Tantrums and violence! How to deal with it.

[lyndyloo]

My DD is 20 months and over past month or so is really getting into tantrums which we have dealt with by use of 'naughty step' though not calling it that. She accepts when she has done wrong and will sit on there for a minute until told to come off - so we are getting somewhere.

What really concerns me though is her violence! Especially to me - she can do this when she has tantrums (when doesn't want to get in buggy, or car seat, or have nappy changed etc etc etc...) but sometimes out of the ble, she will get a certain look in her eye and just scratch me, or hit me.

I THINK she does this when she is bored - to get a reaction. I suppose getting into conflict is better than boredom but tbh on my day off with her (on a Monday) she is hard work - we do a playgroup in the morning and go to the park sometimes in the afternoon but if she spends longer than an hour or so in the house, she just seems to exhaust all the stuff we can do and gets bored.

Any advice? Is this scratching and biting normal? Help!

[oops]

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[Mamazon]

if she hurts you then drop to her level look her in the eye and say "no" sternly.

if its normal tantrum type stuff just ignore ignore ignore.
when teh tantrum stops give her lots of praise, even if its just for sitting quietly.

be specific in your praise, rather than saying "ooh your being very good" say "your sitting really nicely, well done"

[lilQuidditchKel]

hmmm

i have the same problem with my 23 mo old boy and problem is he hits his sister - only 9mo old - which I can't ignore...so every time he "wins" my attention even if I'm only saying "no" or "gentle" or even putting him on the naughty spot seems to be a victory in his little mind...

good luck lyndyloo...

[caspercat]

Sorry to hijack, but similar problem with DD (20mths), except she does it to other toddlers at playgroup. She pushes, or does a lame 'slap', i think it's just her way of saying hello , but i feel as though if i ignore it, the other mums will think i'm letting her get away with it.
So unfortunately no advice, but empathy, and also lurking for any advice that may help us all....

[oops]

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[lilQuidditchKel]

i'd give anything for a glimpse into their little minds sometimes, as I'm almost certain my DS knows when he is being intentionally "naughty"!

As ever I guess it's just the boringly impossible solution - infinite amounts of patience - sigh.