Self mutilating five year old??

[JoeR]

Help! I am really worried about my 5 y/o DD. She has taken to biting herself on the forearm, enough to show teeth marks, and then showing them to me and saying she is 'punishing herself'.
She is a really bright bubbly girl, with a twin brother who shows no inclination to this behaviour, she gets on great at school, loves homework and is really chaty with people.
I am really worrried, but try not to over react when she does this - just stop what I am doing, kiss and cuddle, say that I don't like her doing this to herself. We are moving house/country at the moment and are being a bit nomadic for a couple of months, but I am with them all day and so that should give her security.
Is this about attention? Has anyone else had this? Is she going to give this up - how can I help her? reassure me someone!

[Chandra]

Ahem, I don't know if this may help but I remember that when I was about that age, I found out that by sucking hard ona spot in my arm I could leave a red mark on it that lasted for days, I found it so interesting that in less than a week I was looking like a red leopard. The school got worried,talked to my mother and I didn't realise they spots were knows as kiss marks until I was a 12 yrs. old. I got embarrased retrospectively , but I was soooo proud of my red spoted arms at the time. .

The only thing that worries me about your daughter is her saying she is punishing herself, can you ask her why she needs to be punished or where did she got the idea of this punishent?(in a light tone not to scare her off).That may give you a clue.

[Gobbledigook]

JoeR - I'm afraid I don't know what you could do about it but a friend of mine has a 3.5 yr old daughter who does something similar. She scratches herself on the arms (quite badly) and says 'look Mummy, I scratched myself because you told me off/wouldn't let me have/etc'

I'm amazed a 3.5 year old would even think of it. This little girl is VERY clingy to her mother and is hitting her baby brother (12 months) still too but your dd sounds like a secure, happy child and I can't see a reason why she'd do it. It doesn't sound like she is lacking in attention.

Sorry for not having any constructive advice but thought you'd be interested to hear that you are not the only one.

[JoeR]

gobbledigook - yup, that sounds like my one alright. I get the impression that she is doing the 'I am SUCH a naughty child' and takes herself off on her own. She does seem to be the one that is the deepest thinker - I am encouraging her to come and talk to me first. I also found out from this afternoons performence that she feels 'sore inside ' at times - anxiety?
We are having little talks at least. Keep you posted.

[vanessa13]

Hi,

I have both a 8 and 11 year old who have both over the years displayed similar behaviour, first thing I would say is the more attention you give it the more it will happen, I feel it's not always about the attention sometimes though and that even at five years old your child may feel through earlier experiences that he/she has done something that requires 'telling off' I would be more inclined to think this is that the child has seen something similar from a slightly elder child and in the early days of protraying this behaviour has received, rightly so, comfort and attention from the parents which to the child is good. You seem to be handling it correctly, play it down and on each occasion bring the matter to a swift close, almost like weaning him/her off it.
Time and patience are all you really have, you could discuss this with the school nurse to see if they are aware of anything in school that may be causing her to mimic the behaviour of another child?
Remember it wont hurt as much as it looks like it has and will get better, it always seems to be the brighter children who go through this means of attention seeking but you just need to be strong and cautious of it.

Good luck