9 month old too boisterous for other babies

[MaeBee]

hi.
my 9 month old is really active and boisterous and also fairly hefty, and very much enjoys baby groups. the problem is he often clambours on other babies, or pulls their hair while standing up, or pokes their eyes etc. its not done with the slightest bit of hostility but usually utter joy, and then confusion and disappointment when i pull him away.
some of the babies are fine with this, and obviously i stop him doing this to the littler ones, but what to do? i dont want to stop him interacting with the other children, but i really dont want him to get a reputation for being a bully. some of the other parents think im being overworried and are fine for him to blunder on, but today i got told off when he took a dummy out of an older childs mouth and put it in his own. (is that really that bad?!?)
am trying to teach him "gentle", and demonstrating at the same time. any other tips for this age? is it asking too much to expect him to interact gently or am i a terrible parent for letting him be boisterous??

[Hulababy]

At 9 months old I don't think there is anything you can do. He is just being curious and trying to interact in the only way he knows how. He sounds like a lovely, adventuerous little boy! Other than pulling him away if he actually hurts or upsets another baby, or looks like he may hurt them, I can't see what else is possible.

[mslucy]

he sounds just like my ds.

a little cracker.

No one ever minds a boisterous, lively child; no one likes a child who is vicious.

There is a massive difference

Also, no one minds a boisterous child if they're with a parent who obviously is aware of other kids' feelings.

I'm sure everyone can see you're a good mum who's aware of how their child is perceived by others.

I also think babies of this age can get a bit frustrated and often chill out once they start walking.

My ds started walking at 14 months and you could tell he really wanted to for quite a long time before.

Often big babies walk a bit later, just because they've got more to lift off the ground!

[WigWamBam]

A bully? At nine months old?

A baby of that age can't even be described as naughty, let alone a bully. And anyone who expects a baby to work out that taking someone else's dummy might cause upset is being too ridiculous for words.

Of course you should remove him if he's hurting another child, but otherwise you can't expect him to react in a gentle or considerate way - babies don't have any empathy so can't comprehend that they are hurting someone.

Some of the mothers need to revise their own expectations.

[grouchyoscar]

Also sounds like my DS, He was a big boisterous baby with complete glee in anything he could do.

I was a worried parent (still am) that he didn't just lie/sit there as good as gold like the other kids.

And he's now a big, healthy almost 4 year old who is still inquisitive and wants to explore new sensations (just wish he would try to read now!)

I agree with Ms Lucy, so long as he isn't malicious or vindictive in his actions there is nothing to worry about

He sounds lovely BTW

[MaeBee]

thanks so much for the support everyone! its good to know he's not the only baby like this....so many of the others just sit and play, and he wont stop for a second. he's never liked sitting in his buggy for ages either.
mslucy : he's taken his first steps already, and im hopeful he'll learn to walk properly soon, he's been cruising for ages and every day he does one or two unaided steps before falling down. i think he might chill a bit more when he's on his feet properly. he certainly got better when he learnt to crawl.
thanks again.xx

[teafortwoandtwofortea]

Mae - I completely agree with the other posters - chill out!

Sounds like you've got your hands full though, my 9 month old is just one that sits and plays.

(there is a sep '06 post natal thread if you ever want to chat or want reassurance about developmental stages/behaviour etc - feel free to join us!)

[ruth2007]

MaeBee - Don't let that one incident worry you. As the others have said they do not understand what they are doing. DD has been hurt by others and she has hurt them but all in play and most of the Mums keep an eye out. DDs gang are the same sort of age as your lo and only one baby really gets ott. Unfortunately it is his Mum who ignores him!!!! We all just keep an eye on him too. Typically she is the first to pull him away if another baby even strokes his hair

As long as they are learning to socialise and get used to group situations that is the main thing.

[UniSarah]

round about that age I had to "find" the right groups to be taking boy to, some things he was just too active for ( baby yoga , tresure baskets, bumps and babes) but others he was fine with ( mums and tots, ryhme time,)things where he wasn't the MOST active or biggest etc. In the right group he was fine and enjoyed "playing with" or rather next to the other kids.
Don;t worry overly about the dummy thing, some peopel feel strongly about them not being shared around, but our kids dont; seem to care.