Help DD 2 tomorrow, runs amuck at toddler groups.

[CarrieR]

Hi
My DD who is almost 2, will not join in at toddler groups and will not sit down and just runs around madly. I have tried Mumbabas when she was about 15 months or so but no luck. I have left it a few months and now have tried MaracaJacks. She won't sit with me, won't join the actions or the hand movements and just runs around the room madly. I have tried disciplining her and making her sit down but she will just lie on the floor in a strop. All the other toddlers are so well behaved and I am finding it embarrasing and upsetting. I have tried encouragement etc and I do all the actions and play the instruments with the hope she will join in.
At home she is never still, always on the go, it is hard to read books with her or try to do a puzzle, she will get a book or puzzle out look at one page then throw it across the floor or just run off. She has red hair and like her Dad has no patience at all.

I am not expecting some angel child and know she is probably behaving like a 2 year old, but compared to the other toddlers she is not at all like them. I know each child is different and I should not compare her but I would like to be able to go to the music or toddler groups and just have an enjoyable time with her.

Any help appreciated.
I feel I am really trying hard with her and this is upsetting me.
I am careful with what she eats and don't fill her full of rubbish.

[Niecie]

My DS was like that with Monkey Music. In the end we just stopped going as it was too difficult. I tried ignoring him and although he wasn't disruptive he would just go and stand looking out of the window or start pulling me about to go home!

We tried another venue for a while which helped but he got bored again.

In the end we came to the conclusion he just doesn't like it. He went to playgroup instead as he had reached that age and is fine there but he just doesn't seem to like music that much and he certainly doesn't like sitting still! It is generally a boy thing but not all girls want to sit around playing with dolls - I know I didn't!

Have you tried tumbletots - much better for an active child I think, if you have that or something similar in your area.

When you say toddler groups, do you mean the kind where you go together to meet other children and parents and have a play and a chat. They are much less structured and she can do what she likes within reason. At least you will taking her out and both of you would get to meet people.

[Jaynerae]

My DD was the same at Rythm Time - She was OK until she turned 18 months and then just wondered around the room doing her own thing - I stuck it out until she was 2, then gave up as she decided she was going to try and set the fire extinguisher off every week and I was getting stressed - not enjoying it at all. Took her to play group instead where she could go off and play and do her own thing! Much better! I think she was bored at Rythm Time.

[CarrieR]

Hi Niecie ,
the local toddler group is on during her nap time so we can't go there yet.
We have tried the structured stuff like Mumbabas and Maracjacks but no joy. I was just getting fed up with the disapproving looks from the other Mums there

Perhaps I am trying too hard.
I will investigate tumble tots - sounds like her thing.


DD has been hectic since she was tiny.

[aloha]

Don't take her to those sort of groups. Take her to softplay, a local one o'clock club or to an unstructured baby gym session where her energy and boisterous nature will be an asset. Really, you are just setting yourself up for being upset and feeling angry and self-conscious by going to places and settings that she is temperamentally unsuited for. When she is 2.5 or three she may be much happier at this sort of thing.
You might not be happy at say, a French philosophy discussion group, or a saturday morning netball team, but that wouldn't mean there was anything wrong with YOU. Everyone is different, and that goes just as much for toddlers.

[aloha]

Don't take her to those sort of groups. Take her to softplay, a local one o'clock club or to an unstructured baby gym session where her energy and boisterous nature will be an asset. Really, you are just setting yourself up for being upset and feeling angry and self-conscious by going to places and settings that she is temperamentally unsuited for. When she is 2.5 or three she may be much happier at this sort of thing.
You might not be happy at say, a French philosophy discussion group, or a saturday morning netball team, but that wouldn't mean there was anything wrong with YOU. Everyone is different, and that goes just as much for toddlers.

[Niecie]

CarrieR - The great thing about mother and toddler groups is that they are informal and you can just drop in and out. Even if you can't go for a whole session because of naps it might be worth it. We used to do that. Difficult if they are afternoons though. Perhaps go a bit further afield to find a morning one?

Sorry - shamelessly plugging the groups as I help run one and my DS loves it, even though he is getting a bit big for it now.

How about meeting a group of friends and going to the local soft play area? You could make it a regular thing and it would burn off some of that energy!

[Niecie]

sorry x posted with Aloha and she has thought of the same thing

[CarrieR]

We have been to soft play centres and she has a great time. We try to go on a Thursday as DH sometimes has that day off work. DD wants to go off where the "big kids" go, has no fear of anything and often scares me witless! She loves speeding down the big slide.

[EscapeFrom]

just stop taking her, she's getting nothing out of it, and all you seem to be getting is stress! Take her to a big field instead. Take a football.

The reason all the children there are well behaved is because the parents whose children won't behave at these groups have stopped taking them! They are all at the park instead!

[bagpuss]

Agree with everyone here. This is the primary reason that we have stopped taking ds2 to Tumble Tots. He has never really sat still for the singing bit and I got uncomfortable with him being boistrous and not sharing the equipment. We have a riot at the local soft play though, plus they have nice coffee and cakes for mummies (oh, and internet access, mustn't forget that ).

[TellusMater]

What are these groups? I've genuinely never heard of them.

I help run a toddler group, and a bit of marauding is quite normal, as long as you stop her treading on the babies .

We do singing at the end, but it's not the end of the world if a child doesn't join in.

And you might get to relax and have a chat. Which is, for me, the point of the exercise anyway

[annoyingdevil]

I'd say it's perfectly normal too. My dd's the same and has only just calmed down now she's approaching 2.5. I'd keep going, if I were you, and not worry about it. Surely toddlers running around is what those groups are for?

[Niecie]

TellmeMater - I wouldn't call them toddler groups like you and me are involvoed with. I am not sure what you would call them, activity classes or groups I suppose.

They are talking about things like music groups where the children get the chance to sing and play instruments You can have art groups where the children get the chance to try painting, sticking and gluing. Tumbletots is sort of organised structured physical play where the children have obstacles courses built for them to improve gross motor skills. They are the 3 main areas I have come across.

Definite a big no-no treading on the babies at toddler group - apart from that they are pretty good places to let off steam.