sons says he is scared when going too bed

[jolly4]

hi my ds is 7 and for the past 2months he has started to be frightened and not wanting too go to bed alone or upstairs unless myself or dh takes him unless we allow him his video on if we reason him he just crys and says we cannot read his mind , this has started ever since he watched a tv program called goosebumps with a funny looking ventriliquist puppet the thing is i am fedup as i feel we are goin backwards dh thinks he is doin it as an excuse for us too go too bed with him, but he is not scared of scary masks and halloween , any tips how too break this fear, i can understand too some point as when i was younger the fear of someone under the bed terrified me is this part of growin up my dh is not very sympathetic as just tells him too get too bed or he will be grounded , but if this fear is genuine i need too reasure which i have done but not workin any suggestions please i am also 6 months preg

[agy]

7 isn't very old is it? Do you go up with him and read him a story, or just cuddle till he gets sleepy. You will probably go to sleep as well and wake up at about 9 o'clock which is a bit of a pain, but it would be worth it if it helps.

[miam]

Would he be happier with a night-light? Or would it help for him to confront his fear by taking him to a puppet show? That may help him to see that puppets are completly harmless. I do think that they develop over-active imaginations about that age, and he should get over it in time but it must be upsetting for him, and you, just now. Sorry I dont have much useful information, but I'm sure someone will have more experience of this and will be able to give you better advice. xx

[Snugs]

You could always try a dream-catcher.

My (then 6 yr old) ds was suffering regular nightmares. We bought a dream-catcher (loads of new-age type shops do them now) and made a big thing of hanging it over his bed. I explained that the catcher would stop the bad dreams in it's web and only let the lovely dreams through.

And the nightmares stopped! On the rare occasion now that he has one, we take down the dream catcher and 'empty' it by giving a good shake over the loo and flushing the bad stuff away.

Someone will know doubt understand the psychology behind how it worked on his mind, but to a little boy it was pure magic and it is still working a year later.

[mummytojames]

jolly i know this mught not be much help but iwent through the same thing around his age except the only thing that stopped mine was changing rooms (i was waking in the midle of the night screaming that there wassomeone coming through the window trying to kill still got to sleep facing the door or the window as the fear never realy left)but a little trick my mother used to do with me was about five minuites before bed time take me upstairs get me to point out anything that looked scary with the light of and just took them out of the room but realy at that young of age hes still in the cuddle in bed before sleep please dont worry we all went through it and we all grew out of it and he will to

[CarrieG]

I got myself into a right old tizz at about the same age over a story I'd read about a vampire unpicking the lead between the window panes...the first warning of its approach was seeing two glowing lights approaching the house, which turned out to be the vampire's eyes!

We lived in a house which backed onto local woods - & at night you could often see lights thro' the trees...used to scare the crap out of myself night after night, my parents were completely unsympathetic & the whole fuss went on for weeks.

Can only suggest you let him have a light on, & generally don't make a bigger deal out of it than you have to - maybe he wants his video to distract himself from whatever it is that's freaking him out? I know that what REALLY upset me was that I wasn't allowed to have a light on & read - it made me feel that my parents weren't taking my fears at all seriously, & by extension that I couldn't rely on them to rescue me when the vampire finally made its move!

It's definitely part of growing up - I can remember simultaneously knowing that I was being completely daft BUT knowing just as clearly that the vampire was a-gonna get me. If your ds was a couple of years younger & scared by a tv prog, he'd probably just get hysterical & insist that the creepy puppet was going to 'get' him somehow...a couple of years older & it wouldn't bother him at all because he'd be quite sure it was 'only a story', but kids of 7 or so are just starting to differentiate between 'real' & 'not-real'. & there's bound to be the odd glitch where they get upset & confused & won't/can't talk about it, because it's not quite clear in their own minds.

Sorry for long post! My ds is still tiny so I've all this to come - above is based on some work I did on horror stories with my Year 8 English class, & their recollections of things that scared them when they were small & why...hope it helps?

[mieow]

I won't watch Goosebumps, its scares the life out of me no seriously, one day me and DH were watching telly when Goosebumps came on and it was very scary!!

[Kayleigh]

snugs, what a lovely idea.

[jolly4]

thanks for all your help , no i dont lay with him till he gets sleepy, we got used too me just takin him up stairs cuddling for 5 mins kisses then took in and he generally goes off too sleep no problem ,the dream catcher sounds a good idea i have heard of these b4 , my ds was in bed with us last nite again which is regular now , says he had a nightmare we chatted this morn he could describe his nightmare ,an when we spoke he suggested a dream catcher so i will go an see if i can get one today , thanks for all your advice, also i have let him know that he dosent watch goosebumps anymore.