I did a terrible thing...

[mum2GoogsandGoo]

3yo who is partly potty trained (can do no. 1's, but not so hot with no.2's) lost her temper with me and weed all over my floor when I kept her out of the room so she & I could have some time-out

This is not the 1st time she has done this and so I slapped her bottom ...

[Disenchanted]

Are you kidding?

You think shes pee'd herself to get at you?

Then you smacked her?

[Twiglett]

and how do you feel about it now?

[welshmum]

When she's gone to bed go somewhere quiet, reflect on the day, where it went wrong and why, decide what you don't want to happen again, make a strategy to deal with escalation. Do it.
Potty training is hard work and dispiriting, smacking is so not the right approach and you know that.
Good luck

[OverMyDeadBody]

that's what I thought disenchanted

A slap on the bottom will really teach her then won't it! Was it bare?

[BeeEm]

Ask yourself - did it work? if it didn't you'll feel guilty forever and she'll have forgotten it by now. If it did - then you'll still feel guilty forever and she won't do it again.
(not justifying smacking but lord knows sometimes some of us have done just that and yes the guilt hangs around forever)

[Othersideofthechannel]

Disenchanted, the op didn't say the wee was deliberate and vengeful.
I assumed she meant the child had an accident because she was overwrought. Like just toilet trained children have accidents when they fall over and hurt themselves.

[Hecate]

Ok. you smacked her, your thread title clearly says that you know you did the wrong thing, fwiw, I agree - you did. But what you need to do now is plan how you are going to act in the future.

She's probably not weeing to get at you, she's probably getting angry and not controling her bladder due to her anger and the fact she's only 3!

She's a toddler, so she gets to have tantrums. You are the grown up, so you get to remain calm and deal with them rationally (you drew the short straw!)

Time out where you have to be right there is also attention, so you might like to rethink that and look for something that means she gets no attention at all.

[BecauseImWorthIt]

Parenting is hard work, not just potty training.

I'm long since out of the early days, but I did smack my children - and hated myself for it every time.

It isn't the answer, but it's about finding strategies that will work for you, and thinking about them in advance.

Time Out from each other is a very good one - but in future, put her somewhere where she can do a wee without it causing problems!

Take heart that you are not alone - despite the sanctimonious responses that you have had/will get. None of us is perfect.

[Othersideofthechannel]

Hecate you worded it so much better than me

[OverMyDeadBody]

my first post was a bit too abrupt I think, sorry, I guess you know it wasn't the right way to react as you described it as a terrible thing.

Ok, deep breath, next time you feel like this might happen remember that she is only 3, and you are the grown up. Walk away, count to ten, and don't see her weeing as 'trying to get at you', just see it as a normal bodily function that happens sometimes, and she doesn't always have control over it.

If she was already upset (you mentioned having time out already) she would have had less control anyway. Give her a hug and have a cup of tea.

[mum2GoogsandGoo]

Not my proudest parenting moment at all and pretty inexcusable... perhaps a time-out for mum is the way forward...

[BecauseImWorthIt]

Go and sit on the naughty step!

[Hecate]

Actually yes.

You do need a time out.

It's GREAT for calming yourself down.

When you feel yourself boiling over, lock yourself in the loo for a minute, splash your face with water, take a few deep breaths and say This Too Will Pass.

When I started to feel frustrated and angry, I used to pop mine into the playpen and go into another room. Or into their cot and go downstairs and turn the radio on full blast for a minute.

That interruption can really make a difference.

[mum2GoogsandGoo]

To make me feel even worse, she has just revisited the crime scene , said 'mummy cross' and is now dancing around the living room....

[Othersideofthechannel]

Sounds like you are forgiven