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Behaviour/development

Football team dilemma....

7 replies

Flowertop · 11/10/2007 14:53

My DS1 (have written about him a lot over the years on MN!), he is nearly 9. He plays in the B team of our local footie team after being dropped from the A team. He doesn't know why he was dropped from the A team but it is to do with him being the worst player in the team. I know that sounds harsh but it is the only way I can describe it. Actually he isn't the worst player but he is not consistently good. One week he can score 2 goals and the next he will not go near the ball, shrink from it when it comes near him and generally seems to not give a damn. The B team is quite new and everyone is keen for their DC's to do well. I feel that DS1 is causing some resentment from other parents because of his lack of dedication. He loves the game and when I suggest he can give it up if he likes, he does not want to know. Only asks why he is not in the A team. I do point out that he must try his best every week and he thinks he does. He is always the one sitting out for half the match (too many players) on his own. I suppose I'm asking if I should do anything. I don't want everyone to get fed up with him because he doesn't try and they feel he is letting the team down but if he loves playing I don't want to knock his confidence by taking him away from the B team either. Also I am concerned that due to him not trying/caring he may be dropped anyway.
Any suggestions would be grateful.

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Doodledootoo · 11/10/2007 14:57

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bozza · 11/10/2007 15:03

No advice but will be reading with interest because I can see this being an issue with DS in years to come.

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Flowertop · 11/10/2007 15:40

Thanks for being lovely. Doodledootoo think the kids resentful because the parents are tutting away (it is really embarrassing). They only have to hear their dad/mum say if that kid wasn't in the team we would do so much better. I know it's like this as have heard it about other kids before. The shame is he loves playing but can be really half hearted when he does not feel on form. Everyone will be shouting from the sidelines as he gazes into space. He has started at a new school and has not been picked for the rugby team and he truly believes that he should have been and can't understand why. Lovely attitude really as he never gets pissed off if the team lose. All the others are crying and he just says 'it's only a game mum'. Bozza do you have same?

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bozza · 11/10/2007 15:50

Err no I don't have the same - DS (who is only 6 to be fair) cries when he loses at practice. But apart from that bit (and your DS sounds lovely) he can be a bit of a dreamer and a bit up and down as you describe (although better at matches than practice where he is always tired). DS loves football but I am not sure he is that talented although he is only young.

It is a shame that the parents are being negative about your DS to the rest of the team. I think you should still let him go if that is what he wants (sounds like it is), encourage him to try hard, but take a step back regarding whether he gets picked or not.

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Doodledootoo · 11/10/2007 16:08

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stoppinattwo · 11/10/2007 17:59

doodledootoo you make wonderful sense XXX, my words exactly. My DS is also a lover of footie but is very inconsistent. Pay no attention to anyone but your son and let him be his own decider. let him enjoy playing, at that age parents should keep their big mouths shut.

Flowertop, I feel for you, tis a big dilema, ask yous son what he wants to do and go with that. You are very honest with him and rightly so.

I would have a quiet word with the other parents ande xplain to them that they arnt quite premiership material yet either

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Doodledootoo · 12/10/2007 11:15

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