How do I prepare my 2 year old for a new arrival?

[Redley]

I am concerned as i know he will be very jealous. When i hold the babies of friends he screams and tries to hit the baby. he won't even share my lap.
Any advice welcome. x

[HonoriaGlossop]

I only have one so I'm sure someone better placed will be along soon, I just wanted to say that I have read on here before that some people have found it really helpful not to try to 'make' the child love the baby. They've said it's good to acknowledge to your older one that sometimes the baby is a pain and the crying is irritating, and that you understand they are sometimes cross about the baby's demands.

Obviously you need to try to build a bond as well but to me it seems sensible that acknowledging that you know how the child is feeling, is going to help.

Friends have said that after a few weeks when the baby is smiling, that they make a big thing of pointing out how the baby smiles at the older one, and say "oh look the baby really loves you" etc etc.

[Sunshine78]

This sounds just like how my ds was before dd was born. It wasn't easy as he is known to lash out at his sister from time to time but most of the time he is very protective of her. All we did was to encourage ds to be involved as much or as little as he wanted (he was 2.5 when dd arrived)I have always encouraged ds to show affection to dd but never pushed it if he doesn't want ot give a night night kiss fopr example. and even now when dd has a nap I make an effort to do something with ds ie painting/games/baking so he still feels he has his mummy.

I want pretend it was or is easy to get children to except another sibling you just have to try to do your best and stay sane!

[jellyrolly]

When my ds2 came along, I forced myself not to react when ds1 went near him and gave him the opportunity to be gentle rather than assuming he would clobber him. They are 4 months and 2yrs (birthday yesterday). It was really hard to not go "GENTLY!!!" every time he went near him but the lack of reaction has made him quite blase about those forays into the fontanelle. Obviously I was watching them like a hawk but just gently moving his hand away if necessary.

Also we got a bath chair for the baby so they can go in together and ds1 helps to wash his feet and tummy which he likes.

When ds1 threw a fit I just explained that I was feeding the baby and would do [....whatever] in a minute.

Generally they get along really well and ds1 is very sweet with him. It's lovely having two - of course bloody hard work but you know about that already with one! Good luck x