Ok so how long before this rapid return works??

[MuddlingThru]

We moved DS (2.5) to a bed a couple of months ago. Initially he was fine about going to bed and in the morning stayed in bed until we went into him. I knew that wouldn't last forever and 2 weeks ago he suddenly twigged that he could get out of bed. We have been doing rapid return every evening since then - initially we would go into his room and make sure he was back in bed but he seemed to think that was a game so now we only go as far as the stairgate that we have put in his doorway, gently put a hand on him to encourage him out of the doorway, then shut the door and leave. He doesn't get upset just pootles round for a bit before his next escape attempt.
I have cut back his daytime nap a little to make sure he is tired in the evening. However 2 weeks on he is still taking 1-1.5hrs to settle in the evening - I am just glad that it isn't summer which must limit the amount of entertainment he can find in his room which is pretty dark. I can't believe how much less sleep he has had in the last fortnight.
DH wedged a piece of wood under his door handle to stop him being able to open it last night which I wasn't particularly comfortable with (although tonight ds did seem slightly less inclined to open his door). I would rather he learns to stay in his room but knows that the door can be opened if he really needs us.
I realise that staying in his bed is unrealistic, I just want him to stay in his room with the door closed.
Any one with experience of this out there who can tell me how much longer this is likely to go on? Any tricks for hurrying it up?

[CodRestYeMerryGentelmen]

i sit outside wiht a mag( or used to)

[MuddlingThru]

How many mags did you get through before they got the message?

[CodRestYeMerryGentelmen]

well i did have to be quite firm
i find its good to stya at the end of the bed till they are almost asleep

then say you have to go to the loo

then if that dosnt work sit outside

also refer to it int he day time and say that that what we do at bedtime and that you stay in bed etcetc

if they piss baot ignore and then occasionalyl say "bed"

[Fizzylemonade]

I haven't had to do this personally but did see this on house of tiny tearaways (where they had 4 year old girl and they returned her about 140 times in one night -seriously) but the rapid return is -the first time you state it is time for bed and return them to their bed, 2nd time you repeat it is time for bed and always return them to bed and the 3rd time to the 100th time you say nothing, no eye contact, no entertainment no anything.

They know they should be in bed. They eventually get the message that you won't play and getting out will get them nowhere. But you have to put them back into their bed otherwise they will think that playing in their room is acceptable at night.

The childgate stops them wandering at night and also stops any parent from just letting the child into their own bed in the middle of the night because it is easier to let them get in than get out of bed. The childgate forces you to get out of bed to return them.

I did have a dream ds1 who never even got out of bed until he was 4yrs old, but I know for a fact that I will have to face rapid returning ds2 who is currently 18 months because he is already a complete monkey.

Ooooh forgot to say we bought a bunny alarm clock (not the one that most people have) see link below, it was a fab investment and nice when the room is dark as the other one my son couldn't see from his bed. Plus it is a 24 hour clock so much easier than the 12 hour analouge clock.

here

[MuddlingThru]

I saw that Tiny Tearaways - the little girl cottoned on very quickly but then she was a good couple of years older than my ds.

TBH I am not worried about him playing in his room for a little bit - I have tried to balance the number of toys in there, enough so there isn't too much to entertain him at bedtime but just enough to entertain him when he wakes in the morning until I am ready to get up (usually only 20 mins).

Also if I go into his room he grins away like mad and treats it like a game of chase, whereas if I just gently shut the door he looks disappointed at the lack of attention so not going in seems to work better for him.

So far (please don't let me jinx it) it is only at bedtime that it has been an issue. The first couple of nights there was some fun at about 5am but I was strong and just continued the rapid return.

I haven't got a bunny alarm clock (would rather not have to find £35) but instead found an old timer socket and have plugged a light into that. Every night I have told him before bed that if the light is off it means that he should stay in bed, if the light is on he can play with his toys, but that he must not open the door, only Mummy and Daddy open his door. I have set the light to come on about 15 mins before his usual wake time.

[MuddlingThru]

Ok so another evening of shutting the door every time he opens it - 45minutes in already and I have lost count of the number of times.

I cut his nap back to just 45 mins today and it has been a pretty busy day for him so he should be tired.

On Tiny Tearaways etc they always seem to crack it in less than a week and it gets less and less each evening.

Has anyone else out there experienced this where it continues to be so long every evening and then they suddenly get it overnight? Please give me hope.

[CodRestYeMerryGentelmen]

sit ouseide and growl" bed"

[CodRestYeMerryGentelmen]

yes dont talk to him or even look at hi
say bed
repeat yourslef
bed

if he sill dicks abotu then pick him up and put him in

i think you are being oo nice

[CodRestYeMerryGentelmen]

also leaev the door tbh
just get him in bed
sit at the end
tell him you are going ot haev a nap too

when he is still( ignore any messing aorund) then go

[MuddlingThru]

After 2 weeks of this my niceness is starting to wear thin. I guess where he has until now been so good at bedtime I was giving him the benefit of the doubt and going the gently, gently route. No more Mister Nice Guy after tonight. Will have to think about doing the Cod Bedtime Boot Camp. Thanks.

[CodRestYeMerryGentelmen]

yes haev you talked to him durign the day about it

helps to reinforce imo

[deckthehallswithFEETofTIGERs]

I have pretty much cracked bedtime with dd by using the growling/magazine on landing method.

Shame she still wakes several times a night crying because she doesn't like being left alone

I am being too soft on her but at 3am I am too tired to argue.

[MuddlingThru]

I have tried talking to him during the day and then again during the bedtime routine to remind him just before it all kicks off.

With a 2 year old and and a 1 year old I have often moaned about not having enough to time to read - looks like this is my chance. I think I will dig out one of the books I have been meaning to read for a while and prepare to camp outside his room for a few nights. As I am 6 weeks pg I need to crack this before the really sick and tired phase hits as I really won't have the patience for it then.