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Behaviour/development

Help - My ds does'nt play !!!!!

11 replies

yorkiemom · 04/01/2008 09:05

My ds (3.4) does'nt play with anything.This has really become more apparent after christmas.
He has never really played with toys, as such but this is really starting to worry me.
I really thought hard about his Christmas presents, and picked things which I thought would interest him. It is'nt so much that he does'nt play with them for long, its the fact that he does his best to destruct them within minutes, throwing and smashing them around.
Has anyone else had this problem, is it a boy thing, or his age, or am I dong something wrong ???
Any help/advise most welcome.
Thanks.

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GloriaInEleusis · 04/01/2008 09:13

Have you talked to your HV or GP about it? Does he go to some kind of day care (i.e. nursery) and if so have they expressed any concerns? Do other kids at the nursery behave this way?

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tortoiseSHELL · 04/01/2008 09:15

Does he engage in anything? Or does he just not 'play'. Have you got any other concerns at all (speech etc?).

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yorkiemom · 04/01/2008 10:02

He doeas go to pre-school, and is like a different child there, behaves very well. I am going to speak to them on monday though about this and see what they say.
He will sit at the computer for hours (if I'd let him !!) playing on cbeebies, playhouse disney etc, and is a real whizz.
If I sit with him and play he will play quiet well, but if left alone - no chance for long. He seems to have a really low attention span.
He does have delayed speech, and was last assessed in October, and is about six months behind now. His speech is really coming along well now, i am really pleased. His salt did mention that when he was assessed at pre-school this has affected his development, and it is delayed.I'm not sure if this is something that,like his speech, will come in time, or if any mums out there have any tips !!!!!
Thanks for your responses x

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yurt1 · 04/01/2008 10:05

I'd recommend Baby Talk by Sallly Ward ( don't worry it will still be suitable). Cheap book, lots of tips on play and speech development and things you can do in half an hour at home.

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tortoiseSHELL · 04/01/2008 10:10

That sounds encouraging! Does he play at pre-school, or sit quietly? Sometimes I think they save all their difficult behaviour for home - ds1 certainly did when he was in reception - he was an angel at school, and a nightmare at home.

How do you feel about him? Do you think it is a 'problem' or something he'll grow out of? (Sorry to sound patronising!). I only ask because I think parents often instinctively 'know' when something isn't quite right.

Could you try starting a game, then letting him continue? Maybe, set a scenario up with something like playmobil - say 'the pirates are on a secret island, I wonder where the treasure is' and let him take it from there?

The other thing we do with the kids that they love that MIGHT work with your ds is to make films - we've got a video camera, and we get them to make up a story with the toys, then act it out while we film it, which focuses them on the toys, and they know they can watch it afterwards.

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juuule · 04/01/2008 10:13

"He will sit at the computer for hours" doesn't sound like someone with a short attention span
Perhaps he just needs to find something that he is interested in or wants to join in with things.

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yorkiemom · 04/01/2008 11:05

Thanks folks !!
I will look for that book on amazon yurt.
Tortoiseshell, thats a really good idea, my dh brought me a camcorder for christmas.I don't think there is something "wrong" all the time just at home !!!! He is an angel at pre-school (well sort of !!) and joined in the christmas play singing and sitting well brilliantly, I was really proud.
Its just at home he sort of goes crazy !!!!
Thanks juuule, perhaps I am just worrying.My dh says that he just needs to be really interested in something, like cbeebies !!!
Thanks again everyone, it just drives me crazy when he starts smashing toys up, and throwing them around !!!
Perhaps he will be into demolition when he's older !!!

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differentYearbutthesamecack · 04/01/2008 11:27

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GloriaInEleusis · 04/01/2008 11:47

Actually, my DD (5 in MArch) is also a bit like this. They are sending books home for her to read and it's a joke. She hates it. I have to bargain with her to try and sound out just one word and that's all she'll do. But, let her choose a toy to play with and she'll do it for ages.

Although, I have to admit I am no fan of reading myself. So perhaps this traight was inherited.

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rosmerta · 04/01/2008 12:16

Is he very active, does he like running around? My ds gets bored if we're at home a lot, he will play with his toys for a little while and then gets fed up. The only answer is to take him to the park or some play centre and let him work off his energy a bit.

If the weather's bad or something, I also found he liked making dens & tunnels.

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yorkiemom · 04/01/2008 15:31

Thanks everyone, it feels better just to know its not just your lo's who are like this!!!
We have just come back from the park where he had a great time.
I agree with you rosmerta he sometimes needs to run off some excess energy !!(if only I had a fraction !!).
It just sometimes you see friends children playing beautifully, and wish why can't mine do that??
I sopose I should'nt moan some people have much worse problems .
Thanks everyone x