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Behaviour/development

Won't settle unless being held

10 replies

ladymoo · 19/12/2007 11:11

Advice please!! My 6 week old is only happy during the day if he is being held - when he is awake he will cry if he's not in our arms. There doesn't seem to be any chair/mat/mobile anything that will keep him happy while he's awake. At night he does sleep in his moses basket but takes a long time to settle after feeds. Is this normal? Should i leave him to cry or is it okay to pick him up/have him sleep in our arms during the day? Does it get better?!?!

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Jodiew79 · 19/12/2007 11:22

Ahh Lady moo, it does get better.... I promise...

I don't knw what the recommended age is just to leave them, but when I tried 'control crying' I was told by my HV 5 months was the earliest they understand...

Have you thought about visiting a Craniologist? My reflexologist also does Sacro Craniology and told me that if little one was restless after birth then to come to him, he barely even touches baby and it's supposed to be brill, and get fab results, I (thankfully) didn't need him....

Just wondering, did you have a traumatic birth, coz that can have an affect on baby too...

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NineBabiesDancing · 19/12/2007 11:24

A sling was a lifesaver for us. We just carried her everywhere and it stopped the crying. Plus you get to go to the toilet and make/eat sandwiches whilst baby sleeps in the sling

Good sling site

Easiest one to use is a pouch for a newborn.

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ladymoo · 19/12/2007 11:35

Brill, thank you. We did go to a cranial osteopath who told us he may be a bit refluxey but i'm not sure about that - he is not sick often & is perfectly content when he's being held. Birth wasn't traumatic - this bit is much harder!! Thanks for the advice on the slings - so it's okay to have him in that fir a lot if the day?? It doesn't make him expect to be held all the time does it or am i expecting too much from him?! x

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barking · 19/12/2007 11:50

I use to struggle with this then someone recommended reading 'The Continuum Concept' which was life changing.

Slings made such a difference and when you need a rest we use to put our ds's in the car seat and rocked them to sleep.

See continuumconcept

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Jodiew79 · 19/12/2007 11:52

No I don't think you need to worry, it's a confidence thing, it must be ever so scary for him! and nice to have you close....

Do whatever you feel is best, go with your instincts, when DS was tiny I worried abut the tiniest of things, it's only natural, but at the end of the day, your doing what you thinks best, only you know your baby as well as you do, and your hardly going to kill him are you!!!

These first weeks are so special, they don't stay little for ages, before you know it they are into everything and becoming independant and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about! Enjoy him xxxx

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NineBabiesDancing · 19/12/2007 12:01

I worried about getting her used to being carried all the time, until I realised I was doing the carrying anyway. But as I was carrying her in arms, my shoulders were getting sore. A sling makes the carrying you are going to be doing anyway...easier to do.

I ended up wearing my DD for several hours a day when she was little and it got less as she got older. Now she is 15 months I still wear her if she is ill or when we leave the house (we use slings instead of a pram)

If I knew then what I knew now...I would of slung her all the time and not worried about it. When worn babies either sleep or enter a kind of calm attentive phrase and it makes them feel very secure.

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coldtits · 19/12/2007 12:03

Pick him up. Cuddle him. You are not spoiling him, it is not possible at this age. Cuddle cuddle cuddle because you will miss the cuddliness when it stops. Hold him as much as he wants. It's normal anyway.

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gillhowe · 19/12/2007 12:29

Stop reading all advice do what feels best for you

If that's carrying get a good sling - they make an enourmous difference

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LiegeAndLief · 19/12/2007 12:47

Don't worry. He is six weeks old. If he's happy in a sling, it doesn't matter how long he spends in it (as long as you're not exhausting yourself). It really does get better and you really will miss the cuddles, although you might not believe it now - ds is 16 months and has to be pinned down for a cuddle!

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ladymoo · 19/12/2007 17:24

Thank you so much everyone you are all so lovely!! Right we are definately going to get him a sling - a nice Christmas present for him & us!

Seriously thanks so much for the advice, it's so hard to just follow your instincts or even know what they are sometimes!

xxx