4 year old talks to me like I'm a moron!!

[pops79]

Calling all mumsnetters for help..My lovely, sweet little boy went off to school in September and somewhere along the way was replaced by a sulky, moody, back talking, nagging nightmare! Has anyone else experienced something similar? All of his previously fantastic manners have gone out of the window, and he quite often speaks to me like I am some sort of slave.
He seems to veer between acting like a clingy, super sensitive baby and like a teenager who can't wait to leave home. Is this normal? Help!!! Where has my little boy gone?

[edam]

Ah yes, ds is going through that stage atm - having started school a few weeks ago. Do you mean it lasts beyond the first half-term? Nooooooo ... I was hoping it would wear off

[edam]

Oh, I also think it's because they are having to behave all day so all those feelings they've had to hold onto all day come rushing out once they get home...

[mezzer]

"They" say that kids misbehave more with parents as they know that you will still love them in the morning. At least you can see it as a sign that he is secure in your love... Not sure that helps but...

[saadia]

This is exactly what happened with ds1 when he started school, you just have to get through it I'm afraid. I would suggest that you give him a snack as soon as he gets home and let him relax, do not make any demands of him and when he is rude either ignore him or say calmly that if he wants something he needs to ask nicely.He's probably tired and stressed and so many things happen at school that they find hard to process.

[pops79]

Thank you so much..I feel so relieved just reading your messages. I also had the feeling that he is holding his energy in all day, so that when he gets home he just needs a release. At least that's what it feels like, because it is almost as though he can't control it. I'm pretty good at calmly correcting him and ignoring him also does the trick, but sometimes I'm just thinking "please give me a break, be nice to Mummy!" His father is away working a lot at the moment, and he doesn't dare behave like that with him, so I can't help but thinking that he is making the most of the 'softer' parent while he can. Any idea at what age he will grow out of this? Please tell me he will!

[kbaby]

Same thing here and DD started nursery in September. She seems to enjoy back chat and says things like 'I will throw this now' so she obv knows what she is doing and seems to be waiting for a reaction.

I thought the terrible twos had returned but with more attitue!!

[pinkpeanut]

My ds is exactly like this after starting school! He is so full of attitude, but it makes me laugh when he is trying to be really cheeky!

What things do your lo's say? Mine says "mum, if you dont get it, forget it!!"

[Elephantsbreath]

Kids learn stuff from other kids I think and from the careful environment of home and nursery it seems behaviour quickly goes bananas.

"If you don't get it, forget it!" comes from the cbeebies Space Pirate and is very popular refrain with ds and pals.

I'm in similar pos to you pop79 and am hunting about the house for that 'How to talk..' book everyone on here loves.

[discoverlife]

Give him a snack when he comes in and encorage him to do some exercise, running around, football, trampoline, anything to let him discharge that excess energy. He may seem lethargic but a good run around will work wonders (havn't you ever done some exercise when you feel like saying , sod it, and found afterwards that you feel better? Then make sure he is getting plenty of sleep.

[VictorianSqualor]

I just read that as 'Give him a smack when he comes in' on Last15minutes!

[discoverlife]

LOL

[Elephantsbreath]

good point discoverlife. Dp has instigated his own form of 'time out' consisting of jumping on the trampoline, encouraging him to shout and sing and punch pillows, when ds is het up, cross etc.

ds mood definately lovelier afterwoods (though now demanding Time Out every half hour )

[thinner]

My DS, now in second term reception class is exactly the same. One day he's screaming the school dawn because he doesnt want to go, the next he's shouting at me because he cant get his own way. His favorite is "You're not in charge I am. I'm not talking to you anymore you're not my friend". He is just so angry all the time. A friend told me boys at this age (4-5) go through their first testosterone surge. Anyone know if thats correct? Would explain a lot!