Angry, violent 7 year old boy.

[beech]

Please help.... My ds2 is so angry and abusive and even violent to me at the mo, he is also the same to dh and ds1 occassionally. We had another baby a year ago and everything seemed ok,then 2 months ago my ds2 changed, he also gets very upset sometimes that it can take half an hour or more to stop him crying. It is really upsetting us as a family and my ds3 gets frightened, ds2 will also threaten to wake ds3 if I don't do what he wants etc. He can be very violent, punching etc, I am slowly losing my cool and feel I may end up hurting him, even when trying to defend myself or ds1. I can't handle it and have no idea what to do, he will not do anything we ask and sometimes is not in bed until 10pm on a school night, when he use to sleep 8 - 7am. He needs his sleep as he suffers with asthma and can get shattered. He is constantly saying he hates me and that he is no longer the baby of the family so I do not love him anymore, I have tried rewards, etc time and cuddles etc, nothing is working, is there someone I can get advice from, I need SUPER NANNY!

[jennykb]

Sounds like you're having a really hard time. There could be all kinds of things going on it could be a delayed reaction to the baby, something going on at school, or any number of other things. Have you tried talking to him casually at moments when things are ok, gently asking him what's going on and what's upsetting him? You may have done this, but making sure he has some time with you or your dh that is set out for him and totally uninterrupted by other children might help him feel special and give him the space to talk about what's bothering him as well. It might also be worth talking to school and asking if they've noticed any changes. I think it could be worth speaking to your GP and asking for a referral to CAMHS lots of people do it these days -- who should be able to help you with both behaviour management and also to find what is at the root of it.