feeling bad about sending my 6month old to day nursery

[stellyp]

Hello mums...hope you are all well. I just wanted some advice really from all the working mums who have their child/children in nursery. How did you cope? In a couple of weeks my LO is going to nursery and im very scared about the whole thing...

[TiddlerTiddler]

The first few weeks are the worst. And I found it very upsetting. Mine was 11 months, so a bit older (probably made it worse)

I found the drop offs very upsetting.

Not sure what advice I can give apart from letting you know that it does get better after a few weeks.

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

StellyP, both of mine loved it!
We were lucky because we had a nursery we were happy with, where the care was at least as good as I was giving them at home (bearing in mind that though they had more babies per person, they didn't have to do the housework at the same time). It was evident from early on in both cases that the children enjoyed the stimulation of having other babies around to watch. They were not short of cuddles and it was a lovely calm environment.
If you are not happy with the nursery, I can see it would be more of a wrench. However, for a few months we had to send ours to a different not-so-good nursery as our usual one (because we were away from home) and it actually had less impact on my younger child (who was 10 months then).

You should, if possible, get to spend some time their with your child prior to starting properly, so you can see what his/her routine will be and start to get used to the idea a bit more.

In general though, I think you can think of a good nursery as a positive addition to your child's life, rather than a negative thing

[herbgarden]

Be brave ! It's hard and I cried the first few times but a year on and I can honestly say I only feel a bit tearful if I know he is slightly under the weather and could probably do with a few more cuddles than normal....but....when I go and get him, he's all smiles and looks knackered and happy.

If you're happy with the nursery then once you get over the initial shock you'll probably find it gets easier. - talk through anything you're unhappy with as it will only niggle you. I've only had a few things but they've been sorted really quickly.

I think it's almost harder when they are younger than when they get a bit older when my ds for eg is really enjoying the interaction, the stuff they do etc (he's only 18 months). I like the fact that the 2 days he's in there he does loads of fun things and then when he's at home with me it's the usual dross of domestic chores mixed with outdoor trips to the park and coffee with friends....

Don't worry !!

[Looby34]

Stelly - I understand your concerns but try and think about it as a positive experience for your lo rather than a negative one. My dd started going when she was 11 months - so a bit older than yours but I knew she would come to love it and developmentally I think it is a positive thing. She sees other kids doing things and she wants to do them - like drinking out of a cup for example. My dd moves up a class soon and I'm pretty sure once she sees the other kids sitting on the potty, she'll be into it big time. My top tip is try not to get upset in front of you lo and if she gets upset when you take her in, try not to hang about too long as this prolongs the agony. My dd cried only this morning and I might sound like a stoney hearted woman but I kissed her, told her to have a nice day and that I'd be back later - and left. I know she is fine once I go, so the quicker I go the better. Good luck xx

[ChipButty]

It is heart-breaking to leave your child and this just shows how much you love her/him. What you are doing will benefit her/him so much, though: Both of our children started nursery 3 days a week from 5 and 7 months old. They are fabulous children of 2 and 5 now: Well socialised and developed and I can give them the quality time they deserve and also provide well for them. I'm rambling...I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel and that it does get easier. Take care xx

[evenhope]

Mine has been going 2 days a week for the last 3 weeks. She was 9 months and very very clingy when she started and I was worried sick. She did 4 settling in sessions of 1-2 hours at a time and always seemed a bit tearful when I picked her up, but at the end of her first full day she was happy and singing. As we walked into nursery on day 2 she got all excited and wanting to get down to play with the toys, and wouldn't even look at me when I said goodbye

It is so much easier to leave them once you know they are happy.

Good luck.

[scully]

Stellp, it is hard, what you're feeling is so normal. dd1 started going to nursery 4 days a week when she was 9mths old, and I struggled for the first few months tbh. Was happy with the nursery, but just wasn't happy about going back to work or leaving her with anyone other than me. She settled in well though and I think going to nursery did her the world of good in terms of socialation and what she learnt there (she is now 5.5yrs). I found it much easier with dd2, who started going 3 days a week at 18mths old. She was very clingy and took a few mths to settle in but now enjoys it. I was very ready for her to go so the guilt wasn't there so much I think the difference was their ages, dd2 was walking, talking and out of the baby stage, whereas dd1 wasn't and I felt very guilty about that. As long as you are happy with the nursery, then you will get used to it, and will see the benefits as your dc settles in and makes friends. Good luck

[ceebee74]

StellP - just wanted to share my experience with you.

My DS started at nursery 3 days a week exactly 12 months ago - he was 6.5 months. Prior to that, we had had 6 settling sessions starting at 1 hour upto 4 hours and he had been absolutely fine with no tears - however on that first proper day when I dropped him off, I cried pretty much all the way to work (he didn't cry!), sat at work all day worrying about him and missing him SO much and counting down the hours until I could go and get him - and......he was absolutely fine - and has been from that day.

12 months on, he absolutely loves it, he runs in without a backward glance to me and he loves being with other children - so I have found it really positive. Also the stimulation/activities he gets there is far more than he ever gets at home as they do all sorts of different stuff that I wouldn't even think of.

I know it is easy for me to say that now as I felt just like you 12 months ago - but it does get easier and now both me and DS look forward to the 3 days when he is at nursery and I am at work.

[stellyp]

Sorry it's taken me this long to write back If you all read this then I would like to say a BIG THANKS for all you advice...my LO and i have started the settling in sessions, the first day was the worst day of my life even though i was only leaving her there for 1hr!!
We are on day 3 now, and we have built up the time she stays there and I think she is getting used to it. She just sits there and stares at the other babies in amazement...
It is a good nursery and as long as she's happy...then I will be too!
Thanks again
xx

[Wendyjayb]

Glad she's settled in. My ds was 6 months when he started and now almost 2 years on he's still there and we even have a few tears at the weekend and he can't see his beloved Louis (girlfriend)