MY 2.yr 2month year old son has shouted at me a lot today

[NAB3]

It is tantrums. He has been cross because I won't let him have all my saucepans every minute he wants them. He has found his voice I guess. I even screamed at me because he wanted something before he had finished his lunch.

He has been having strops since 10 months but today I have really noticed a difference. Earlier, he wouldn't out his shoes on for the school run because he wanted to play with his pans. I told him he would go back in his cot (he had just got up) if he didn't put his shoes on. I can reason with him really well and it does end up with me getting what I want.

[bubblagirl]

all children will test there limits you just need to be firm " if you shout at mummy i wont give you the pans say sorry"

this always works with my son 2.4 he goes in naughty corner and says sorry then we carry on as normal you just need to be a bit firmer so that you do always win but its the age there at

you could distract him when wanting saucepans by doing a puzzle together or playdoh and lots of praise

[NAB3]

Mmmm

[bubblagirl]

glad i could help lol just giving advice as this is a difficult age where they are finding them selves and pushing limits you need to be firm i find distracting my son works and i'll do something with him then i praise him and when he goes to throw tantrum i'll say do you want to do puzzle with mummy he says yes i say ok you have to calm down then and he does and we do puzzle together tantrum forgotten good luck

[NAB3]

Not always practical when you are on your way out.

[law3]

getting shoes on rather than turning into a battle of the wills, i turn it into a game.

I brought a food timer (the kind that rings when time runs out about cost about a pound) i set the timer to say 2 mins and we see if we can beat the timer.

Or

buy some stickers and give a sticker for getting shoes on quickly.

Tantrums i ignore and walk away. Hope this is of some help!!!

[bubblagirl]

i was referring to the playing of saucepans sorry thought id try and give advice

[HonoriaGlossop]

law3 that's my approach too or it was when ds was this age (sometimes still is! He's five now).

I suppose it depends on the child and how strong a character they are, and on how you want to 'be' as a parent; but i personally would go a long long way to avoid confrontation with a toddler, and I found games, challenges etc very effective indeed. Also reverse psychology, betting that No, there's no way you can do this or that....

It doesn't take any more time this way, in fact if it works it's a helluva lot quicker because instead of engaging in a power struggle you are finding that the child actually WANTS to do what you are asking. Of course nothing works every time but it was a great approach for me.

Also agree with ignoring tantrums and screaming. If they get zilch attention for doing it you are at least giving them the right messages.

[law3]

quite right honoria i forgot about the reverse thing that works wonders!!!

I also found telling him what to do as well as not what to do also helped.

Ie playing a game of practising quiet voice, loud voice with him, shouting then whispering.

Then when he shouted, i would say dont shout, speak in a quiet voice (saying in a quiet voice) Giving an alternative works wonders!!