3 and a half year old won't stay in bed or go to sleep - help!

[Licey]

Hi there, I was looking for some advice from someone! I'm going mad as my 3 and a half year old keeps getting out of bed once its bedtime, and periodically gets up in the night, and then will start coming into our room from 5.30, and says that she doesn't want to sleep. She won't tell me why, and generally it is attention seeking. I've tried reason, benefit of the doubt, discipline (punishment), have lost the plot and shouted at her a few times, the silent treatment of no eye contact and putting her back in bed without talking, but don't seem to be getting anywhere! Any tips anyone?
From tired mummy, who is worried about getting through to daughter.

[Kif]

This sounds familiar

Signed:

Mother of 3.5 year old girl

[Kif]

We've had periodic success with a complicated 'pasta jat' type reward system. Tbh - I've been tear my hair out - cos she's so much happier and easier when she sleeps

[americantrish]

ds (3) does that sometimes.
we just put him back in bed, repeatedly. and it is tiring as hell.
does she know about clocks and telling time?
we started showing ds a clock in his room and showing him at 7 'o'clock (pm) its bedtime
and at 7 o'clock (am) its time to get up. (although he usually is up between 6 and 6.30)

if you've not done the clock, maybe its worth a try? or a reward chart of some sort?

[NotReallyHereHunker]

Handcuffs.

[americantrish]

rofl!

[Licey]

Thanks so much for the quick responses, and its good to hear I'm not alone, and love the handcuff idea ;-)

[XcupcakemummyX]

my ds has been doing exactly the same
including stopping round in wellies on a roasting hot night.
I have even let him come into bed with me at times
i hope it is just a phase
i hope it gets better with you soon
and someone is there for you

[americantrish]

someone at my son's nursery also suggested (for us) an alarm clock. but we found a regular clock works ok for now!

[onlytheone]

My 3 year old kept coming downstairs every night for 3 weeks. We kept taking her back up. The way we cracked it was my SIL talking to her and saying how it made me and her daddy sad, cross and tired and that it was a silly thing to do. She then told her that if she could stay in bed at home she could stay with her (aunty) over a weekend. She stayed upstairs and went to sleep around 7.30 pm the following night. I told her how pleased she was and rewarded her with a small toy that weekend. She told everyone how she had come by the toy and we have had no problems since (over 12 weeks ago now)!

[slim22]

check the noise level in their bedroom!

We just moved into new house and appart from the novelty factor, we found out that he was scared by strange noises.
He said, mummy, there is someone in my room when you go.
DS refused point blank to go to bed on his own and when we offered to let him come into our bed (alone) to fall asleep, no more problem.

We sat in his room and realised there was traffic noise. He could not identify the sounds but got scared because he was disturbed by white nnoise just when he was falling asleep.