Ds won't hug his daddy :(

[cuzziemummy]

ds is only 31/2 and is very huggy with me, his granny, au pair etc but not with daddy. This started a while back but it came to crunch point today when he said he didn't like him. His daddy is a workaholic and therefore often distracted from family life. Is this just a blip and normal behvaiour or are we looking at a problem? I am really worried ans upset about this.

[hercyulelog]

Is your dh concerned? If so perhaps he needs to spend quality one to one time with your ds to build the relationship if he wants spontaneous affection.

[cuzziemummy]

thanks hercyulelog - that is exactly what I have being trying to get dh to do but finding it difficult to pursuade him how important it is - any tips on pursuading him?

[OnZephyrstdayofXmas]

hiya - my dd is about to turn 3 and exactly the same with her dad. He's at work a lot and most of the time if he tries to hug her she'll push him off and say "No I dont want you" or uf he tries to do anything for her, or tells her off - anything really she gets in a strop but is fine with everyone else!!!

[TheHollyAndTheTwiglett]

Bonding takes work .. my DH was the same until he took over bath and bedtime when DS was 2 .. they now have a great bond

Tell him that when he's on his deathbed he won't look back and wish he'd spent more time in the office

remind how quickly this stage is over .. look how quickly the last 3.5 years have gone by

if you have to quote the lyrics to 'Cats in the Cradle' to him here .. cheesy I know

[TeaTime]

I followed my brother's example (Japanese wife, living in Japan) where the dad's job is to give the bath every day and suggested that dh do this (brother has 2 sons). He found it a bit stressful at first (so did I - had to stop myself lurking!) but letting him get on with it in his own way meant that a great bond developed between dh and ds. I'm sure that some kind of regular 'task' like this that they can do together makes bonding easier - but a tired-from-work daddy might need some persuading that it's worth the investment of time and effort - good luck!

[wheresmyturkey]

I give my dd her bath and put her to bed everynight that i can (occasionaly work late so is not possible) and we have a great bond, she will hug and go to me when upset! I wouldn't have it any other way! is there any way your dh can get home in time to do this sort of thing or is it impossible for him too get back from work in time?

[cuzziemummy]

thanks for all your help - dh is going to try and do more in the morning with him as he usually isn't back in time for bath - the great thing is that this blip has made him reassess his attitude etc. crossed fingers!

[TheHollyAndTheTwiglett]

as long as you let him take over one thing that becomes 'their' thing (without butting in and telling him how to do it) it'll be great

morning routine just as good as evening in my books

good luck