Independent 21 month old - help!

[amidaiwish]

DD2 is 21 months and has started to become overly independent

• has to pour her own milk on her cereal = major spills and upset
  
• has to put her shoes on herself = 30 mins later i bundle her in the car with no shoes on as can't wait any longer
  
• takes her clothes off and wants to be naked, including her nappy, then gets very upset when she wees on the floor
  
  I think she is copying her big sister (3.5) a lot but am starting to get to the end of my tether. and it's only 7.40am and she's not even 2. any advice?

[berolina]

Two of ds's (2.2) favourite words are 'by self'. I think it's really important to encourage it, so I let him do as much as possible and just deal with minor to medium mess (annoying I know). I suggest that he does things in little steps (less likely to go wrong) and often ask him to do one of these as a way of 'helping' me, which he loves. Can you get a small jug (just holding enough for her cereal) and put milk in it in the evening ready for the morning and say that's her very own special jug for her cereal, so if she does spill some not too much is lost? The shoes are a difficult one. Luckily ds is quite quick to ask for help if he can't manage something. But what I sometimes do it gently guide the shoes on, but imply all the time that he's still doing them himself ('just hold that, push your foot in, oh well DONE!').

Re the weeing, have you introduced her to a potty? You can gently give her the idea that she can wee in there. (We haven't gone near this yet, but will have to soon).

[amidaiwish]

oh yes, she has just started putting "my" infront of things... "my blanket" "my potty" etc.

good idea about the milk jug - i will try that tomorrow.

i do try and help with the shoes but she just gets mad and starts all over again. so in the end it takes even longer if i go near her.

i did introduce the potty yesterday as she saw it and demanded it. the thing is it took 4 months to train DD1 and i really can't face it again! 4 months of clearing up wee... just as DD2 was starting to crawl. it really was a horrendous time.

oh, i sound really negative don't i?

[muppetgirl]

I got a dressing down from my 3.4 ds yesterday in the supermarket as I tried to help him put the cereal in the trolley 'No mummy! That's my job.' 'Yes, but I think you need a bit of help.' 'No, I don't want your help....'
It's such a fine line between wanting to encourage independence - 'doing it themselves' and needing to get jobs done.

It's just so blardy hard though!

[amidaiwish]

she WILL not let me put her nappy on
this is driving me insane
any suggestions????!

(i can hold her down and get it on, but she just tugs at it until she finally gets it off. the easy up pants are worse, she pulls those straight off).

[berolina]

FWIW, it's fabulous that she's so keen to 'do'.

Hmmm, thinking about the wee thing. I wonder if you could steel yourself and go with it for a bit? She sounds, IM uninformed O, pretty 'ready' for potty training. (ds is nowhere near this, although he always comes and says when he's done a poo and I think he would get the idea of a potty quite quickly). You never know, she might get it quicker than your dd1. She will eventually get the connection no nappy = possible wee on floor = not nice.

[berolina]

Play on her independent streak by asking her to put her nappy on by herself???