how do you get a balance of doing things with DCs but not having them flip out in the evenings because they are exhausted?

[cathcat]

Plus DH is not here for 95% of the time - we have not seen him since Thursday lunch time. Summer holidays coming up and dreading it - managing two children who start screaming and whinging at bedtime even though you have made effort to do nice things with them in the day. I think we have a pretty good routine for bedtime. But I just end up shouting/get ratty and feeling like I have undone all the good stuff from the daytime. Anyone in same situation?

[LolaLadybird]

I know exactly what you mean and I'm not sure there is an answer - apart from taking deep breaths and looking forward to when they're both in bed and you can have a v large glass of wine!

My DC's are nearly 3 and 6.5 months. It's lovely when DH is around but he regularly has to work late or sometimes stays away and I just grin and bear those nights. A week ago he was away for 4 nights and I was sooo pleased to see him when he got back.

Some days are better/worse depending on how tired DD is. I don't think it matters how good a bedtime routine you have - like you, I think ours is pretty good - if they're really tired then it can be hard work.

[cathcat]

Yes, glasses of wine feature quite heavily in my evenings
I guess grinning and bearing it is the answer and look forward to the chance that DH might actually be here for bedtimes. (not happened for 10 days now).
Most annoying was when I tried to explain this to DH he said "They're only two small children". That was helpful!

[Collision]

how old are they and what time does the bedtime routine start?

[cornsilk]

What about a story tape before bedtime to chill out? We try to split our two up at bedtime as they really wind each other up when they're tired. But if you're on your own you won't find that easy. Can you find something to occupy the eldest while you sort out the youngest one?

[beansprout]

There speaks a man who hasn't put them both to bed!!!

[cathcat]

They are just turned 5 and 2.9. I ususally start trying to get them upstairs about half seven.
I tried putting DS2 to bed first last night but this didn't work as he obviously thought he was missing out on something and he started screaming "I'm not tired, I'm not tired" in an exhausted wailing way. He seems to have reserves of energy I certainly don't have! Also a new thing he has started is shouting "I'm hungry" at random moments throughout the day, even though we have just finished a meal. He did this last night at bedtime.

[cornsilk]

ooooh my ds2 does the 'I'm hungry' thing at bedtime too! I get him some toast and he sits in his room by himself and eats it when he does that.

[teslagirl]

I SO think we mums should every now and then leave our menfolk to manage the 'only 2 small children' for a weekend- alone. I don't mean it vindictively at all... Well only a bit- til DH made the error of saying 'how hard can it BE? All you do is drink coffee with your mates all day....' Didn't make THAT mistake again!)- I think it'd a be a very useful exercise for all concerned. You give them a quick tour of where stuff is, a quick rundown of routine, then out you go for a good over-nighter! Don't call, don't precook dinner, don't lay all the clothes out- let the 'it's SO easy' dad find out for himself. It's the only way! You will find a new respect creeping in.

[SoupKitchen]

We call it witching hour here the hour nad a half from dinner to bedtime is full of grumpy, whinging, stroppy toddlers and the worst thing is I have friends with 10 year olds who still hate that time of day,
Definately glass of wine time[half hearted smile]

[Collision]

I think IIWY I would start it all an hour earlier.

This is our house and mine are 6 and 3.

It varies as they dont have a bath every day.

6.30pm TV off and dinner is finished etc and into the bath

(I try not to shout as I have given myself plenty of time so it is pretty calm)

7pm out of bath and into PJs. We often have a race to see who can win into PJs - the little one needs more help and it is always a draw!!

7.10pm story time. One chosen story each and then a shared book - atm we are reading My Dad the Birdman which is very funny as there is a man in it called Mr Poop! which sends them both into hysterics!!

7.30pm Both into bed with a story CD - they take it in turns to choose. Both asleep almost immediately and they wake at 7am!!

I have done this routine since birth and I swear by it! HTH

[Collision]

we do this whatever we have done in the day so even if they are over excited or over stimulated they know what is coming next.

You need to be firm and dont take no for an answer.

Stick them in the bath and read to them to calm them if you must.

I think by starting them at 6.30pm you will be calmer because you are giving them time to unwind rather than rushing them into bed to be done by 8pm.

[pavlovthecat]

I have found with DD who has been quite hard work a bed time recently, that playing bed time nursery rhymes has helped to calm her, focus her brain a little and start to unwind, as we start our bedtime routine of changing nappy, through to story time. Off for story, then back on while she settles in bed.

I was told about it (the nusery rhymes rather than the routine, thats me) from another MNer a while ago, did not really give it much hope, could not see it working, but it really did.

[newgirl]

i think id start earlier that that too - mine are the same age and i take them up for bath 6.30 with the aim of getting them in bed for 7. Then read stories so lights off quarter past. If they getting ratty before then cbeebies can stupify very effectively!

[ChippyMinton]

Definately start routine earlier. Having said that mine has gone to pot with the lighter evenings at the moment. I like them in bed by 7.30pm, then they can read or listen to a story tape or fiddle with lego. Usually go off to sleep by themselves by 8pm. By which time I have finished my wine and am ready for the evening with DH. Mine are 6,5 & 4 BTW