Squabbling siblings -at my wits end, please help!!

[milkymill]

Someone please give me some tips on how to deal with my 2 dc's constant squabbling. They're only 2.9yrs and 13 mths, but it's terrible already! How do you teach a toddler to share? I praise her when she does share toys, but it seems to make no difference. They spend a large part of the day just screaming "no" at each other and bursting into tears over various incidents. They do have times of playing nicely together, but I can see these getting few and far between. [Sighs] Maybe it just seems worse after a rainy day in.

[Franniban]

It is difficult, our two are the same, 3.5 and 2yrs. No tips I'm afraid. My dh looks after them during the day and he says that's it's much better now that ds who's 3 goes to pre school, as it seems that absence makes the heart and all that. Keep praising the sharing, and I'm sure that things will get better. Much sympathy, it does drive you mad.

[ScoobyDooooo]

I have no tips, i also have 2 exactly the smae all they do is squabble, fight argue, ds is 5 & dd is 20 months, half the problem is, is when they want to play with the same toy (all thew time) so one will snatch off the other, if it is ds dd will bite him, she bites no one else only ds.

I am trying to control it & it is soooo much easier now ds is at school but 5 mins in the door they are off. sigh

I hope someone has some advice i find splitting them up works wonders but can't do that for long.

[milkymill]

I know, having 2 and seeing them interact can be the most wonderful thing in the world, but I just feel so sad when ds (13mths) is constantly hitting etc. Dd (eldest) was never like this, being a pfb.

[KTNoo]

It gets better in some ways as they get older, and just different in other ways. My eldest 2 are now 4 and 6 and they still squabble all the time. It's mostly verbal insults now, with the odd whack thrown in. The difference is now that I can mostly leave them to sort it out. If they are fighting over a toy then I tell them they had better work out turns or the toy will be going in time out. I've learned not to take sides or assume I know who started it.

Can you distract the 13 month old with something else? This worked until recently with my 18 month old who has just become much more single-minded!

[scattyspice]

I don't think they can really share at that age. You have to play with them alot. It gets better. Mine are 4 and 2.5 and rarely squabble now.

[Flibbertyjibbet]

Some toys I just buy two cheapo from ebay so they have one each - not that I ever itended to be such an indulgent mummmy but it makes my life much easier
We do try to make ds1 (2.9) share but its easier to have toys like a train set or lego with lots of pieces so they can sort of both play with a big chunk of it. DS2 is happy to share - or is he? perhaps he is just used to having things taken off him by big bro?
IMO you can't get a toddler to share, its a concept that they can't understand yet, but hopefully if I encourage them enough they will get there.

[TheMadHouse]

I sympathise with you mine are 2.6 and 16 months and it can be a real nightmare. we have started to take turns with a timer and DS1 does now understand that concept.

I also sometimes, just have to let them fight it out to an extent. I only step in if things get too heated.

[milkymill]

Thanks, I suppose it's good to know I'm not just 'missing a trick', that toddlers just don't understand sharing, and that they one day will! Doesn't that help that ds was born an angry bear.