Sharing: suggestions for activites / games that would help 31month old

[SwissCheese]

DS, an only child, is finding the concept of sharing with others quite difficult. Any suggestions of what 'fun' things I can do with him, and with other children of his age, that would help to reinforce sharing and taking turns that has worked for other people?

[frazzledbutcalm]

I think all children find this concept difficult, not just only children.
Role play games at home will help him learn to take turns which will also help him understand how to share. Tbh its not something i've pushed with any of mine, it comes more naturally as they grow a bit older. All i really did was let them know why it was nice to share and ensure they did if we were out or had friends over. Its a difficult one as obviously they won't share their brand new toy (which i think is quite reasonable!), i just played each situation by ear.

[slng]

We do:

• discuss beforehand what toys we would like other children to play with and what are too precious which can be put out of sight
• ensure they know that letting other people play with your toys doesn't mean they are taking them away (that's a real issue - sometimes they are scared that the things will be taken away)
• explain exactly what is required. "Sharing" is too general a term. Eg share food means food is gone, share toys not the same thing - might mean more like taking turns

Mostly that works ...

[LooMoo]

I read somewhere that to a child, sharing their favourite toy (or many toys) can seem as unreasonable to them as being asked to lend our car to a relative stranger would be to us; in their world it IS a big deal! Some kids are more inclined towards sharing than others, siblings or no. It's OK (in my opinion) to ask a child guest to return a toy to your child if your child is really upset, and if at all possible use distraction, distraction distraction to take their minds off whatever is causing the upset. They really are a bit too little to learn quickly and will adjust to the concept with time but go gently... My dd's are very good at the 'I have a turn, then YOU have a turn!' concept; if they don't agree on something they quickly become more concilliatory towards one another if Mummy threatens to turn the TV off unless the shouting stops...

[SwissCheese]

Some good tips, thank you. LooMoo hadn't thought of the sharing in the lending my own car......It makes more sense.
I also think sometimes as he's the only child that some other children in his space just get in the way (!)

[Littlefish]

My dd is an only child too. I never expect her to share her precious spotty dog. Like slng, if there are people coming round, she is aloud to put three things away that she doesn't want anyone else to play with.

We also talk about taking turns, rather than sharing. She knows that if you take turns, you will get the toy back eventually. I also set a time limit e.g. 5 minutes on taking turns and set the kitchen timer if necessary. That way, it's not me saying she has to give the toy away!

31 months is still very much within the "solitary play" phase, or the "playing alongside" phase. Your ds sounds perfectly normal in his reactions.

[Littlefish]

oops - allowed

[jafina]

A friend has an only child and had a lot of problems with him sharing with other children who visited. She realised that she was never making him share when he played alone with her so she started making him wait a bit before she would give him the toy she was "playing" with.

I also definitely recommend the putting away of the most precious toys when children visit, I still do this with my 5 year olds!

[windygalestoday]

I think at 2 and half the best way to approach this would be by sharing a biscuit 2 biscuits 1 for mummy 1 for baby.....if you are expecting visitors try and have toys out that are similar lie blocks,duplo,cars or engines and encourage 1 for each .....each time he shares praise him to the hilt -it will all just click and when he doesnt share its not a mean or selfish vein its just he is ego centric its HIS and he wants it