Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

1 2

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

18 month old boy not talking

32 replies

colditzmum · 26/10/2004 22:17

Hi I am new to mumsnet. I have an 18 month old boy. He is an only child, so I have no previous experience, and my health visiter says he should be speaking by now. His hearing is fine, andf I know he understands me, but he makes no effort to speak at all. I try not to give into "point and whine" but he just gives up! I am getting Quite worried, and wondered if anyone out there has some tips to encourage him to talk

OP posts:

Report

EvesMama · 26/10/2004 22:23

sorry, no helpful advice but bump so someone might!

Report

michellep · 26/10/2004 22:25

When you say he doesn't talk, do you mean he doesn't say anything that you can understand? Does he babble at all?

Report

Chandra · 26/10/2004 22:25

Oh dear, then I should worry as well! DS is almost 20 months but only uses words sporadically and rarely repeats them, or he uses them several times and then forgets they exist. No conversation at all here, it's just like a game to name things. I guess that if you can see he understand you (follow orders, or show he doesn't like your decisions [smile) it should be OK. Boys also take longer to speak than girls, specially those who are very mobile.

Report

colditzmum · 26/10/2004 22:31

He makes "shouty noises" and he calls animals by holding his hand out and clicking. If I try to play naming things, he looks at me as if I've just landed. Then he goes to brum cars on the walls.

OP posts:

Report

colditzmum · 26/10/2004 22:34

I suppose he is very active too. It's hard not to worry isn't it!

OP posts:

Report

michellep · 26/10/2004 22:34

Well, it seems as if he has an understanding of things, if he is trying to call animals. If he is making noises, I wouldn't worry too much. Was he mobile fairly quickly?

Report

mykidsmum · 26/10/2004 22:39

Aren't health visitors great at worrying the sh*t out of you without giving you any real informed advice action or support?? Boys do tend develop quite slowly, mine certainly did but if your child communicates with you and can let you know what he wants then I would say there is no real problem having said that if you are concerned it is worth watching. Don't try and push him just talk lots he'll pick up on odd words eventually, read stories even if his attention span is short he will benefit. All children develop at different rates and quite frankly i think we could all do wihout the pressure of health proffs and others telling us whats normal. Much Love xxxxxx

Report

mothernature · 26/10/2004 22:40

Some children don't talk early, nothing to worry about I'm sure some do other things first, ie walk, build blocks etc etc just try repeating words when playing, ie 'block' when picking up a block, 'cup' when picking up a cup, you must repeat words for them to click even when your making breakfast tell them 'toast' 'milk' 'bowl' they will soon get there don't worry baby's brains are funny things and work there own way...hope this help's

Report

colditzmum · 26/10/2004 22:42

He crawled at 7 mths, and walked at 13 mths. He hits all the gross motor skill milestones for his age, I think. H stamps in puddles and has a sense of humour, he's just very ...... Quiet! Even his tantrums are pretty silent. ( I'm not making any friends here )

OP posts:

Report

mykidsmum · 26/10/2004 22:46

I think he sounds fine, definately the bit about sense of humour!! The reason you worry is because we are all under so much pressure to have perfect kids and be perfect mums especially first time round.

Report

Skate · 26/10/2004 22:51

Can he understand your instructions? So if you said 'go and get my your shoes' would he know what you meant and attempt to find them?

Understanding usually comes first and if he can do this I wouldn't be too worried. Can he make himself understood to you? Can he 'tell' you he wants a drink for example?

DS1 started to say words much later than his friends but he was the first to walk (10 months) and has always been very advanced physically. He's now 3.5 and is actually a better talker than his friends who said words very early. The sentences he puts together and the way he describes things are amazing, very articulate and descriptive and everyone comments on it.

Try not to worry too much, they all start to do things at their own pace.

Report

colditzmum · 26/10/2004 22:51

Thankyou everone! Yes I agree, there's nothing quite like a health visiter for making you feel guilty and inadequate! They should probably get more training than a two-page pamphlet entitled "People-skills And How To Use Them!".

OP posts:

Report

colditzmum · 26/10/2004 22:58

He does understand me very clearly. If I tell him to get Bob the Builders hat, that is the hat he will fetch. If he feels like it. It's hard to know the difference between incomprehension and reluctance. Sometimes I think he waits until I leave the room, then he phones his mates and chatters ten to the dozen about how he only has to grunt, and his mum's so well trained she just gets up and does it!

OP posts:

Report

michellep · 26/10/2004 23:02

DD1 was quick at mobility but very slow with talking. She is 2yrs 5mnths now, and she has practically caught up with the others her age. I found that when she started to mix with slightly older children, her speech really improved. She loves singing, so we bought some childrens tapes that I play in the car, and that really seems to have helped. Apparently children concentrate on one stage of development at a time, and they all catch up in the end. Health pros do tend to worry you. When DD2 was six weeks old, the Doctor told me her legs were too short. When I saw him a week later for something to do with my ceasarean, he pointed at DD2, said "that's not the baby is it?" when I answered "yes", he said "she's a bit big for seven weeks"!!! If you are really worried, get a second opinion from another HV.

Report

colditzmum · 26/10/2004 23:07

I was advised to send him to a nursery, but that awful program that was on a few months back about nurseries has petrified me, and on top of that, one in our area has recently been shut down pending an enquiry into child cruelty!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

Report

mykidsmum · 26/10/2004 23:14

Who advised you to send him to nursery, personaly I can't quite see how he would benefit more than he does having one to one time with his mummy. I think nurseries have their place but don't quite see how this would help??

Report

colditzmum · 26/10/2004 23:23

come to think of it, it was that awful health visiter! They do talk through their bottoms sometimes. My dp and I both work 35 hours a week, but we work our shifts so that we don't have to use childcare. Some childcare is fantastic, but in our area it really is inadequate - all the places are filled in the good spots. I don't think he would get the care he gets at home with me and his dad

OP posts:

Report

mykidsmum · 26/10/2004 23:27

Me and my dp did exactly the same until our fourth child, well done to you both isn't it great to share childcare, it will be really beneficial to your ds too!!

Report

michellep · 26/10/2004 23:33

When DD1 was old enough to sit at the craft table at mother and toddler groups, etc, I noticed that she would try to chat to the older children, and they seemed to love chatting to the younger ones. I also found the same with friends with slightly older children. DD1 was very shy, which didn't really help her talking, but once she got used to talking to the older ones, it really seemed to bring on her confidence.

Report

colditzmum · 26/10/2004 23:42

Its a running joke in our house that ds has two single parents that just happen to share a house! It does work very nicely especially as dp has a mate who is a stay at home dad' and a lot of the girls(!) i work with have toddlers.

OP posts:

Report

justtheone · 26/10/2004 23:46

Hi, sorry that you are worried about your DS. My DS did not start speaking until past his 2nd birthday and he only started to speak to people outside the family at about 28 months. Now that he has started, you can't stop him and his nursery has mentioned that he has a wonderful vocabulary and grasp of grammer (he is now 3yrs 5 mths). Also, like you, I was loathe to start him at nursery too early, so I waited until after his 3rd birthday. By that time he was able to express himself clearly and could let me, and more importantly the teachers, know what he wanted.

As somebody else mentioned, they all develop different skills at different rates, so as long as he understands you I would not worry too much.

Report

80sMum · 27/10/2004 00:12

It's probably a bit too early to be worrying yet. Both of mine were late talkers. DS still had some immature speech sounds at 7. DD didn't start to talk in sentences till she was almost 3. They both caught up with their peers and turned out fine. DS is now a business banking manager and DD is at university studying for a vocational degree in, guess what? Speech Therapy!

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Email address

You've subscribed!

acer · 27/10/2004 00:17

My ds1 didn't say much, other than car and would point untill he was about2 and half yrs old, his vocab wasn't brill until he started school, he is 6.5 now and is doing really well at school, i wouldn't worry, aslong as he understands you and his hearing is fine. We always thought it was cute and i never wanted him to grow up too fast.

Report

throckenholt · 27/10/2004 07:55

does he make animal impressions ? All my kids were very good at baaing and mooing before they said any words ! Also DS1 spent 5 months saying nothing but brmbrm after DH taught him it at about 14 months. He is now 3 and talks all the time.

Report

Skate · 27/10/2004 08:41

Just to say, I don't think nursery will make a jot of difference. I've always been at home with mine and it actually annoys me that people have always said about ds1 'oh, he's very outgoing/sociable/chatty..for a child that doesn't to nursery' - what?!? Just goes to show you that they are just all individuals and just because they don't go to nursery from 6 months doesn't mean they'll be socially inadequate or developmentally behind!!!

DS1 goes to playgroup 4 mornings a week now and loves it - he's 3.5 now and was ready from 2 so he went but ds2 is almost 2 and I'd say he's not quite ready so I won't start him till I feel he is.

DS2 is 2 next week and can just say single words still (although quite clearly) whereas a friends little girl is just 6 weeks older than him and talks in proper sentences...they are just all different so don't worry.

FWIW, I think HV are a waste of time. They just frighten the life out of you and certainly mine have never been able to tell me anything I don't already know!