What is wrong with my kids?

[NAB3]

They were sent to my ILs after the debacle that was the trip to the hairdressers and they stayed there Wed am to Fri pm. The youngest stayed with me.

Today, they had a good half hour where they played games fairly nicely but they have argued, fought, been rude and cheeky to us, been mean to each other including the baby and DD has 2 marks on her face where she fell (was pushed?) against the wall. DH has cancelled Christmas and I have told them they can go to Nanny's as they can obviously behave for her and not me.

Had enough, big time.

[NAB3]

And I don't want any they are normal kids comments. I seriously need help to sort this or I am giving up.

[lucyellensmum]

dare i say this NAB, but they are (normal) LEM - ducks as NAB throws her mouse at her.

But seriously, i sympathise, they sound like a handful, how many do you have? I didnt read your hairdressing thread. Children always behave so much better for grandparents, its the law! What particular problems are you facing? Not that i am any good with behaviour advice but you sound like you are at the end of your tether (i would find crowd control really difficult and have much respect for mums with more than one child). One thing i would suggest though is contacting your local homestart, they may be able to come up with a solution, or the begining of one. Even if that is someone to come and listen to your woes for an hour, or to give you a hand with the little ones.

I wasn't being trite when i said they are normal, of course you realise that they are, but they do sound like a handful. It does seem to be tit for tat all the time with siblings ive noticed. Parent of two effectively only children (15 year gap) so should probably shut up, just wanted to bump this for you.

Do give homestart a thought though, i think your health visitor should have their number.

[SpookyDooooo]

Blimey they sound like my kids & i am about to storm out & never return! have much sympathy for you i really do, but i have no answers.

[NAB3]

I am aware that it is me that has the problems but my goodness it is bloody hard when you have no energy to think what to do, never mind impliment it.

[lucyellensmum]

heavens NAB, its not you with problems honey - you have a bunch of hooligans to control (i mean that kindly!). Its hard enough for me, with one, i honestly dont think i could cope with more. Its not your fault, you just have energetic children, head strong and confident by the sounds of it, so you must be doing something right. Don't beat yourself up over this, and dont be afraid to ask for some practical help.

[NAB3]

Hooligans made me laugh.

They are head strong and confident but it is so wearing when they cheek you. DS1 was crying, I think he doesn't actually want to go and live with nanny.

[BroccoliSpears]

I suppose that sending them to their grandparents so that they behave is reinforcing the message that you are not the boss of them. However, how you move to a situation where both you and they regard you as able to control them I don't know and certainly wouldn't hazard a guess based on my total lack of experience dealing with three boystrous children.

I sympathise, it can't be easy.

[NAB3]

You have a point.

MIL can deal with them as she gives them 100% attention when they are there, used to teach 30 kids of a similar age, has no temper and is better at being a mother.

[BroccoliSpears]

I don't think there's a sliding scale of mothering ability - she's not 'better at being a mother' than you, she just approaches things differently because her circumstances are different. You could give them 100% attention if you had nothing else to be doing. And children don't need 100% attention to behave well anyway - no child in the real world gets 100% attention 100% of the time.