Help - My toddler is nagging me!

[snotbuster]

DS (2.3) speaks fairly well for his age, using sentences now. Unfortunately this has recently led to him nagging me, sometimes for hours at a time, and usually with demands that begin with "I want..". It can be "I want chocolate Mummy" or "I want Grandad Mummy". Always something he's not allowed or can't have at that time.
Have tried explaining, ignoring and (in desperation) saying "Mummy is going to scream if you ask me that one more time", all to no avail. It's definately worse when we're at home but he also does it in the car. On the plus side he's having less tantrums but this feels like a slower kind of torture.
Could someone please tell me that this too will pass?

[oops]

Message withdrawn

[soph28]

I have had this too- normal toddler behaviour from good talkers (if they can't talk so well they will just scream/cry instead)

It does drive me mad. I have used the naughty step- 'if you ask me again I'll put you on the naughty step' and it works.

Just wait for the next phase- ds now 2.8yrs has moved on to setting his own conditions for things which makes my job quite hard i.e. can I have a biscuit?
No.
If I eat all my lunch, then I can have a biscuit.
can we go to the park?
Not now
Once I have had my nap, then we can go to the park

etc etc etc

problem is he is always fair and logical and I would probably have said the same mysef if he hadn't got there first but obviously can't let him dictate the rules etc.

He also does 'mummy, you forgot your bag'
'mummy, remember to bring the wipes'
'mummy, have you got Chloe's drink?'
etc

[HonoriaGlossop]

this too will pass

First i would say now is the time to really, really pick your battles and examine whether you really have to say no to something. nothing worse than a child going on and on and on for something you've said they can't have, then feeling "oh FGS I wish I'd said yes, it's only a biscuit/chocolate/whatever and now I can't back down".....

Now is also the time to get very very chatty. Keep up a running commentary, comment on anything and everything and generally get a bad case of verbal diarrhoea...many children are like nature, they abhore a vacuum, and try to fill it - in this case, if no-one is speaking, they will fill any and all silences by talking

I think kids can be jollied along out of this too, if he's saying "I want chocolate" you could try "oh, yes DS and I want a HUGE glass of wine, and it's got to be cold, and there's got to be a nice crystal glass......" etc etc etc. You don't have to take all that he says seriously. Make it fun and get more and more extreme "I want a house made of chocolate and first of all I'd eat the front door" etc etc etc

HTH?

[littleboo]

Yes have this with 3 yr old ds2 - infact - locked myself in toilet today , he was at the door going mummy can I...... mummy is it..... mummy what.......and i just sat there going oh f.... off, f....off TO MYSELF QUIETLY you understand not loudly at him, cos it was just really really winding me up.( i know that sounds really bad, but it wasn't meant in a horrible way)

[snotbuster]

Thank-you all. Honoria - maybe your vacuum theory is correct, I'm quite quiet compared to DS who's seems to have inherited a chatty gene from somewhere! Littleboo, have hid in the kitchen doing similar almost silent swearing a few times recently.
Wondered if it was 'normal' apart from anything else. I used to be proud that he could talk so well.....

[cory]

As Honoria says, this too, will pass. One day you will have a silent teenager on your hands, who communicates in surly grunts if at all. Then you'll long for the days of innocent prattle. But I agree, it does drive you up the wall. Maybe put on some music? Sing to yourself?
IME children sometimes do this to check that their parents are still there for them and can cope. So if you respond with silence or tell them to shut up or you'll scream, you then prove to them that their fears were justified. So they get more anxious to assure themselves that you are there for them, and will prattle more. They're like baby birds.
My ds still has traces of this at 7, but I have learnt by now that I can head off his worst excesses by responding enthusiastically at first. Then after he's been reassured, it can be easier to distract him and get him to do something else. Not that I always feel like it, but if it heads off hours of mindless babble...
This doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with the child, it is very common.

[snotbuster]

Thanks Cory, prattle is nice but it's more of a mantra:"I want chocolate, I want chocolate, I want chocolate MUMMY" and on and on for up to an hour sometimes (he very rarely has chocolate). I'm sure it's about attention but sometimes I have to do things (eg cook, wash up, use the loo) and I'm a lone parent so there's no one else here to distract/play with him then. He has also started to want to be carried/picked up a lot (especially when I'm cooking or something). It's like he's got separation anxiety again.

[cory]

IME separation anxiety comes and goes and some children are more prone to it than others.
It is very tiring, particularly if you're on your own, and I haven't got much to suggest other than letting him join in as much as you can (maybe rinse the non-breakables for you) or do some pretend cooking in his own pot and pan next you.
But I do realise that this doesn't solve the major problem, which is those times when you are simply to tired to do all the lovely enthusiastic responding.
All I can say is: It does get better! It will!

[snotbuster]

Thank-you..