DS1 (22m) nightmare eater - advice needed!!!!!!!!!

[NightyTighty]

Ds weaned on usual wide range of foods when little has now discovered how powerful he can be by refusing food. Dh and I now find ourselves putting on silly voices whilst feeding food to DS through bannisters on stairs, begging him to have one more spoon. How did we get here??!!
How did you steer us so wrong Annabel?
Tomorrow, we are starting a new hard-ass regime where ds can only eat if at the table and if he chooses not to eat what we have so lovingly cooked,then he can stay in his seat (rather than play with toys etc) until dh and I have finished.
So come on MNers - are we now creating a different set of troubles and control issues re food for our son? Any advice desperately needed

[Flocci]

I think it is great idea to make him sit and wait while you finish, so that he understand that whether he eats or not he is going to be there, so he may as well eat....... but please be very careful what you threaten DS with because you will have to follow it through. I have had these battles with ds who isnow 3.9 and not getting any better, and I can't find any strategy that works. He will at least sit nicely at the table, but then won't eat.

Too many times I have said things like, you aren't getting down until you eat or you can't watch TV until you eat etc etc and then it is a nightmare following it through. We sat there for 2 hours once, quite calmly, before I gave in, and he had eaten nothing. Similarly he has gone a whole day without watching TV or without his favourite toys and still nothing.

I have no other advice I am afraid. HV and dietician and paediatrician have said give him vitamins, don't make an issue out of it ( Ha! ) and wait for him to grow out of it. it's a nightmare.

[NightyTighty]

Am v relieved that someone else has to sit through their own punishments. This has come to a head because I asked him to try some sweet potato wedges I had cooked (which I thought he'd love), he wouldn't try them so I eventually tried to cajole with "try this and then you can have pudding..." to which he screwed up his face, put some in his mouth like it tasted of dog poo, then spat it out gagging....I don't want to give him feeding probs just because I want him to try new foods... Do I just ride it out hoping it's terrible twos and that he'll be a great eater by school age. Or will I be appearing on Supernanny next year?

[canmummy]

I think you're doing ok

Ours aren't fussy eaters but we have simple rules - they only get 1 choice for dinner (not always theirs!), no pudding if they haven't eaten all their dinner (in fact 9 nights out of 10 we don't have pudding) and they have to stay around the table until we've all finished.

You have to stick by your guns at an early age else they soon learn how to wind you up. If mine have said they are hungry at bedtime because they've refused their tea they are allowed a slice of bread and butter.

Now they're older (6 and 5) another rule they have is you try at least a mouthful of everything on your plate before you leave the table.

I think you can't stress out about it - I'm sure realistically they don't starve themselves - as they pick it up.

[CantSleighWontSleigh]

I would say don't try and feed him yourself. Just put food out and let him either eat it himself or go without. If he sees that you aren't bothered then he's less likely to see it as a power struggle which he can win, so is more likely to eat if he is hungry.

[Flocci]

Last time I got tough and didn't give choices, and stayed firm, ds lasted 4 days eating nothing except usual breakfast of toast and cereal and then afternoon snack of breadsticks and yoghurt. Inbetween he was beside himself and so was I but he wouldn't eat anything new I tried to give him. In the end I gave in and went back to his 4 staple foods because he was visibly losing weight.