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Behaviour/development

Dd WON'T wear trousers

21 replies

Moomin · 28/11/2004 11:48

Dd is three and recently has become obsessed with princesses, fairies, pink, blah blah blah, I'm sure you get the picture. Except now she is point blank refusing to wear trousers; it has to be a skirt or dress. She won't even wear pyjamas; it has to be a nightie.
Up to last week I was sometimes being very forceful and making her wear trousers/pjs and she was moaning for the first 10 mins and then was ok. For the last 2 or 3 days though she has been a nightmare. I made her wear pjs the other night and was quite pleased with myself for getting 'my' way but this was followed by her crying for half an hour and kept asking 'can i have a nightie, can i have a nightie' non-stop. The first thing she said on waking was 'can i have my nightie on now?' !

This morning dh and I tried to talk to her about wearing trousers and as soon as she heard where the conversation was going she got very upset and kept saying 'i don't want trousers' over and over. We said that we'd have to put a sad face on her chart if she wore a skirt after we'd said no, and she cheered up no end and said 'can i have my skirt on now please?' (the sad face threat does the trick for everything else apart from this!)
is it really that big a deal? I'm annoyed that she has some lovely trousers just sitting there in the drawer and think on one hand that she's ruling the roost and getting her own way by tantrumming. Dh has also pointed out, however, that she's a generally very good girl and she's not being deliberately naughty; she actually said that she needed to be a princess and couldn't do that if she had trousers on, so in her 3 years old reasoning, that's a good enough reason.
Any thoughts?

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clairabelle · 28/11/2004 11:51

My dd did this and to some extent still does, she is a real girlie girl. We regularly have tantrums re nighties V PJs. I just give in I'm afraid.

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KBear · 28/11/2004 12:40

My DD is nearly 6 and still the same - she likes skirts and pretty tights. I just buy nighties and skirts now. I, on the other hand, just wear trousers, never skirts. Each to their own. Not worth a big fight in my opinion.

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Tissy · 28/11/2004 12:47

my dd is the same, but has condescended to wear Barbie pyjamas and trousers! Maybe you could break her back in gently!

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enid · 28/11/2004 14:10

mine does this (she is 5). I have insisted that she wears trousers to go on walks in the cold weather and she will do this as long as she can change back immediately she gets home.

You will never win!

Just buy lots of pretty pairs of tights.

You'll miss this when they grow up and refuse to take their jeans off I am sure

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beetroot · 28/11/2004 14:12

This reply has been deleted

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WigWamBam · 29/11/2004 09:05

After always maintaining that "I don't do trousers", my dd has recently become obsessed with skirts - I think it's because she's seen other little girls (and her teacher, who she idolises) wearing them. She also refuses to wear trousers, even in the coldest weather. I don't believe this is naughty, or that she's ruling the roost; she is simply expressing her preference just as you do every morning when you decide what to wear. We haven't allowed this to turn into a power struggle; we have bought some cheap skirts and a whole stack of pretty tights (which dd is also obsessed with) and have accepted that this is really no big deal.

It surprises me that you would want to punish your dd with sad faces for wanting to wear skirts, she's only 3 and is beginning to want to express her own individuality. She really isn't being naughty.

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Hulababy · 29/11/2004 09:10

I like to see little girls in skirts and pinafores with tights under, teamed with a pair of boots.

DD (2.5yo) will wear trousers - providing they are pink or in someway girly, but prefers skirts and dresses. So we just team them with thick tights. DD is also obsessed by Princesses, so her favourite tights are her Disney Princess ones. Got them for £6 (for 2 pairs) in BHS - one has Snow White on, the other Sleeping Beauty.

There are some lovely girl's tights around in all manner of colours and designs, and I think tights are skirts are just as warm as a pair of trousers.

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marialuisa · 29/11/2004 09:23

Just give in for now. My DD will wear trousers but if I ask she'll always go for a skirt/dress. TBH I think it's quite cute as she gets to show off her rather cool winter boots.

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handlemecarefully · 29/11/2004 09:52

Not worth the aggro - let her wear what she wants as long as she is warm. Kids, even little kids, should be allowed some autonomy.....

PS my dd won't wear skirts and tights but only trousers. She too has some lovely skirts and dresses which are sitting doing nothing in her wardrobe which is frustrating. But in the scale of things not that important don't you agree?

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Moomin · 29/11/2004 16:27

that's all i was after - confirmation that it's not worth the aggro. Tights and skirts it is then!
i'm a bit upset at the implied criticism from wigwambam - the sad face would have been for the refusal to do as she was asked, which is one of her targets most weeks. When i said that to her i wanted to see how far she was willing to take it. usually she backs down with that threat; on this subject she wouldn't, which obviously shows that it means a lot to her. I didn't carry it through when i saw how upset she was and how much she connects skirts and dresses with her personality and 'her world' at the moment. All i wanted was to see if, at 3, people thought dd had the right to choose her clothes or whether we had the right to overrule her, give that she has about £100-worth of trousers/jeans/pyjamas for age 3 gathering dust in the cupboard at the moment!

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WigWamBam · 29/11/2004 16:31

I keep right away from all the contentious stuff and still end up upsetting people! I'm sorry you saw criticism in my post, Marina, there was none intended, none impled, and I certainly wouldn't have said anything with a view to hurting you.

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Moomin · 29/11/2004 16:34

no probs, wigwambam (it was me you were posting to, wasn't it? you said marina!) sorry for being sensitive. I think was actually a bit annoyed with myself for being such a bitch to dd when i saw everyone's replies. sorry! your opinion is very welcome.

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WigWamBam · 29/11/2004 16:39

Sorry, of course I meant Moomin (sleep deprived brain in action, I'm afraid) .

For what it's worth, I don't think you've been a bitch; I also tried to get dd to wear trousers as well as skirts as we had been out and spent a fortune on her winter wardrobe (all trousers) just three days before she decided she was never wearing a skirt again ... however, it obviously means so much to my dd that we decided not to push it, and hope that she'll become a little less obsessed if we take the pressure off her. There's nothing can dig its heels in quite like a 3 year old ...!

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WigWamBam · 29/11/2004 16:39

I mean never wearing trousers again - told you my brain was addled.

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Moomin · 29/11/2004 16:44

it's so funny - i've just remembered: she will wear trousers on a Tuesday, as this is the day she goes to her childminder who has just had her floor laid so it's very slippy and all of the kids have to wear slipper socks with grips on them. Dd agreed to this last week as she could understand the reason. I spose she just won't choose trousers over skirts where she can see no real reason to. Fair enough i spose!

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spacemonkey · 29/11/2004 16:44

Is this actually a problem? What's wrong with letting her wear skirts all the time if she wants to? Before you know it she'll be 13 (like my dd) and wearing shapeless jeans and slouching around in a most unprincesslike fashion. Just enjoy it!

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crunchie · 29/11/2004 16:46

My dd is the same, although not quite to the extent of no pj's. She has loads of trs all pink and some glittery too, but I just give up. I only insist on them when it would be a danger if she didn't (we go to ski-ing lessons etc)

My annoyance is when she not only HAS to wear a skirt but she won't wear the Tshirt/tights combo I picked out and has to rechoose her own.

Nowadays I let her choose her own clothes

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Frizbe · 29/11/2004 16:48

How's about a letter from the fairy queen explaining why she needs to wear her pyjama bottoms?

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Hulababy · 29/11/2004 17:05

Missed the PJ bit. 2.5yo DD never wears PJs, despite forever kicking her covers off. I figure at her age she also knows how to pull covers up again if she needs to. I just put her in her nightie and under her duvet, and she seems fine.

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cupcakes · 29/11/2004 17:16

It's funny how young they are when girls start expressing a preference for certain clothes. My ds is 4½ and has only just started noticing what he is clad in. My dd however informed me in no uncertain terms that she refused to wear any style of dungarees at age one. She is now 21 months and has real opinions about these things - and yes, she prefers her nightie to her pyjamas...

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Frizbe · 29/11/2004 17:18

you've got a point cupcakes! My dd is nearly 13mths and she's started picking her clothes out of the drawer in the morning, putting back in what I choose if she doesn't like it....still wearing trousers at the mo, tho sure that will change....

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