Little boy pushes me away in favour of daddy

[flintstone]

My little boy (LB)is 2.5yo and we have a 4 month old girl (LG). I'm on maternity leave with LG and also have LB at home 2 days a week. The other 3 days, he travels to nursery, on the train, with Dad. Dad has spent a lot of one-on-one time with him since LG was born as she has been very demanding. LB, however, has always been quite independent and never clingy. He also loves LG but isn't in her face. For the last 4 weeks, as well as being very stroppy and unreasonable, he has been consistently pushing me away whenever I try to interact with him in ANY way. He keeps saying 'Daddy cuddle' and 'Daddy's help' and refuses to have me around. It's breaking my heart.Any ideas/thoughts please!?!

[Purlease]

Have frequently been given the cold shoulder treatment by DS (2.9) in favour of daddy. He carrys her all the time whereas I insist on her walking. If we both go to collect her at nursery she runs past me to him (probably because I normally collect her so it is a novelty when he turns up). Dh has to put her to bed every night - he must be better a t reading the bedtime story! There are lots of times when I get lots of cuddles too so I try not to take it too much to heart.

[QuintessentialShadows]

Could you try to make sure that daddy can spend some time with LG daily, so you can have some quiet time with LB, just the two of you? Maybe you and him could go to the playground alone, or read a story, or something?

Could he be a little resentful that you now spend so much time with LG?

[flintstone]

Thanks both! Good ideas! Have already started these ideas - so it's early days. It's tough though, when I try to do as suggested he still pushes me away and says 'no - Daddy's help!'. He's always had a great relationship with both of us, and Dad is consistent and firm with him. I wonder if I'm being too soft on him - as if I discipline him in front of LB, she gets upset -so I try not to sometimes.

[forevared]

Hi Flintstone,
really feel for you here as I've been through this myself and it's heartbreaking. My 27 month old ds has always been a bit of a daddy's boy and it used to really get to me. I don't know if you're breastfeeding but is it possible for dad to take LG out of the house for a bit leaving just you and LB alone? (Even if dad is in the house, he's always there to run to.) Also there's no baby for him to feel threatened by - it'll be just you and him time.
Whilst on maternity leave before having ds no.2 recently, no.1 son's nursery closed for a couple of weeks and I had him at home with me for that time. It made us much closer and now even though he's still ultimately a daddy's boy, he doesn't necessarily run to daddy immediately. It made such a difference. Good luck

[sfxmum]

i only have one dd nearly 3 and honestly if daddy is home she is not keen on talking to me at all, which is fine and the weekend she loves going out with dh which they do frequently, and she often makes sure I am not tagging along.
I don't mind it at all
but I guess it is different

[sorryihaventaclue]

Hi Flintstone - totally get you, our DS has become SUCH a daddy's boy and it's been breaking my heart. It's all about routine for him i think because my dh gets to do the nursery drop off and pick up they have that bit of time together whilst i'm schlepping back from work on public transport.

i started to get quite resentful (secretly), I don't work fridays and so we normally "rebond" then but that feels quite synthetic but it's the best i can manage whatwith having to work. Last friday DH took the day off and i felt quite cheated, how warped is that?

I think the ideas here are all great, maybe choose a particular time of day to do something that just you and he get to do together whether it's feeding ducks or going out on bikes.

I console myself that it's really great for a son to have such a positive relationship with their father as it will shape the rest of his life. It just hurts a bit in the process.

[booge]

DS was like that with me after DD was born, now sometimes he doesn't want his dad just me. IME they are pretty fickle at this age. We insist that he doesn't have a choice in who does what for him and make sure we both have one on one time with both children and it seems to have evened out.