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Behaviour/development

just found a great idea to stop my dd having a bigger tantrum.

24 replies

Carameli · 18/01/2005 09:47

I have no idea how long this will work, but its working at the moment which is great for me right now.
My dd(15mnths) has started having some big tantrums over the silliest things. Especially when I won't let her bash my laptop:-) or give her something off my plate when she has lots on hers.
But the other day when she started to get all annoyed I started to laugh a little as it was actually quite funny how she was acting, and she stopped having her tantrum and started to join me in laughing. SO now whenever I see the signs I start a little false laugh and she joins in as well. It just stops it developing into something bigger and is quite useful till I can reason more with her.


Has anyone else got any tips like this. Have not worked out what else I can do when she does not want to get into her pushchair and we are going out.

OP posts:
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Bozza · 18/01/2005 09:49

Have often done that sort of thing with my DS. Another alternative is to tickle them to force a laugh and defuse the situation.

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Carameli · 18/01/2005 10:00

will try the tickling thing as well, she is usally really ticklish and loves being tickled.

OP posts:
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Bozza · 18/01/2005 10:03

Might not work so well getting her into the pushchair though. Arms and legs everywhere.

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MrsBigD · 18/01/2005 10:04

dd is a bit older than yours but we still use the laughing. In her case though she doesn't join in anymore but realises that her strop won't get her anywhere so will stop enventually.

Though I have to admit my most used phrase at the moment is 'stop winging it won't get you anywhere' and slowly the message is sinking in. She is 'The Queen of Pout and Artificial Waterflow' though which is actually quite cute iykwim

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NotQuiteCockney · 18/01/2005 10:06

Oh, we have a good trick for pouts. I try to grab that lovely juicy lower lip. I say I'm going to eat it, and get quite excited about that lovely tasty lip.

DS1 finds it very hard to pout and giggle at the same time.

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colditzmum · 18/01/2005 10:13

You can also "sneeze" in their faces!

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handlemecarefully · 18/01/2005 10:38

Well I just use the tried and tested method of ignoring. Tantrum resolves quickly enough then.

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MrsBigD · 18/01/2005 13:41

NQC - tried the lower lip thing with dd but she get's really upset when we 'threaten' to eat any part of her or her brother!

HMC - ignoring works for a while, but then dd gets pretty destructive... for which we have to tell her off... which lead to another tantrum. But generally she now runs into her room 'crying' and throws herself onto her bed... and I'm so cruel and just leave her there

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Chandra · 18/01/2005 13:43

I always do that with DH, works like a charm , however... a friend tried it with her DP and it make the things far worse!!!

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Hausfrau · 18/01/2005 13:45

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fisil · 18/01/2005 13:49

Sometimes making a noise taking the p out of his whining helps, you know, he says "Want that biscuit" in an if-you-don't-give-I'll-have-a-tantrum tone of voice, I say "Wan dat bicksit" in a squeaky baby voice. Can defuse the situation.

I once read about a mum whose child started having a full throw herself on the floor tantrum over wanting something in a supermarket. So the mum threw herself on the floor and started kicking a screaming too. The child quickly got up and told the mum to stop it, she was being embarassing. The mum reckoned the child never threw a public tantrum again!

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MrsBigD · 18/01/2005 13:51

brave mother! then again the things I've done in public since I've had children...

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shrub · 18/01/2005 14:08

have you let her see if she wants to climb in herself? my ds2 use to howl during nappy change. from about 14 months i would say in a cheery voice 'nappy change time!' and he now goes and gets the changing mat, nappies and wipes himeslf and lies down. sounds like asserting her independence at an early age!

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paolosgirl · 18/01/2005 14:12

My ds used to belt me (literally) if I tried to make light of his tantrums . His were so fierce that there was very little we could do, except wait for them to pass - or try and distract him before they happened. Unfortunately, they would come out of nowhere, so it wasn't always possible.

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shrub · 18/01/2005 14:14

better add to hold handlebars at same time in case she over balances and pram tips over. they understand so much at this age - you could call it 'pram time' though my ds2 (now 19 months) insists on walking everywhere to inspect acorns, ants, litter, drains etc.

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bensmum3 · 18/01/2005 20:52

Glad to see things haven't changed, I can remember dd ruunning off in WH Smiths 9 years ago, so I had to persuade her to get her back in the pushchair so she would'nt get lost, this dear old lady came and stood over us, (dd's arms and legs everywhere), and said "wouldn't you be better to give her a cuddle ". dd didn't want a cuddle, she wanted to run around the shop !

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SofiaAmes · 18/01/2005 22:07

I have a 2 and a 4 year old. I've found that if one (usually 2 year old, dd) starts moaning, it's very effective to tell the other one to stop moaning in a kind of exaggerated tone of voice. The one doing the moaning thinks it's funny that she's making the noise and silly mummy doesn't realize and is telling off ds instead. And ds thinks it's funny that dd is making lots of noise and mummy thinks it's him. Occasionally I tell off one of dd's dollies for making the noise too. It usually diffuses the situation and often a play argument ensues with everyone concluding that it's daddy (who's not even present) making the noise.

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highlander · 18/01/2005 22:13

Apparently (my DS is only 5mo so what do I know!) when you want to persuade a toddler to do something, you give them a choice within that activity. For example, if you want to persuade your DD to get in the pushchair to go out: "do you want to wear your blue or red coat to go out inthe pushchair?'

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lockets · 18/01/2005 22:15

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lockets · 18/01/2005 22:15

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handlemecarefully · 19/01/2005 10:52

Well just goes to show that all kids are different. There isn't one single solution that fits all.

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Skribble · 24/01/2005 22:44

My Dd can be giggled out of a strop or when in a huffy strop I just say "nobody will listen if you do that". I discovered this magic phrase last month. I don't know why but it works. All previous reasoning etc. failed. The arms unfold and the head lifts.

Ds needs lots of logical reasoning god forbid there is a flaw in my reasoning! Then I have had it.

Ignoring worked with neither both sob uncontrollably and start to hyperventilate and basiclly have a panic attack.

When I nannyied both boys were put on the naughty step and would come round quite quickly.

When you find your secret its like discovering M&S chocolate deserts for the first time.

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collision · 24/01/2005 22:49

We have worked out how to get ds 2.9yrs into the pushchair. HAVE A BABY!!

He has always hated his pushchair and never wanted to get in it. Now that we have ds2, 11 weeks, he jumps in it and insists on the straps being fastened and puts a blanket over his knees like an old man! Ds2 has to go in the sling. I really dont want a double buggy though so I will put up with it til ds2 is too heavy to carry. Kids!

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goreousgirl · 24/01/2005 22:50

Did you see that giraffe in the garden? Worked for a good 6 months at around 2 and a half!

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