cry baby during day - HELP!!!

[gr8kids]

my 15week old boy has no problem going down on his own at night. His last feed will be at 8pm and he'll sleep till 6am,lovely!! But its the day times getting me down. He just wants to be shushed to sleep in the arms and then he only sleeps for maybe 20min at a time.Tried putting him down and he wakes. Cant get dressed without him screaming his head off. Cant do housework and he goes crazy. Its my fault for spoiling him all the time by picking him up so much. But as Ive got other children aged 12yrs and 7yrs we all seem to spoil him rotten. Also my hubby in army so I gota do it all on my own, which is so hard when he just wants my undevided attention all the time. What do i do??? PS: am breastfeeding him.

[callmeovercautious]

Hi gr8kids. You haven't spoilt him honestly! You can't spoil such a young baby.
I need more detail - do you feed him on demand or are you trying to stick to a routine? Is the daytime thing recent?
Also have you tried doing the bedtime routine for naps then put him in the cot?

Well done for not BFing to sleep - it was the bain of my life!!!

My DD needed lots of attention in the day until she could sit unaided, then she discovered toys and will play happily while I potter around. Other babies I know would lie under a playgym all day if you let them and not a peep!

[gr8kids]

I do feed him on demand, routine didn't work for my hungary boy. Daytime thing only feels recent to me because ive realised its time to get things done in the house, cant let it go on this way. Haven't tried doing bedtime routine for daytime naps yet. Worried that would confuse him,and mess up his routine for night??? Thanx, but the sleep routine is about the only thing i seem to have got right with him. My boy could never just lay in baby gym and be ok, about 10min is max he will do in any 1 activity. He gets bored really quickly.

[Llewsmum]

Aaarrrgghhhh - am having exactly the same problem with 15 wk old DS1 - is driving me spare - just wants fun and laughs all the time which is lovely, but if the fun stops for me to try and get something done he turns into a screaming mentaloid......

Also very good at night & also being breastfed on demand

Would also welcome any suggestions

[mistypeaks]

Mine was the same at that age. I feel for you - just awful. In the end we bought a vibrating bouncy chair with a removable toy bar. The difference in her. Awake she played for ages, and fell asleep in it constantly. Worth its weight in gold.

[Llewsmum]

Was considering vibrating chair purchase but thought he might grow out of it soon - may invest immediately if they're that effective

[Flibbertyjibbet]

I do feel for you, my ds2 was the same last summer. He is now the most happy placid smiley boy so screaming all day when tiny is not an indication of demanding personality!

Just to make you feel better, it was that scorching July, I had the windows open all day, and ds1 demanding lots of attention as well (16m age gap).
One Saturday dp went out to bring the bin up the lane and was stopped by very nosey neighbour who thought it her duty to tell him that while he was at work during the week, I left the baby to cry all the time

[Llewsmum]

Luckily we have no close neighbours so nobody can complain about my neglectful mothering.....have considered sedation although am not sure whether to sedate me or him.....

[gr8kids]

Thanx everyone for your thoughts. Ive tried the swing but its gota be a good moment for him to appreciate it for 10min. Will try the chair and hope it works for me. Sedation??? Crossed my mind many times but glad to say haven't gone that far (yet) lol!!! Hope things work out for you Llewsmum. I live on estate so houses on top of each other. Have had bad looks already from neighbours who have heard him screaming.

[callmeovercautious]

Sounds like you may have to sit it out It does improve with time, DD watched me iron for a whole hour this week (in between playing with toys).
When she was small I would move the bouncy chair around the house with me so she could see me and that bought me a few minutes here and there.
(and don't tell anyone but when she got a bit older babytv on SKY got me a few minutes for a cup of tea every now and then )

[ladymac]

Goody, thought I was the only mum who put baby tv on!

[ladymac]

It must be the age - dd3 is 15 weeks, and like your ds sleeps well at night. She does seem to need a lot of attention during day. But isn't that always the case? I think it's that in-between age. They're not old enough to be interested in playing with toys for periods of time but are too old to want lots of naps.

Persevere with laying him down for a sleep though. I tried 3 times today with dd3 and it was 3rd time lucky.

[gr8kids]

Ill do my best to perservere, it pays in the end. If its not one thing its another!! My hubby not coming home this weekend and im alone with the kids which would normally be great but i think ive got mystitus(on top of him teething BADLY). My right breast was very sore yesterday so i got him to drink from it mostly in the hope it would clear but, nope i feel awful!!! Ive got a fever and my whole body aches. His asleep for night now so gona take paracetomal and get into bed

[daisybo]

take ibuprofen instead, much better for mastitis than paracetamol. keep feeding from it and try warm flannels, showers, baths etc.
hope it clears up soon, and for what it's worth my dd is just the same. if i'm not carrying her around, she is screaming!

[gr8kids]

Thanx, I thought i'd do one last check at messages before i got into bed. I do that straight away. Hopefully tomorrow i'll feel human again

[Llewsmum]

Hope you're feeling better soon gr8 - on the bright side we'll both have very toned arms from lugging ds's around all day.....

[gr8kids]

Im feeling bit better today, not so sore but very tired. Was up most of night with screaming DS. Howcome my DDs teethed with no problems but my DS is having such a rough time. As for the toned arms, thats great wish I could do the same to my thighs....that would be quite wierd tho lol!!!!

[daisybo]

i have a ds and a dd and i have to say my ds was twice as much work as a baby than my dd is. probably a bit of a generalisation but i do know a lot of people who have found their baby sons much more demanding than their daughters!

[blueshoes]

Have you tried to get a sling? He may not stay in it for a long time (mine did not like for more than 30 mins) but it frees your hands to do a bit of housework - I can put away laundry, water plants with ds in there.

Some women can even bf their babies in there! I never made that work though.

Once you have shushed ds to sleep, can you slowly lower him into a buggy and if he starts to stir, rock and push him around until he goes back to sleep. I found that if I put my ds in a buggy after I had nursed him to sleep or whichever method you use, I could get him to sleep longer. Basically babies go through cycles of shallow and deep sleep about right. If your ds is coming out of deep sleep (20 mins sounds about right), he might wake during the shallow section. So if your ds is in the buggy, you can rock him when you hear him stirring to get him through that shallow section into the next deep cycle (maybe 10 mins). This way, I could get 2-3 hours of nap if necessary. Even if you had to rock him to keep him asleep, there are things you can do one-handed, like read the papers/mail, a bit of cleaning, writing lists, planning menus etc

Check out the mechanical swing as well. It worked for my dd for a while, but not as successful with ds.

And I echo what others say about it getting better once your ds gets older. With every milestone, like sitting up, crawling, walking, your ds will get better at amusing himself.

Hey, I've got 2 babies like this (dd is now 3.10, though ds is only 10 months), so I know what I am talking about.

Don't worry about bf-ing being the cause. It is not. Some babies are just like that. That is why you did not get it with your 12 and 7 year old. You know, gr8kids, chances are, your ds is going to turn into a sociable, lively and very engaging little fella. His personality will start to shine through more and more. Looking at my dd now, I can see why she was the way she was as a baby.

You are one lucky mother! This phase will pass.

[gr8kids]

Oh yeah iv tried the sling, his ok for about 30min. I suppose im expecting too much from him. He is after all only little and its not as if i have to go to work. I love all 3 of my angels, would be lost without them. And silly thing is but, we'd like 1 last baby. Maybe if i could fall pregnant end of next year that be good. But how do you cope with your dd and your ds? Does she get jealous? Do you feel its too much? I cant wait another 6yrs, im getting on now and need to get it over with. Worried that ds will feel left out???

[blueshoes]

gr8kids, I planned dd and ds to be at least 2.5 years apart - for dh and my sanity. So I think your proposed timing is good. In the end, dd is almost exactly 3 years older than ds, which is a great age gap. I might have made 2.5 years but I miscarried. And I think for dd, that extra 6 months made all the difference in her maturity.

Each child is different. And you know in your heart when you and dh feel ready to add another child to your family and when your ds can accept a new sibling.

Dd adores her baby brother and can't stop talking about him to her friends in nursery. How do I cope? By putting her in nursery as much as I can! By the time your ds is 3, I think the SureStart grant kicks in and you get a few free sessions of nursery every week.

You know, you are not spoiling your ds by picking him up. You are meeting his emotional needs. And I believe, if you do it when they are little, you give them lots of emotional resilience, which you will see evidence of more and more after they turn 1.

I ask a lot of my dd and ds because I have to put both in fulltime nursery at around 1 year of age because I WOTH. But despite their clingliness at home, they both thrived in the hustle and bustle of nursery. They were just different children there - far more independent and just got on with it. At home, they were still very much mummy's children - but that is their secure base to explore the world. You are doing the right thing!

[gr8kids]

Thanx blueshoes, you make me feel ok with wanting to do it that way. Your children are very lucky to have you!!

[MrsKat]

Hi Mistypeaks. You said you bought your child a vibrating bouncy chair? Which one was it and how long before they grew out of it? My little boy is 14 weeks, and while he has a takealong swing, I would prefer a bouncy chair for him - being more portable.

[MaeBee]

just to add to the posts, you can't spoil a 3 month old baby, some just need LOTS of cuddles. mine did, and he's a bloody brilliant confident 10 mth old (who still needs lots of cuddles admittedly! but is walking and exploring everything so he must be very confident too)
have you got a local toy library? sometimes they do bouncy chairs. we borrowed one off a friend to try a couple of times, and we did end up getting one but im afraid he only would do 10 minutes in it too. he prefered sitting up on his own once he mastered that.
mostly he just grew out of it when he got mobile. he started crawling properly at 6 months and then i guess felt much more in control, so was happier to be put down. also he still hates being on his back (won't sleep on his back or anything), so your baby might improve once can sit up on own.
btw still don't get anything done!