My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Which is the easier baby - boy or girl? If you could choose, would you?

40 replies

phlossie · 23/02/2008 15:09

A friend of my mum's had twin girls with her fourth pregnancy - sisters to 3 girls! Apparantly, in the haze of the drugs, hormones etc, she accused the doctor of cutting off her sons' willies!!!

That got me thinking: why do people (eg Victoria Beckham) get so het up about having the other sort to what they've got?

I have on of each (clever, eh??. For some reason I had decided that boys were easier babies than girls, so after a shaky, colicky start, have been really surprised by how delightful my dd (my youngest) is - especially how cuddly she is.

Obviously a lot is down to personality and birth order, but which do you think is easier, boy or girl? If you could choose, would you? And why? Do you think people should be allowed to choose?

OP posts:
Report
TheHonEnid · 23/02/2008 15:21

no I dont think people should be able to choose

FWIW I think gender differences arent as marked as people like to think.

BABIES are different, I think there is a load of rubbish spouted about boys like this and girls like this etc etc

I have three girls adn they are all different.

Report
Pinkchampagne · 23/02/2008 15:30

Never had a girl so can't compare the sexes, but have two boys who were totally different from birth onwards.

Report
msappropriate · 23/02/2008 15:34

yes I think gender is so overplayed. My 2 boys are so different, easy and hard in different ways.

Report
poodlepusher · 23/02/2008 16:46

I have one of each with a small age gap between. I wouldn't say one was easier than the other - but they are very different. I think that's down to both personality / character as well as gender.

Report
Ecmo · 23/02/2008 16:53

my girls were much easier as babies than the boys but the teenage years might prove to be very different!

Report
CarGirl · 23/02/2008 16:55

I have 4 dds as babies an toddlers they've all been completely different.

Report
needmorecoffee · 23/02/2008 16:56

My 2 boys were easy going but my 2 girls were crying anxious toddlers. The older 3 are now teens and the boys are still easy-going. dd1 is a highly strung self centered ball of hyper-energy still and dd2 (4) is the same, only quadraplegic.
I actually wanted all girls but didn't care when they were born so no, I wouldn't choose. Having dd who is brain damaged made me realise that it doesn't matter really.

Report
IndigoMoon · 23/02/2008 16:58

i have a girl and a boy and i think myself lucky for that. if i were to have another i think i would prefer a girl just cos dd was soooooooooooooooooooooo much easier than my little boy! he is very gorgeous and cute though.

they are very different though and i see big gender splits. i cannot compare how dd was at 15 months and how ds is cos the difference is immense. ds is much more spatially aware, very confident at walking, quite fearless with heights etc. dd was always very scared of things like that. dd was an excellent talker and ds is not so much and has a very limited vocab compared to dd at the same age. and one of ds words is poo poo!!!! he also is very adept at picking his nose. he is also much more cuddly though.

Report
Lulumama · 23/02/2008 17:01

I have a boy and a girl

no, poeple should not be allowed to choose, but htey can, they can go abroad and choose which embryo to have implanted, but i think it is a slippery slope. choosing to have a particular sex if the baby can provide a life saving treatment for a sibling is a different story, but still has its own ethical and moral issues.

I wanted a girl as i have a great relationship with my mum and hoped to have that with a daughter of my own, but would not have tried to choose, or do anything , we had a half hearted attempt at doing it at the 'right' time, but decided we jsut wanted a baby...

i have a friend who depserately , desperately wants a girl, and her mum always says to me, oooh, well done, that;s what we wanted, but we got another boy...

which is terribly unfair in front of her grandsons

my daughter was harder work than my son, but i went back to work when DS was 6 months old, so spent a lot less time with him., so it is really hard to judge...

they are both special, and wodnerful in their own way, and i love them equally and dearly.

Report
Troutpout · 23/02/2008 17:10

I have a boy and a girl
They were both easy or hard at different times. ds was a hard baby and an easy toddler, dd was an easier baby and a hard toddler.
No i don't think you should be able to choose
But i do think there is a marked gender difference.All babies are different yes...but i think there are things or behaviours which are particular to a boy and the same for a girl.
(in general)

Report
snorkle · 23/02/2008 17:22

It didn't matter to me what the gender of my children was but if I could have chosen, then at the time I would have chosen 2 the same, two girls for first choice, two boys for second and two different for third. I ended up with a ds followed by dd and couldn't contemplate swapping them for anything!! Obviously before people have had all their children they don't have the experience to know what they really want!

In any case, as others have said, the personality differences between individual children is huge and only very slightly influenced by their gender.

Report
lollipopmother · 23/02/2008 18:14

If pregnancy was different and you could choose the sex just by saying what you want then yes I'd choose a girl first, and then if I got pregnant again I wouldn't mind what I got, but as it is obviously there are issues to choosing because it means terminating the fetus if it's not as you'd want. But yes, if I could choose and it meant that I wasn't killing anything then yes I'd much prefer it, just because I feel much more prepared for a girl. Doesn't mean I wouldn't love the baby as much if it turned out to be a boy though, I just feel I might be better at relating to a girl.

Report
lollipopmother · 23/02/2008 18:17

Oh, and I don't really agree with doing the IVF thingy where you fertilise a number of eggs, grow them and then choose the embryo due to it's sex, but if you could fertilise an egg then say 'this one will be a girl' and it was, then I'd be all for it!

Report
Meandmyjoe · 23/02/2008 18:17

Wow, interesting thread. No I don't think people should be allowed to choose. I think you are blessed no matter what sex the baby is. I always think how awful it is when people get so hung upon what the baby's sex is. It's kind of like you are disappointed if it's the "wromg" sex. Like in China where hundreds of thousands of girls are abandoned or aborted. I only have one baby, a boy and he is anything but easy but I never wish that he was a girl! All babies are a miracle, regardless of gender.

And boys are just as capable as being awkward buggers as girls imo! I really wouldn't care what sex my next baby is (the next one will deffinitely be the last regardless of the sex!)

Report
phlossie · 23/02/2008 19:53

See I thought the same as you, lollipopmother, that I wanted a girl first - I have a great relationship with my mum, and just couldn't imagine having a boy. But, much to my surprise, I had a boy first. And he's amazing! So affectionate and cuddly - I now couldn't imagine it any other way.
I'm going to have a third, and don't mind what flavour (colic-free would be good). But maybe I'd feel differently if I had two boys?

OP posts:
Report
bozza · 23/02/2008 19:57

Well my DD was easier than my DS for the first6 months, but she has certainly compensated for it in the 3 and a bit years since. But my DS is a fairly easy child (once he got past the newborn colicky, wake-up-as-soon-as-he-touches-the-mattress stage), at the recent parent's evening his teacher described him as "well-balanced" - not like his mother then..... DD is much more highly strung.

Report
mollymawk · 23/02/2008 20:00

I have 2 DSs so have no idea about gender differences in children. However, I observe among my adult friends/relatives that on the whole the men have less fraught relationships with their mothers than the women. So I'm hoping for that when the DSs grow up!

Report
cory · 23/02/2008 20:34

I had one of each, and they were certainly different, but I think it's personality not gender. Dd was quite highly strung as a toddler, so I might start imagining that's a girl thing, except I know my brother was much more highly strung than me when we were little.

I thought I would find it easier to cope with a boy, as I had 3 brothers, but then dd was born- and I coped. And then ds was born and I coped with that.

Report
sweetkitty · 23/02/2008 20:37

Have 2 DDs are they are the total oppposite of each other in every way, I think personality has more to do with it than mere gender although never had a boy so can't compare.

Report
bb99 · 23/02/2008 20:58

I agree that all babies are different and you shouldn't get to choose.

I can understand why people can get hung up on the babies sex - had a late mc with pg 2 and lost a boy, followed up quickly with early mc (pg 3) and was DESPERATE to have a boy (OK, just a breathing and working baby would have been MORE than fine ) with pg4 - and was v.lucky to get my wish!

Am clever too and have one of each , but I do find myself agreeing that my boy is a bit more hard work - he also seemed much more lively when he was on the inside, but that could just be him as I don't have any other boys to compare him with. It could be birth order - he's the youngest (so far, tee hee) or the fact that I was 10+ years older when he finally turned up than when I had dd and I have found that a decade of hard work and partying have taken their toll (LOL)

Report
scottishmummy · 23/02/2008 21:05

would never chose because a baby is a precious gift.regardless of gender

Report
halogen · 23/02/2008 21:20

I just have one baby, a girl. Before she was born, I didn't care what I had and wanted to ultimately have at least one of each. It turned out to be quite hard to get pregnant so obviously I am delighted that I have a living breathing gorgeous baby at all. I hope to have another and have surprised myself by slightly wishing I would have another girl. I think it's because I love my daughter so much that I can't quite imagine what it would be like with a son. Totally irrational, of course, as whatever kind turns up next, he or she will be entirely different to my current baby!

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

annoyingdevil · 23/02/2008 21:58

How refreshing to see a thread where people agree that gender differences are overstated! My dd was an early walker, very spatially aware and forever climbimg. DS is a little slower and a bit more accident prone, but still a little daredevil.

Report
Sugarmagnolia · 24/02/2008 08:07

Of course gender differences aren't absolutes but as someone who has one of each I have got to say there is definitely something to it. For me, I think gender differences, combined with birth order and individual personality has given me:

DD, first born - stood and walked late, talked early. Always wanted a lot of attention as a baby, hated to just be left alone. Now loves ballet & ice skating (having tried the football thing!), quite creative, loves to draw and make up stories. She is extremely strong-willed to the point of being stubborn and outgoing and the mother-daughter relationship is a testing one.

DS, second child - I hate to say it but very typical second child and typical boy. He still is and always has been more physically demanding but easier-going emotionally. He crawled at 5 months and walked at 9. Although he did play with dolls as a toddler, from the time he could move he was fascinated by cars, trains, plains etc where his sister never took any notice of such things. He is funny, laid back and MUCH less likely to pick a fight with me and having tried the ice skating thing he has chosen football. The only thing about him that is not ?typically? male is that like his sister he had great language skill from a pretty early age and they both adore books.

And, now of course people shouldn't be able to choose.

Report
Sugarmagnolia · 24/02/2008 08:08

Oh, also forgot to say, DS was also so good at entertaining himself as a tiny baby he used to wriggle his legs in his car seat to rock himself to sleep! Talk about easy-going 2nd child.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.