Settling jack-in-the-box baby - help

[AngeChica]

OK my nightly rigmarole is over - taking over an hour to settle LO. Basically he usually has a short nap around 4.30, then feed, play, bath, then feed then try and put down in cot when he is "ready to sleep" as they say. Eyes are closing, he seems to go over, then stirs and within minutes is wide awake again. I try again, feed him more, rock, shush-pat etc. Eventually he will go, but this can take over an hour. This takes a chunk out of the gap between feeds and also happens at night feeds when he usually wakes on a variation of 11 and 3 with occasional "pointless" stirrings.

So feeding and settling him can take so long I am awake for an hour and a half each time. He is getting a lot more contented in the daytime than when he was a newborn, and these night time happenings don't involve a lot of tears as I can't leave him to cry, he's only 8 weeks old. It's just so tiring I am now starting to dread nights!

I swaddle him but when he stirs he grunts and struggles to get his hands out. However if I experiment with leaving one or both hands free he flaps them about, rubbing his eyes, chewing his hand, hitting himself in the face etc.

Using a dummy seems to make him go wide awake again, and as soon as he loses it he starts to fuss.

This is why I don't tend to put him in his cot for naps in the daytime, as the rigmarole can take so long he's wanting another feed before he even has a sleep!

Talked to others at BF group and am v jealous as most of them seem to feed and then go straight back to sleep, usually within minutes .

He feeds so long as well, I'm hoping this will shorten out too, but he's just such a hungry monkey! and feeds for 20 mins or more on both sides, even at night!

Just wanted to know if anyone had any ideas as I have that nagging feeling I am doing something "wrong!

Also wondered when the need for swaddling will stop - will it be when he gets better control of his movements?

[whomovedmychocolate]

You describe the typical eight week old. They do this.

Newborns don't do a lot and then people are surprised when they suddenly 'wake up' and start asserting themselves.

Don't ever compare your baby with those at your mums groups, very few mums are brave enough to admit that their baby is the one who doesn't sleep or is edgy.

DD didn't sleep for longer than two hours for eight months, she was also almost impossible to settle. We found a bouncy chair helped, as did a swingseat.

In terms of swaddling, we swaddled till four months by which time she was taking herself out of the swaddle and chucking it at us

The long feeds may continue a while - DD fed for upwards of an hour for four months or so. She still would if she had the chance to be honest (she's 17 months now). But honestly things will get easier soon.

BTW he's going through a growth spurt at the minute - expect three weeks of little soditis. It WILL pass though

[angel1976]

Hi,

No idea if this would help but my DS (just over a month old!) is the same with the hands. He loves his hands out (won't take being swaddled, just cries blue murder when you put him in a swaddle...), over his face when he sleeps, chews on them, sucks them etc. He also does the moro (?) reflex thing where he seems to startle and that sometimes wakes him up.

BUT he has been in an Amby Nature Nest pretty much from day one and I think that has really helped as he is restricted in his movements... Even when his arms go all over the place, because of the way he is nestled, his body doesn't move so he continues sleeping. I only mentioned this as I put DS in a Moses basket for one night and noticed what you are saying about your son. Because his arms move around so much, his little body was rolling all over the place and basically he never goes into a deep sleep.

We used to have to rock him to sleep but in the last few days, he has begun to settled himself and drifts off to sleep. When he wakes up to feed (we FF so can't help with the BF problem...), we feed him, give him a cuddle and then puts him back into the nest and he seems pretty happy to go off to sleep! GL, I hope you find a solution soon.

Ax

[accessorizequeen]

You are not doing anything wrong, by any means! In face the feed, play, bath, feed cycle is perfect. I remember going through this with ds2, sometimes it would be 3 hours before I could get him to settle and then he was awake for the next feed two hours later. Drove me absolutely crazy for a while. But it was only a while, they change almost daily and your ds could be easy-peasy to settle next week. You're obviously trying all the methods, and eventually you'll hit on the combination that works for him OR he'll just decide to go to sleep. It is awful, you're just dreaming of having an evening or sleep I expect. It will pass, honestly. Twice I thought it would never end and it did

What time are you actually trying to put him down for bed eventually? I just wondered whether he wasn't quite tired enough yet due to the late nap? Some babies want to go to sleep as soon as they are slightly tired, some seem to prefer it when they're knackered!

chocolate is right, too, about the feeds, 20 mins or more at this age sounds textbook really.

Hope it gets easier soon for you