. Mine has just about learned to hold a crayon, if I introduce her to paint she's just going to stick her hand in it. Or eat it. In fact, she eats the crayons.

Rationally, I suppose this site is going to attract the entire spectrum of abilities, so the top are going to be here as well as wherever my dd finds herself. But it really is scary.

bluejelly Sat 07-Jun-08 23:12:19

Don't be scared! They all learn at different rates. My dd couldn't say a 12 word sentence at 18 months.
Could barely say a word!
Can't shut her up now ( she is 7)

My DS was over 3 before he was saying 12 word sentences. And he is still within the normal range.

I think that people glueing and painting etc with their children are often mummy glueing and painting and the DCs wandering off to do something more interesting.

I teach English to small children, and most of them start to draw with crayons at around 18mths to 2yrs. We do fingerpainting too but it is very very messy, but also good fun.

If you want to do painting, then use finger paints that are nontoxic and big sheets of paper.

But don't worry about her development, there are always going to be DCs that do more and those that do less than your DS.

mylovelymonster Sat 07-Jun-08 23:17:33

DD nearly 17 months. 'Just' learning single words and we are very proud. She thinks crayons are yummy grin

SmugColditz Sat 07-Jun-08 23:18:35

Aaaahahahaha

The Mumsnet Factor.

Group together a large number of competitive overachievers, give them a means of communication (the internet) and something they care deeply about (their children).

Stand back and watch the brags fly.

Niecie Sat 07-Jun-08 23:18:49

What you have to remember that is that these high achievers are few and far between.

We have gluing, painting and playdough at the toddler group I run - the children do stuff with their parents but the reality is that the parents due and the children eat the playdough or put the paintbrush in their ear but their mums could still say they are doing the activities together even if the children have no idea what is going on!

I also think that sometimes some of the post need to be taken with a teeny weeny pinch of salt. After all we can say what we like about our children and chances are you will never ever know if we embellish a little.

If you want to know what the average 18 mth old is like go to the home page of MN, click on your child on the left hand column and have a look at the developmental milestones. I bet you anything you have nothing to be worried about at all.smile

ebenes - and you believe this stuff? wink

S1ur Sat 07-Jun-08 23:20:37

Don't fret.

Pretend those posters are exaggerating or drunk if that helps grin

My 20m says two-word sentences, if I'm lucky. and still eats crayons sometimes - he is a noodle. And utterly fab natch

His sis did talk dead early though so meh, different children different skills it makes fark all difference in the end. Apart from I will bang my head on my wall if tomorrow when ds says "ooook" and points and I say yes darling? do you want a drink? a snack? is there a bird? a bee? do you want to have a banana?????? what? WHAT?????

Niecie Sat 07-Jun-08 23:20:53

the parent glue not due.

PinkTulips Sat 07-Jun-08 23:23:50

i think the art stuff is how willing you are to cope with the mess.

dd did more painting and stuff at that age than ds because it was easier to contain the mess with one, but now that it's summer i let them paint in the garden. glueing is in some ways less messy (glue sticks and paper) but means prep to get interseting things for them to glue... which doesn't happen often in this house!

as for speech, all kids are differant. 4 months ago at 18 months ds's wasn't great, then suddently overnight he did start rambling in sentances, but then he has a big sister to pick that stuff up from.

keep in mind, many parents exagerate wildly, even more so on the internet where they don't have to meet the eyes of the incredulous readers wink

RustyBear Sat 07-Jun-08 23:24:12

When DD was born, DS was just over 2 and I wrote out a list for my mum (who was going to look after him) of things he said with translations - none of the phrases was more than 3 words, and most of them were incomprehensible unless you knew him well.
He's currently at university reading History & politics, so I really don't think it's any indication of general intelligence.

wrinklytum Sat 07-Jun-08 23:24:22

Oh,ignore them!!All kids differ

FWIW my first child is (I think) reasonably smart,not a genius.My second has developmental delay.I have done equal amounts of sticking/colouring/painting and bookreading with them both.

Mammamoo Sat 07-Jun-08 23:27:28

My mum keeps me down to earth on things like this - apparently I was talking at 7 months (!), reading by 2 but couldn't walk till about 18 months and wouldn't feed myself till about the same age. Most kids end up able to talk / walk / feed themselves etc in the end so what difference do a few months make either way?

though having said that my mum does seem to have competitive grandma syndrome, always telling me stuff her friends' grandkids can do 'oh so and so is waving / pointing / speaking fluent japanese' or whatever..

littlelapin Sat 07-Jun-08 23:27:34

DS's longest sentence so far is "No tank oo Mama" (when offered a bath wink) and that's only with his speech accelerating rapidly in the past month - he's 2 and 2 months. HV at his 2 year check said he was perfectly normal.

Clay is for eating, crayons still occasionally need to be tasted, although in the painting stakes, I think he is supremely talented - rivals Jackson Pollock grin

littlelapin Sat 07-Jun-08 23:28:29

RustyBear - you have a child at uni?! shock How can that BE, I thought you were early 30s!

S1ur Sat 07-Jun-08 23:33:33

DS is very advanced at acting - he can execute a perfect indignant that was unfair face with sound effects and you should see his innocent I am not drawing on the walls presentation. I should get him an agent really.

Oh and he is pitch perfect on his tantrum screams as well

<proud mummy> grin

Rustybear
Lol, you have just reminded me, I did the same thing with my MIL as DD was difficult to understand (plus she was speaking English which MIL does not understand)

She does not shut up now. (DD, not MIL)

Although the same could be said for MIL

EBenes Sat 07-Jun-08 23:38:59

Aw, thank you all! I think I need to go to more toddler groups, but the one mine is at she is by a long way the youngest, so it's just more examples of children out-talking and out-understanding her by miles. They all know how to put things away and copy the teacher and mine just wanders around shouting OUTSIDE! OUTSIDE! (1 word sentence). It's true that she will eventually learn to do it, but it is easy to think that being slow now means being a bit thick later. Am going to check out the official milestones on the home page as a nice bedtime story. Well, I hope...

RustyBear Sat 07-Jun-08 23:39:50

I wish LL! Early 50's! Were you confused by by the first pic on my profile? - I put those up to celebrate DD's 18 th birthday! DS is 20 & DD 18, hopefully by October I'll have 2 at uni!
Nice to think I "sound" young, even if I don't look it.....

micci25 Sat 07-Jun-08 23:42:56

i agree all kids differ i cant really remember excatly what age dd1 started talking but she was very quick. we took her on holiday when she was 16 months and i can remember that we were able to converse with her then and much of what she said made sense but wasnt gramatically correct.

she picked up 'wanna a euro' n 'want one' very quickly grin and she was able to question why she needed suncream and tell you which slide she wanted to go on and she sang 'bob builder' on kareoke but all the words were wrong.

dd2 however is twelve months and can only say 'mama' and 'errgh'! she comminicates by calling every one mamma, even her dad, and pointing at what she wants and saying 'errgh'. although she never says 'mamma errgh' so i dont think she knows how to put more than one word together!

your dd is just fine. she will learn these things when she is ready.

littlelapin Sat 07-Jun-08 23:47:24

Oh yeah, profile, yeah I'd looked at that <cough> blush

EBenes, DS's best friend (exact same age) was saying "three green lorries!" (and being right) at about 21 months - DO NOT COMPARE, it will do your head in grin

EBenes Sat 07-Jun-08 23:51:48

From the 'your child' section, the first thing I read:

"Her physical achievements: She is getting progressively better at walking, swinging her arms casually while looking around her."

Oh dear. And <i>casually</i>!

serin Sun 08-Jun-08 00:00:57

At three and a half my son managed his longest ever sentence, it was seven words long.....I don't like you Mrs Speech Therapist........We were so proud!!!

littlelapin Sun 08-Jun-08 00:14:35

EBenes, the Mumsnet Child updates once told all the mothers of 3 year old boys that they would be playing with dolls, getting ready for the day when they too became mothers grin so I wouldn't worry too much!

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo Sun 08-Jun-08 00:16:26

hmm at 12 word sentences.

dd2 just about says hello.

And she calls me Nanny (which I'm not too impressed with)

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