2 and 5 year olds driving me insane!

[nimnom]

My sons are nearly five and nearly two.
My two year old is being a typical toddler - into everything, whining, tantrums, the usual. My 5 year old doesn't listen to me, screams & shouts to get his own way (which he doesn't) and generally makes everyone's life difficult. My 5 year old was excellent as a toddler (no screaming etc.) he seems to have saved it until now. I also think they are both after attention which I try to give them in equal quantities. Any ideas or reassurance to stop me thinking I'm the worst and shoutiest Mum in the world!

[mare]

You can't be the shoutiest Mum in the world because that's ME!!! My boys are just 4 (yesterday) and just 2. Do you find it is all worse when YOU are tired! I know I do. I am (and they are) fine on mondays to wednesdays. Thursdays I'm a bit ratty and they are whingey and ignore what I ask them to do 500 times, 'come and do your teeth,...come here and do your teeth..PLEASE come and do your teeth ..ad infinitum'( big one really here, little one not yet old enough to understand) and by Friday we are all in a foul mood and I wish a Fairy Godmother would whisk me off to 'prekids' era!!

[nimnom]

You've got it exactly. And this week has been especially bad because I'm doing an OU degree and had an assignment due - maybe that's why it all feels worse at the moment!
Helps to know I'm not the only one!!

[bobsyouruncle]

Mine are nearly 3 and nearly 5 and I am a contender for the worst and shoutiest mum nimnom, I'm also doing an OU course and have an assignment due, all helps to add to the stress doesn't it?! I'm just SO grumpy - DH is scared of me at the mo!?

[LowFatMilkshake]

Another contender for a shouty mum here.

DD is 3, nearly 4 and I am always going on at her to be more responsible - but she's 3 only . I was never like it before her brother came along, but life is so hectic now - I just can't help myself. She's not even mega naughty (most of the time) just annoying which when added to the demands of DS drives me to the brink

Most days I have a cuddle with her and apologise. But it would be even beter if I could just stop myself.

DS is 6 months and she must think he's getting all the smiles and she getting all the grumps. Am so scared of turning her against him through my awful behaviour.

I have tunred in to one of those fishwife mums I found so abhorent before I got like it myself

{{{{{{{{hugs all round}}}}}}}

[nimnom]

bobsyouruncle - don't get me started on DH - he's still recovering from manflu and a stag weekend from two weeks ago and is booked in for the snip tomorrow so he's behaving just like the 2 year old!!

[HonoriaGlossop]

nim, here's some reassurance from me that of course you're not the worst mum! Having two, and at those ages, is something that just isn't cope-able with on some days. It's just going to be like that. And hats off to you for studying on top of all that; that's not at all easy.

I think you just need to tell yourself that you're doing all you can. If you make sure you get down right at eye level with your older ds and get eye contact when you want him to hear you, that might help with the not listening thing. It's easy to ignore mum when she's calling something out but isn't in your face! And keep on ignoring whining and tantrums - that's really all you can do. Ride it out and don't let it drive you mad.

I don't want to teach my grandmother etc here, but my almost five year old has recently become the MOST competitive individual - he has responded well to challenges for a while, eg, bet you can't get your clothes on before me etc, but now he is ultra competitive so it's very easy to challenge him to do things rather than ask or tell in a more 'parental' tone. Keep it light hearted as far as you can - throws 'em off their guard, when they're expecting a parental tone to which they can become stubbornly oppositional.

Big respect to you from me for coping at all!

[bozzy]

nimnom, I have a 2 yr old daughter and an almost 4 year old son - feel exactly the same!!!! when they are both at home for the day it drives me nuts sometimes! they are fine once they are out and about..

[nimnom]

honoriaglossop
thanks for your tips- I've started trying the competition thing over the last week or so and that seems to work. We'll see how long it lasts! Thanks for your nice words. I'll feel better already because everyone is so kind!

[clairvoyant]

Hi,nimnom,
Was just about to post a similar thread! My ds is almost 2 and my dd approaching 5. Today just witnessed dd having worst ever tantrum and had to leave friend's house feeling mortified. When I got home and rationalised it I now feel that dd is copying ds's tantrums to get affection. After all, he throw's a wobbly and then I cuddle him cos he's not v chatty and fruustrated by this. Anyone else in smae boat? Got ideas on what to do......