Answering back at 2.2 yrs!! Never expected the strops at such an early age!

[mammabelleboo]

My 2.2 yo dd has always been quite demanding. As a baby she was not easy - very demanding, needed constant attention, not easy to put down etc. As a result, she has always had a lot of attention from me.

She started to talk at about 15 months and amazed us all in that within a few months you could almost hold a conversation with her. She just seemed to absorb words and her sentence construction at this age is amazing. At about 18 months she was coming out with stuff like 'It's not dark now, sun's out and moon's gone to bed' - i had been describing the difference between night and day and she picked it up really quickly. people often comment on how well she speaks and at nursery they told me that there are a lot of pre-schoolers who can't speak as well as she can.

However, this does have its downside. The terrible 2's kicked in ages ago and stroppiness is part of our normal day - I find it hard to deal with as i think a lot of her bad behaviour is bourne out of her maybe being a little advanced for her age, but still obviously being very immature still in that she can't cope well with the discipline that her bad behaviour makes me dish out.

Today, I asked her to pick up a set of snap cards that she'd strewn all over the lounge only for her to turn round to me and say 'No, you pick them up, not me!' This type of response has been forthcoming a lot lately, but today i got really angry with her as she just wouldn't pick them up so she went into her cot for time out, which made her bawl the house down. Is this normal behaviour for a child who is barely 2?

PS This post sounds a bit 'isn't my lo so clever' - purely just want to know if there are any other little ones at this age doing this type of thing. How do you deal with it? Feel bad for coming down on her like a tonne of bricks for answering me back as she is only 2 - but I can't let her get away with it, can I? If I do, what type of a prescedent am I setting for her?

[Gursky]

Sounds about right to me. My DS is not nearly so verbal, but I still get the message when he strops (he was 2 in Sept).

Does it mean you get less hitting and more back talking? I think because he cannot communicate his frustration verbally, DS frequently hits and bites me when having a tantrum.

[lizandlulu]

my dd is the same age and has the same temper. however she cant speak very well. just this week she has started to put 2 words together. her first 2 words were bubble bath. and it was really cute! however her temper is not. like your, mine was a veery demanding difficult baby, so had lots of attention.
if she is in a strop and some meaning well person speaks to her she kind of half screams half growls at them at the top of her voice.
my dad also taught her to say no. and she will scream no at us if she doesnt want to do something.
i do let her get away with some things, as i just dont know how to deal with them. i think your time out in the cot is a great idea, and i did it last week for the first itme, only for around 5 mins while i changed the bed, but when i went to her, she looked like something from a horror movie, with all the tears and snot. but she did seem to get the message.
so i have no advice, just wanted to let you know you are not alone!

[Nemostwonderfultimeoftheyear]

stroppiness is normal..dd1 is just 2 and a moody mare...lol

[Joppe]

I think it is too much to expect a 2-year old to pick up cards by herself. Do it together and turn it into a game.

[singyswife]

HI this sounds exactly like my dd2. She was like this and for a long time her name was ...Beth Stairs because that is where she goes for a strop. She even used to take herself there. She still does actually and she is 5 in April.

[Nemostwonderfultimeoftheyear]

just to add sorry ..dont use her cot for time out its not reccomended as they can then associate going to bed with being naughty.
I ask dd1 to sit ont he stairs for time out which she has always dont without a problem.Did same with ds from about 22mths aswell

[RedtartanLass]

Sorry mammab but just had to laugh at your post my dd1 is exactly the same age and has turned into the stropiest(?) wee monster! Unfortunately she also teases her big brother. She calls him Cammie as she can't say his name properly, and when she gets bored she annoys him by chanting "Cammie camel, Cammie camel" he gets upset "I'm not a camel mummy" but when I tell her off she says "But I'm only teasing mummy!"

I've got 3 boys ( 1 sds) and never got any back chat until they were at least 15

Is it a girl thing?

[mammabelleboo]

I think you may have hit the nail on the head Gursky - the backchatting is in place of the physical stuff - although we do get the occasional whack or her favourite one is to rip off your glasses and chuck them on the floor! Perhaps I do expect too much of her - It's easy to forget sometimes that she is only 2 as she seems so much more advanced, but I feel really uncomfortable with 'letting go' something that I feel is not acceptable behaviour - maybe that's something I need to deal with. Nemo - yes, it had crossed my mind that the cot isn't the best place for time out - but no way will she stay put on a step - she'd be half way up the stairs! Tried getting her to stay on a doormat, but she thought it was a game, kept getting off and everytime I put her back she cracked up laughing which set me off and once my angry facade had crumpled into laughter, the discipline went out the window . Has anyone got any suggestions for a time out place that they can't escape from that isn't a cot or highchair?

[singyswife]

Playpen

[Shitemum]

do what joppe said

[mairseydotes]

my ds is 24 months and very verbal. he will absorb phrases he hears, repeat them back and then he will use them in context. this week he has also been making up his own lyrics to the frosty the snowman tune. As a result, we forget he is so little and I think we expect far too much of him, behaviour wise. i have to keep saying to myself, he is only 2 he is only 2...so this christmas we have tried to go by his schedule, have left the house a tip and not sweated about the mess, not had any visitors other than family and we have not done too much running about attractions or shops. Possibly as a result, we have had a chilled out son and no toddler tantrums...unlike our normal weekends when we are both back at work.

[Nemostwonderfultimeoftheyear]

what about a timeout mat? We have one due to having a 4,2 and 1 yr old and only one on stairs at a time..lol It beeps if they move and plays a little tune when they are finished although its about £15. My mum got ours due to me moaning about dc fighting on the stairs if I put them both in time out..lol
Also agree about turning things into games..stops a lot of rows here I say things like who can pick up xxxx the quickest..or of a night we put toys to bed and each one is told night night etc. It does mean you have to help but it works better than telling them to do it.