DS 3.10yrs screams for a couple of hours during the night

[Nemo2007]

Really need help with DS. He has never been the best sleeper and only slept through a few times. Now he screams whenever he slightly wakes. Now he normally does this because he needs a wee but will scream for 5 or 10mins before he will move then when he goes back to bed he will scream for a couple of hours. During this time he is half awake so it isnt night terrors.He can do this 2/3 times a night from when he goes to bed until 6am.
We have tried
sitting with him
ignoring him
reward both immediate as in gift next day and long term as in earn it on a star chart
removing toys
rapid return wouldnt work as he doesnt actually get out of bed unless it is to wee

nothing is working and it is now at the point where last night I absolutely hollared at him!! Last night was the first night in ages that both my girls [20m+7m] slept through yet I was still up with DS 3 times.
Dh has tried going in to him but it is no different...so please somebody must have been through similair

posted here and in sleep for some help

[Tamdin]

nemo that sounds very difficult
have no advice sorry as ds is nearly 19m and has only slept through the night once.
what does your ds say if you ask him why he's screaming?

hope someone who's had more experience will be along to help soon

[Nemo2007]

tamdin he says he doesnt know why.

[oneplusone]

Can you look back over the day and see if there might have been anything that happened that could have upset/worried/scared him?

I have sometimes had a similar problem with DD and I have a feeling it only happens when we have had a 'bad' day and I've shouted at her/told her off a lot etc. If we have had a nice day she seems to sleep through peacefully.

Just something to consider, it might not apply to you at all. Good Luck.

[Tamdin]

nemo should have guessed that really, i don't think any 3 year old knows why they do what they do.

if one of you went and slept in with him for a while would that help? or maybe you don't want to start that?

there must be someone on here who knows more about this age group and sleeping or has been through it.hope you get some practical advice soon

[Tamdin]

x posted oneplus

[Nemo2007]

oneplusone it is every night! If it was once or twice a week I could cope but it is every single night particularly worse over last 6wks since playgroup finished.

[Scootergrrrl]

Congrats on the two girls sleeping through!
What about lifting him for a wee when you go to bed?

[funnypeculiar]

ds (3.5) does this a bit - but I have to conceed, nothing like as bad. Like yours, he's never been a great sleeper, and tends to scream quite a bit on waking (he also does it in the mornings - its incredibly unusual for him to wake up in a good mood) - but he probably only wakes once/twice a week now, and now, can be calmed fairly quickly. I'd say he's got markedly better in the last 6 mths.

Does your ds accept any cuddles when he's upset? When ds was at his worst, the most annoying thing was that he wouldn't cuddle either - just shout!

DS certainly has LOTS ofnightmares - which he can now semi-verbalise (he's very, very verbal normally ). We had lots of trouble with a recurring nightmare a bit ago, and he now has a turkish protective eye on his door, which helps calm him down in the night ("nothing can get past your special eye, it stops everything coming in your room")

Have you tried talking to him about it in a calm, daytime moment? He might find it easier to express his fears then?

Assume you've tried nightlight?

[oneplusone]

Gosh every night, not sure about that, although again DD will sometimes do it 1-2 nights in a row and then stop. Sometime we let her come downstairs (altho at the same time terrified of creating a bad habit) and she falls asleep on the sofa really quickly and then we take her up when we go up.

So far it hasn't created a bad habit and again it's not every night. It is very hard to figure out what is going in the mind of young children, especially when they're still half asleep, perhaps you could just try to comfort him as much as you can, maybe lie down next to him and gradually this phase will pass (just try and remember it is a phase and that it will pass to help you get through it!)

[funnypeculiar]

(And congrats on the girls too - dd (17mths) is just about sleeping through...)

[Nemo2007]

Tamadin thanks
dont want to sleep in with him because he is a very 'energetic' sleeper as in he crawls all around the bed. Also he sleeps on a midisleeper so would be a bit of a nightmare.I have tried sitting in the room with him but he doesnt stop crying anyway.

[Nemo2007]

even if I lifted him out to wee I dont think it would make a diffence as it isnt always waking to wee.
He also wont be cuddled but will shout at me more. Last night he asked me to leave his room so he could carry on crying so I said if he was going to do that I would have to shut the door, which of course made him scream ten times louder.
Have tried to speak to him about it in the day and even discuss rewards etc and he seems all for it and says he doesnt know why he wakes up then in the night he will say he doesnt like his room[so we redecorated it with his choice], he doesnt like his bed[which we cant really do anything about] he wants to be in our bed, he is cold/hot/hungry/thirsty. The list is ongoing

[EscapeFrom]

It really sounds like night terrors to me - ds1 would also be semi present for them. You just have to wait them out I am afraid. Try to keep his days regular and calm and avoid him getting over tired

[soapbox]

It definitely sounds like night terrors to me too.

My DD used to suffer a bit and appeared to be awake but was not in any way rational.

We discovered that she got like this when she was desperate for the loo and was obviously semi-waking to use the loo but was so disoriented that she became frightened and then started screaming.

She did have a look about her that made you think she had just seen hell in all its glory

I think bizarrely the more fuss you make of this the less chance you have of stopping it. It goes against the grain, but ignore it, give lots and lots of attention and try your best to make him as secure as can possibly be.

I think there is a great thread somewhere on here by Wickedwaterwitch when her DS was suffering from this which was a very good description of what night terrors are like, ime.

[Nemo2007]

do you think?? I honestly didnt think it would be them..hmmm ok
he may be unsettled as he has left playgroup and will be starting school nursery in sept.