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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

6 year old in the mornings- I am not coping anymore!

15 replies

Rachmumoftwo · 02/05/2008 10:00

My 6 year old daughter is a bloody nightmare in the mornings. OK, I know they all are, but I am getting to the end of my tether. I'm crying just writing this, it was such a battle to get her to school today. She will just lie there while I am getting myself and DD2 ready, refuse to wear what I put out (it's school uniform ffs)and generally play me up, wind me up, until I am ready to just give in and cry. I've tried bribery, begging, ignoring, I even drove around the corner to scare her the other day, and she just didn't care! It's getting so I don't even like her sometimes. And the weekends are worse, we can never make plans for anything before mid-day, as I just can't get her ready.
Her attitude does suck at the moment, she is very much a highs and lows kind of girl, little in between. I don't want our relationship to be like this anymore, please help!

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nailpolish · 02/05/2008 10:04

my dd is 5.5 and she is the same. i cant think what to say that would help, i just want you to know you are not alone!

do you think there is something wrong at school?

would haivng a friend come by to walk to school with help at all? sometiems our neighbours dd (shes 9) walks with us which helps

and the uniform - maybe dd could choose a new one? i let my dd choose her own cardigan etc (from a selection of 2 in the shop!)

helenelisabeth · 02/05/2008 10:05

Poor you, I thought my DD was bad - its hard work isn't it?

Have you thought about a reward chart in her bedroom, just to give her an incentive at the end of the day (a treat (ice-cream or something after school) or some pocket money to save up something she would like. Other than that I would take privileges away (does she do any after school activities that). You have to stick to it.

My DD is going out after school with a friend and she was being a pain this morning, I warned her if she didn't get ready she would not be going out after school. She knew I meant it so she hurried up. I do thing you have to be consistent in how you deal with it.

Good luck!

helenelisabeth · 02/05/2008 10:06

That middle paragraph does make sense! Sorry should ready (does she do any after school activities that she loves and you could stop her going to?)

helenelisabeth · 02/05/2008 10:07

Should read

nailpolish · 02/05/2008 10:07

does school have a tuck shop? sometimes i give dd 10p for tuck shop if she dresses herself.

Furball · 02/05/2008 10:11

My ds (6.5) was like this over alot of stuff. I used to say 'I bet I can beat you at getting dressed' the winner has to shout 'beat you'. chuck his clothes on the bed, then pretend to scrabble around for your clothes. Works a treat. Still now we have getting dressed races and we'll try and be the first one to say 'beat you!'

Also works at bedtime - 'race you upstairs'

Rachmumoftwo · 02/05/2008 10:11

She loves school and is very popular. It is a rural school and we all have to drive unfortunately. Usually she goes in early to a local breakfast club and they bus them in from there, but we've not made it for 2 days due to her behaviour. She loves it, once she's there. She is great for everyone else, very bright and sweet, but a cow for me. I sometimes feel she is punishing me for not being there enough, but my hours fit around the children very well. I am often not home until 5 or 6, but DH is, so it's not like they are spending ages in childcare, just breakfast club. And they have me all school holidays. I ask her, when she's reasonable, and she says she's fine.
She is very emotional though, and it may just be that I am nearest to her and she vents it all on me.
I think I will do the reward chart thing again.
Dreading puberty!

OP posts:

Furball · 02/05/2008 10:12

spooky - posted exact same time Rachmumoftwo

Fennel · 02/05/2008 10:15

My 8yo dd1 is appalling at getting ready to go out. This morning I had a huge screaming fit at her as once again it was time to leave for school and she wasn't ready. Her little sisters are both far better at getting dressed and ready.

I know with my dd1 it's a personality thing, she's not being deliberately naughty, she's just very dreamy. But it's still extremely irritating. I'm thinking of making her go to bed earlier - 6.30 or so, until things improve, but actually I think she'll be like it all her life. Some people I suppose just don't get ready very effectively.

witchandchips · 02/05/2008 10:15

could you simply call her bluff. She is old enough to be embarrased by turning up to school in jarmies, so simply say that we are leaving at x o'clock and if you are not ready then tough.

Rachmumoftwo · 02/05/2008 10:17

That was spooky. I like the sound of races, she is a competitive child! Thanks for all your help and reassurance. Reading my last post, it sounds like I am not there and trying to justify it, but I am mostly at work (well, PGCE) when they are in school, so they wouldn't see me anyway. I try not to study until they are in bed too, so they have my undivided attention. I'm too near the end to give up now, and I've explained that me getting a teaching job will benefit them in so many ways (we might even have some money!).

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nailpolish · 02/05/2008 10:18

shes not punishing you, rach, dont beat yourself up over that

its just a power thing, and the fact that she wants to be her own independent little person. itll stop as quickly as it started (and she will move onto something else!)

at leas tyou know its not school is the problem

Rachmumoftwo · 02/05/2008 10:19

I have called her bluff, but she just wept (really, far worse than just crying) and was in such a state she got ready. The next day we were back to normal. I threatened to leave her at home too, even drove off (only round the corner, I live in a very quiet cul-de-sac, she was safe) but she didn't care!

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ByTheSea · 02/05/2008 10:24

I have successfully used races to motivate my children at around that age. I just raced my DD2, who will be six tomorrow, getting dressed this morning and she beat me. I also find racing against the kitchen timer is advantageous -- it makes you not the 'bad guy' - the timer is the 'bad guy'. Say, Perhaps a chart where she beats the timer a certain number of times which results in a reward might work.

confusedmamma · 03/05/2008 23:04

does she like music? I sometimes put an ABBA track on and dare me son to see if he can get ready by the time it's finished. If he can then he can jump on the bed while he listens to it again. Then I tidy him up a bit and then off we go. Well, in theory anyway... !!!

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