Over active 4 year old....

[bournemouth]

Since ds1 was 9 months old everyone that has cared for him ie preschools x3 holiday play schemes, child minders, schools and peaditrican has said how active he is. But they have stressed to me how uncommon this amount of activeness is. He is highly intellegent - reports to prove, but no-one has ever been able to get him to do what they want him to do unless he is given one on one attention. He will be going to school in September which i have been waiting for for 2 years as i felt that he was ready when he was 3. But have just found out that the area i will be moving to only except kids for 3 hours a day til January.

I am gutted as he is very able. I would just like to hear from other mums that have proof from professionals ie reports saying how active there sons or daughters are.

I know most mums will say their kids are active but my pead says unless you have reports confirming this and how unusual it is. it would not really be a concern. Sorry to be so specific..

Peads are saying that he may be on the spectrum of add and autism but until he is in full time day care they do not want to label him.
They are saying this case is mild but very uncommon.

[juuule]

What do you mean about getting him to do something someone wants him to do without one to one attention? Do you mean like joining in with games? In what ways is he very active?

[bournemouth]

Yes games, When saying - please do not, can we all line up etc, we all need to, taking turns, listening and doing. Loads really. Really strong willed ,stubborn,determind what ever you want to call it really..

[avenanap]

So he's a bit of a rebel then, follows his own rules? doesn't listen to authority? Sounds like my ds, very bright but lacks an off buton. Brought a book called the unwritten rules of friendship. I've only had it a week, i've discussed it with him and done some of the exercises, he had a certificate from school on friday because he's been so nice and well behaved last week . Sport is good to encourage the little darlings to follow rules.

[bournemouth]

The pay scheme do lots of sports with him and so do school but after 2 years of going to both he is still the same but just more strong willed as he is getting older. They have a hard time getting him to do what they say unless the teacher is with him solely, Another book to add to my collection. I will definaetly get it though the library thatnk..

[juuule]

What does he say when he's asked why he doesn't want to join in? Is he shy? Has he been allowed to sit out a few times? Some children need to come around to things in their own time and can react quite strongly when pushed.

[bournemouth]

No ds1 is anything but shy. Very load will try to make friends with everyone. He just runs away because he does not want to do it, shoults no and hits you, falls to the ground kicking anything in sight and more but can not think as fingers are too cold as just come back from our 3rd walk to doay. Same as every day. He just does not get tired. Even when he has been tp school all day he is screaming again to go out. This has been the case wince he was 2 1/2. As a baby he never slept suring the day if by a miracle he did it would only be for 10 mins. The night sleeps have always been ok but getting him to bed is really tough. He has always woken up at 5am too. My friend suggested to teach him how to read a clock. I explained that he is too active to stay in bed but again no one understands because when we do go round friends houses he is getting his one on one again with other peoples mums.

[bournemouth]

ps He did not speak til 3 then all vocab came on with in 6 months. His speech and lang therapist said they can not belieive how quickly he has come on up to his age. But i keep saying that there is still a lot that he does not understand. But all the tests that they have done and are willing to do on him are up to 4 they say.

[coppertop]

There are some similarities with my ds2 (5yrs and AS) but obviously that doesn't necessarily mean that your ds1 has AS.

When you say that he is active, what kinds of things does he do? With my ds2 a lot of the hyper behaviour (lots of running up and down repeatedly, bouncing off walls, hanging off things) has been put down to sensory-seeking. The OT gave us lots of ideas about how to channel this elsewhere and it has really helped. (You can google sensory integration for info)

Another big trigger of the hyper behaviour was tiredness. Ds2 slept very little. It was an early night for him if he was asleep by 11pm or even midnight. He would wake through the night and then be bouncing around early. he didn't show tiredness in the same way as other children though. Instead of becoming lethargic or yawning he would just become even more hyped up. The Paed prescribed melatonin which helped get him to sleep earlier. Gradually as ds2 slept more he calmed down more too. It's not a miracle cure by any means (ds2 still wakes up at all hours) but it made a huge difference. It's worth asking your Paed about it if ASD is suspected.

Have you had much contact with the new school yet? We had meetings about how best to help ds2 with the transition. It helped the staff to feel better prepared and was also reassuring for us.

If your ds1 needs 1:1 help then it might be a good idea to start thinging about the statementing process (I'm assuming by your MN name that you are in the UK?) if your ds1 doesn't already have a statement. This should provide the funding needed for 1:1 help.

Ds2 doesn't fit neatly into any of the boxes either. (My ds1 also has ASD and his was easier to diagnose). The Paed explained early on that it was hard to tell at the time whether ds2 seemed so different because because he is so bright, or whether he was using his intelligence to find ways to get around the difficulties caused by his AS.

The difference between expressive language and receptive language is also like ds2. His spoken language is now generally so good that the staff at the school couldn't believe at first that he was still under the care of the speech and language therapist. It was only when the SALT showed them the results of her assessments of ds2's ability to understand spoken language that they realised there was a big gap between what he could say and what he could understand.

Feel free to come and join us over on the SN board if you want to. There's a lot of advice and support available.