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Behaviour/development

I'm at my wits end with my fussy kids

11 replies

hattiejacques · 22/09/2007 17:38

I just want to rant about my ultra fussy kids who are driving me crazy with their fussiness. Ds1 is 6 and Ds2 is 3 1/2 and the range of food they will eat has become narrower to the point of being ridiculous. Ds1 will eat banana apple carrot raw mange tout, milk, white bread (although I buy white with wholemeal flour in it). He won't touch potato in any form, rice, pasta except completely plain, different breads, cakes, puddings not even yoghurts. Will have shop bought smoothies not mine. Will eat a piece of cheese occasionally. Ds2 follows suit with a few slight differences. He'll eat egg whites. Family meals are impossible and I feel like I've tried everything with them from letting them go hungry to going with the flow. I still shop for ingredients for normal meals but invariably they end up in the dog. He's not fussy.

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williamsmummy · 22/09/2007 17:55

I would simply make a meal plan, make one meal in the evening, give it to them.
Never pander to this sort of thing.( within reason)
place plate in front of children.
dont respond to whines.
praise those that eat, say that YOU are enjoying this meal.

Limit snacks, carry on with this, every day .

Its impossible to make a meal every night that everyone will love.
So stuff it, give them the good stuff, limit the crap. They will grow, they will eventually eat.
You are NOT A CANTEEN service or a qualifed chef, you are a mother, who makes motherlike slop meals that are healthy and worth eating.

Give yourself a break and dont listen to the kids.

good luck

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hattiejacques · 22/09/2007 17:56

Doesn't anyone want to sympathise with me?!!!

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hattiejacques · 22/09/2007 18:01

I've tried that. Ds1 won't even try it and ends up leaving the table with nothing. He doesn't give in and will survive on a banana until the next day. I waste so much food and he constantly asks me why I give him food he hates! i.e something good for him

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Lilliput · 22/09/2007 18:08

Do you eat with them and do you lrt them help you in the kitchen? I found both really helped with my dd.

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Shoshable · 22/09/2007 18:10

Day 1
serve breakfast, what you want them to eat, if they dont eat it take it away but offer nothing else, snack can be fruit, serve lunch again whar you want them to eat, take it away without any debate, apart from saying this is lunch eat it or nothing else.
Dinner the same.

Day 2
Repeat of Day 1

Day 3
Bet they eat some of it.

Just dont make it into arguement or discussion.
They will eat the food you provide, or nothing.

THEY WILL NOT STARVE THEMSELVES, it will not hrt them to go without for a few days, their diet will be healthier after.

Just make sure they drink.

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popsycal · 22/09/2007 18:11

how long have you persisted with the 'eat the meal I cook or nothing' plan/

takes a while...

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bossybritches · 22/09/2007 18:11

Hattie it's a pain issn't it? I always vowed I'd not have fussy kids but they DO develop their own likes & dislikes, it's just how far you let them dictate the rules. I decided I would not make a battle of meal times,but neither would I do seperate meals. Everyone had to eat the same which was a trial but gradualy they learnt they had 2 choices go hungry or eat. Each day I'd try to put in at least one thing everybody liked. Keep the fruit bowl full, don't buy snacks. I was encouraged by an article I read that said kids will very rarely starve themselves & you should look at the diet over a week as a whole nutritionally. ie if they've had a crap diet day because of a party try & re-dress the balance the next few days. Apparently you have to try new stuff 12+ times before they'll eat it.

I know it's soooohard but good luck.

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hattiejacques · 22/09/2007 18:24

Thank you all for your help. Maybe I haven't tried for long enough because they cry at bedtime when they're hungry and I've given them a banana and a yoghurt or milk. I don't make them different meals though. It is pretty much like it or lump it!

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bubbleandsqueak · 22/09/2007 18:58

Sounds familier to me, I have two dc, my first born sounds just like yours. My second born eats anything set infront of him including magret de canard, and lamb tagine. There was a stage where I was also pulling my hair out because she wouldn't eat anything, but have persisted with "eat whats put in front of you or go hungrey" and I have to say it does work eventually but does take time. Family meals together are the best thing to reinforce the ethos that we all eat the same food, now she does eat the majority of food presented with a few exceptions ie magret de canard! So in essence I would persist with giving the same food as everyone else, it will work eventually! Good luck, I know how hard it can be.

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williamsmummy · 23/09/2007 15:32

Perhaps your children have just realised that they can control you over food ? its a bit of a weak spot with parents. Children can spot that a mile off!

Take a step back before you respond to any comment. Tell them that you arent going to get into conversation about likes and dislikes.

and yes i do have sympathy for you as have been there got the t-shirt and been to a dietian for n3 son.