Please can we share our baby-knowledge here, for new mums?

[Columbia]

I just thought there might be a place for a thread where we talk about baby tips, all in one place - such as how your baby communicates with you. (could be wrong )

I was hopeless first time - to me every cry was 'feed me' when actually he probably had wind, a wet nappy, you know what I mean...I was so scared of the crying, I shoved my boob in at every opportunity. And wondered why for some reason, he still cried...

This time I can better distinguish, and I wish someone had told me what he meant the first time. So I'm not being patronising!!

Some I would pass on:

Very tiny baby putting hand up to mouth = feed me.

small baby (under 6 months) staring intently at you from lying down, refuses to lose eye contact or smile = feed me. Do not walk away.

Baby doing 'riverdance' with arms outstretched in a 'crucifix' shape= pick me up.

Anyone else?

[tasha21]

hi, baby pulling knees up to chest and making grunting noises = wind me

[krugerparkrules]

i found the section in the baby whisperer on signs really useful (especially wind which i totally didnt get, and only realise now what some of the crying of my poor dd was really for!!!)
when i get a chance i will try and copy some of them onto this post ....

[Columbia]

Oh my friend liked the Baby Whisperer, I must read it!
Thanks girls, keep them coming

[Columbia]

Hi Inzi!
Oh golly, it is so easy to do! I was terrified of my first one crying because I felt he might never stop. So my boobs were my only safeguard. He used to cry for an hour sometimes.
This one, I knew that they do stop, and usually it doesn't seem to be hunger but wind. I have had a couple of 'long' cries with him but usually he is fine.
He also gets bored I think, calls out for a bit if I've gone in the other room, if I don't come back it turns into a cry and stops when I lift him up. Reassurance partly, I think.
It's so strange. They pick up on our anxiety, which I think we all have first time

Second babies are notoriously laid back!

[coby]

Columbia - are they really???? I must have had mine the wrong way round

[dd666]

if your baby is still crying after b asic feed wind change a bath used to settle my dd

if you plan on going out pack your bag the night before

[Columbia]

Sorry Coby I stand corrected!

[coby]

Columbia - , I think it's just that my children like to be different.

I wish I had known that children do cry out in the night without actually needing anything. Poor DD1 used to cry out in her sleep for a brief period (I think she was dreaming) and I'd rush in, pick her up and try to work out what was wrong. She's usually pretty placid but one night when this happened she just screamed and screamed at me, in the end I had to put her back in her cot to get a break from the noise. She immediatly gave me a look which was a definite 'about time' and went straight back to sleep. After that I waited a short while before rushing in (the short while got longer as the children got older)

Best tip I can think of: Beleive it or not, Mum really does know best so trust your intuition. Regardless of what anyone else thinks, you are most likely to be aware if your baby is ill or needing something. Took me ages to believe this. I remember my health visitor scaring me to death when I asked her why my baby was crying one day and she replied 'I've no idea, I'm not her mum, you'll work it out . She was right

[3missyshohoho]

Hi, I know this isn't anything to do with baby cries but a tip I would pass on would be don't bother with buying "newborn" outfits for your baby, such as the sweet little dresses and jeans and shirts etc. They might look cute on the hanger but on a practical level pretty coloured sleepsuits are easier to change and more comfortable in the first few weeks of their life.

[karen999]

Columbia - I don't think 2nd babies are more laid back. I think mums are!!!New mums are more anxious and I do think they pick this up but when you have another you are far more relaxed and I think they can sense this....

[mummymagic]

IMO the first few weeks (months, years?) are supposed to be about getting to know your baby.

So it's ok to not be able to know instantly what your baby wants at 1 week (and why should any book know your baby any better? ) but relax and experiment (NB that means getting it wrong too) and eventually you will learn more about what your child likes and needs. This will begin a great bond as you begin to understand and relate to your child. Enjoy this learning process - please don't feel you have to be a Baby Expert or anything.

[tasha21]

hiya i agree my first was more laid back than my second and my second more than my third think this was because i had them too close together so am more stresed each time rather than more laid back. this one scared me the first time - blue around the mouth=wind

[CoteDAzur]

Put baby on tummy AND ON THE FLOOR every day, from day one. Don't omit tummy time because baby doesn't like it (like I did ) or keep him on the soft couch all day because it is softer/cleaner/nearer (like I did ) so he can actually learn to use his muscles and crawl!

Accept that you will have to be firm with your baby (i.e. make him cry) at some point - to teach him to sleep through the night, to break his attachment to dummies, etc. (This tip is obviously not for the first couple of months)

Once baby starts solids, make the vegetable purees yourself, pour them into ice moulds to conserve in freezer. Introduce a maximum of different foods until the age of 1.5 or so, because after that they refuse everything they don't already know.

[cushioncover]

Stay away from moses baskets if you want your baby to form good sleeping habits. The sooner they're in a cot, the quicker good habits will form (even if it means having no room to walk in your bedroom because of the enormous cot in there!

Oh and get blackout blinds as soon a possible. They are a must for teaching baby that he/she should go to sleep when it is dark.

[Sushipaws]

There is so much I agree with here. I wish I had never started rocking my dd to sleep and had left her to cry a bit longer as the older she gets the harder it is to stop.

I used to feel physically sick when my dd cried, I would rather have stuck forks into my legs than listen to her. I've been told that this is because a hormone is released when you hear your baby cry and this has a huge effect on a mother. I honestly think babies pick up on a mothers anxiety and will act accordingly. I think mothers are more relaxed with following babies because they've learnt to control the way they feel when their babies cry.

Oh and crying with ear pulling can mean either "I'm Sleepy" or "I'm sore" like teething or something.

Hope this helps.

[coby]

I agree with moses baskets. Unless someone gives one to you for free - and all the bedding to go with it - they are a waste of money becuase most babies outgrow them within a few weeks.

Both my DDs couldn't get proper sleep in a moses basket or crib becuase every time they moved they knocked their hands or feet on the side and that woke them up. They weren't big babies at birth they weighed 6lbs 9oz and 6lbs 14oz. They both slept much better once in a cotbed (even though they looked sooooo tiny in it!)

[Kerri28]

am a new mum - THANK YOU!!!!! am moving baby out of her moses basket this weekend and was worried it was the wrong thing to do (she'll be 12 weeks), also like the tips about what crying means. hope this link helps more mums like me, and that i'll feel confident enough to add to it myself one day!

[JenT]

great thread.
I would say that your instinct is usually right.. trust yourself, you are / will be (if you are pregnant) a great parent.

And remember by the time they go to school it will not be clear who had formula or who slept through the night before 6 months or who walked early etc.

as for practical tips.. if your baby has colic/ trapped wind lay them on their back hold their ankles and make bicyle movments pushing their knees gently into their tummy.. my boys would trump like troopers when we did this!

Enjoy!

[mummymagic]

And in ten years are you going to really regret that they didn't self-settle at 4 months or remember those lovely cuddles where they fell asleep on you?

Have some perspective and enjoy the present, don't worry about the future.

[LoveAngelGabriel]

Biggest tip - babies cry! They cry when they are hungry, wet, tired, lonely, scared, want to be held, need winding, want attention and ...oh..about a hundred other reasons. Sometimes they cry and you just won't beable to figure out why they are crying. Doesn't make you a bad mum! Oh, and continuous crying (as in colicky babies, for example) can be very wearing on any human being. Don't feel a failure if you have to grab your husband or call up your mum/best friend/kindly neighbour etc and say 'Please take this crying baby from me for 10 minutes, I beg you!'.

[Columbia]

Thanks for adding your tips girls, I just want to say that there are a few things on the thread that I wouldn't suggest or do myself - and I want people to know that not all of these tips are universally agreed with!
Personally I co sleep with both my children, don't use a cot, and only regret the times I haven't rocked my children to sleep - or haven't been able to go to them when they cry - I think it is counterproductive to leave them to cry. Research has incontravertably shown that babies who are not left to cry in the first six months of life, cry less in their first year than those who are left to cry.

Please take these tips as opinions only, and remember that opinions can differ.

No offence to anyone who disagrees with me!

[lulalullabye]

Can I just say that newborn babies are boring and it is not abnormal to look at them and think what the hell have I done !!!

It does get better and you will enjoy it. A very lucky person if you enjoy them from day one, or a little fibber

[Columbia]

And I would never leave my baby on its tummy if it hated it!!!!! They do cry for a reason!

sorry.

[lulalullabye]

I think that everybody is entiltiled to there own opinions and to do what they want with their own children without judgement.

There are ways and means of doing everything, horses for courses !