Long term sleep problem - nearly 6 yr old

[Pastarito]

My ds1 is nearly 6 and still does not go through the night without waking up at least once and waking me up because he is too anxious to get himself back to sleep again on his own.

I don't know any more if this is simply a sleep habit or if there is something else wrong. He is in Yr1 at school and for the first time since he started nursery at 3, he is having a tough time. His writing isn't very good and it seems to be holding him back. Socially, he isn't getting on as well with the other children as he used to.

As a baby he was hyper and I didn't sleep more than 3 hrs in a row for about 18 mths - maybe more, as although he is a poor sleeper now, he used to be horrendous! I used to think he might be ADHD but his behaviour has always seemed to be ok in class and outside of the home in general, so I thought that maybe I was exaggerating it in my mind a bit. His behaviour at home is also now a lot better, but his concentration at school seems to be going down hill a bit.

I have tried Ferbrer techniques and they work for a limited period. Bribery also works for a few days but I can't seem to correct the sleep patterns long term. So if ds1 really wants to, he can help himself, but it is short lived.

I really can't stand the thought of going through another few years of not sleeping properly.

Does anyone have any advice about this. My ds2 is 2 yrs old, a lot calmer and sleeps 10-11 hrs solid every night, and I am not parenting him differently (I don't think).

[ElectricBlue]

Pastarito, does he talk about school and how he gets on with his friends. School friends can cause distress sometimes. It's worth having a word with his teacher about his sleep or bring it up at the next open evening when you get his school report. His lack of sleep will impact on his school work and the school would probably appreciate knowing. I've been having sleep problems myself and I can get my words and names easily muddled when I'm tired - if he's tired he could get muddled too. What kind of things do you do with him at home to help his writing? I've started doing more at home with my ds to boost his confidence and the results have been really good. Y1 is very disciplined compared with reception - I've had to step up the pace a bit. My ds has also had problems getting to sleep in the past 6 weeks or so and thinks of scary things that keep him awake although he rarely wakes up. There has been a lot of upheaval lately in our life so I can understand why my ds sleep has been affected. It is all hit and miss though, he's also got things on his mind about his peer group at school and when that settles, I know he'll be fine. The school is working with me on his issues. Hope this helps.

[Freckle]

DS3 (6) has always been a night-waker, usually coming to get into bed with us and waking me in the process. Tbh, I don't mind it on an occasional basis, but every night is just too much as it takes me ages to get back to sleep again and I can't survive on just a few hours' sleep a night.

We have (touch wood) cured him of this problem but doing a reward chart. If he stayed in his own bed all night for 3 nights, he would get a prize. Then it was 5 nights for a better prize, then 7 and so on. You can continue until you feel you've spent enough on prizes! We never needed to go past 7 nights as, by then, he was sleeping through with no incentive needed. I don't think he's been in our bed for at least 3 weeks now.