Sorry - another Fussy Eater thread

[jasperc163]

DD (2.4) has been ill alot recently and as a result has now halved her already extremely miniscule food repertoire (about 5 things). She has no interest in or curiosity about new foods and having dropped some of the key ones we were reliant on, we cant find replacements that she will eat.

Having read alot of the threads about this on here it is clear that the ' if they won't eat it, take it away and they have nothing til next meal' is the most favoured. What i want to ask is if anyone has had success with this with a child who has had feeding issues/associations right from the start?

( I am aware that a part of DD's behaviour will be about power at her age but i dont think its all of it. She has bad reflux and a dairy intolerance as a baby and hated being fed, slow to wean (never would the the purees etc route ) etc. The dietician we see says that this early experience can affect their attitude to food at a fairly subconscious level (she is never interested in what we or other children eat and rarely asks for food).

So basically has anyone in with this kind of background really put their foot down about meals? I just cant see an end to it. The idea of her eating our food is just a dream!

thanks alot
alice

[jasperc163]

ps sorry meant to say - she is very slim and hasnt really gained any weight (500g) since last July. I think this makes it much harder to adopt the hardline approach (though i realise it may be needed). She doesnt have sweets/crisps or anything.

[Loganberry]

I'm watching your thread to find out what to do with my 4 yr old, we're in a similar situation! My ds2 will only eat rice, pasta, bread, cereal or snacks, and thats about it. He gets away with it because if he doesn't eat on a night, he'll be sick the next day, every time, without fail. He's ended up on a drip twice from dehydration from being sick so often, and the only advice we've got from the docs (after two years of seeing a specialist) was "feed him what he wants to eat!" And no, they still don't know what makes him like this!

With ds1 though, the "take it away" approach was very good!

[jasperc163]

meant to say - she HAD bad reflux as a baby, not now.

thanks Loganberry - sorry to hear you are in this boat too. DD has Neocate twice a day - first thing and last thing. So the problem is, even if she refuses tea, she has some 'milk' before bed. She is on this via the dietician to keep her vit/min and calcium intake up.

[sannie]

also watching as I we are heading this way with my 23 month old. He has also been sick recently but is ok now....he has only eaten proper food - 3 meals and snacks 1 day this week otherwise, he only wants to eat bananas. I am trying to put my foot down as well but it's hard to refuse food if they haven't had anything all day...

Would appreciate any words of wisdom from those who have been through this and come out the other side...

[squilly]

Hi there

I have a 7yo whose food range is so limited. I too have followed advice given on here to take away food when uneaten.

I've screamed and bullied her into eating stuff too, even though I felt like a major witch woman later. You just get to that stage where the thought of another sullen evening meal makes you want to scream!

At one point my daughter ate nothing but chicken nuggets and McDonalds chips. Now she eats nothing but pasta, peppers, cucumber, bread and cheese (occasionally) and rice krispies for breakfast.

She doesn't like food, doesn't have any interest in food and I worry that she's an eating disorder waiting to happen!

She's fit, physically and mentally and seems happy with her life, so there seems no point in seeing a nutritionist, though I daresay I will at some point...if things don't get better.

I'll keep an eye on this thread too, just in case anyone reveals the magic answer. I have a feeling they won't, but you never know what might help!!!

[phraedd]

my youngest (nearly 4) has always been hard work with food.

He has awful reflux for most of his 1st year and although he eats a good selection of food, he will only eat tiny amounts of anything.

I take his food away from him most days but it doesn't bother him in the slightest!

He doesn't snack between meals as he isn't hungry. Pudding is fruit or yogurt and he isnt even fussed if he gets that or not most days.

It is tricky but my LO sleeps well and has lots of energy so maybe he is just going to be tiny all of his life and have a very small appetite.

[mosschops30]

dear god I need more sleep I completely mis-read the thread title and thought dear god what has MN come to

[jasperc163]

Phraedd - your ds sounds similar (though more adventurous in that mine wont even try anything new). As you say, puddings etc arent much of an issue as they generally arent bothered.

I have just picked a book up in the bookshop - based on classes run by this woman (unfortunately nowhere near me!). The testimonials page is quite interesting - first one for example - bad refluxer with resulting negative associations - apparently turned around via these classes. Am going to have a good read anyway - its a different approach at least to the likes of Annabel Karmel with her recipies that of course DD has never touched as she doesnt know whats in them!
www.mangetoutkids.com

Anyone else come across this book?

[calamitycamp]

My ds is nearly sixteen he was (and still is) a really fussy eater. When he was a baby he also had reflux. When it was time to wean it just beacame a nightmare and I became really worried and anxious which, looking back now, made him worse. I had many trips to the GP who would remind me of the starving children in Africa etc. (Not helpful when your child eats about a mouthful a day). I also had the added burden of Grandparents who would give in to him and allow him to dictate what he was going to eat and when. However, he came to no harm and is a healthy young man now. His eating habits are still a pain but i have learnt to be more relaxed about it and he is eating like any other teenager now.

I now have a 20 month old dd who will eat for England. Although she does love a little choclate and cake, she eats fruit and veg like my ds would eat chocolate buttons.

Try to stick with the 'if they won't eat it take it away...' theory. Its much better to do this than have meal times turn in to a battle ground.

Goodluck

[sashasmama]

hi there

i too have a fairly fussy eater 2 year old. I have just started being a full time mum and she was at the childminders before this. Like most malaysians my childminder would indulge her - she never sat at the table there, and always had to be cajoled and played with and spoonfed before she would eat anything, and always in front of the telly. i have a lot less patience and as a result she used to practically eat nothing when she ate with me. now that i am a full time mum i guess i had better concentrate a bit harder so i dont end up starving the poor mite huh!

she did not have reflux but was a preemie in ICU for a while then had pretty chronic colic for about four months. But the thing is she ate wonderfully up to age one, then it just went downhill.

and btw i dont buy this annabel karmel thing of introducing as much variety as possible to make them less fussy. i did that in the beginning and slaved for hours making stews and gourmet stuff and now look at her, fussy as hell! my friend's dd who was fed nothing but porridge is now 2 and still oves the same staple food everyday and eats wonderfully. it all just depends on the child, and on your luck!

she has never slept thru the night and still wakes up once at night for her milk so i am a bit scared of doing the 'take it away' approach as i worry it will make her sleep worse!

but what i find is that she doesnt like complicated food like stews and grown up pasta sauces. she wants plain rice, plain pasta or pasta with a single ingredient like cheese, or plain pan fried fish / chicken with a dash of soy sauce. the soy sauce seems to be my secret weapon.

have you heard of the japanese word umami? it is the other 'taste' after salty, sweet, sour and bitter. it's a kind of appetising taste' (oh google it, i can't explain' but basically is highest in things like tomato puree, cheese, mushrooms and yeasty stuff like marmite and soy sauce. so i think that is why kids love cheesy food, tomato ketchup and (mine) soy sauce... maybe this umami approach to food will help?...

and anyway babies and children are spposed to have a lot lot more taste receptors in their mouth than we do, so that is why they are more sensitive to varyng tastes.. it's a leftover from the cavemen days and is meant to protect young cavekids from eating thing that may poison them...

so hopefully they will grow up, drop a few million taste receptors and everything will be hunky dory... in the meantime we can always moan on mumsnet!

[sashasmama]

oh and i forgot - umami is high in MSG, the stuff you find in crisps / nuggets etc - that's why kids love them?