"Alpha mums turn parenting into a serious issue and motherhood into martyrdom, and the result is nobody has any fun"

(113 Posts)
Twiglett Sun 17-Jun-07 18:16:42

article in sunday papers says Alpha Mum might have had her day

and that Beta Mums are raising confident happy children

well hurrah

littlelapin Sun 17-Jun-07 18:17:19

Linky link, please Twiggy.

cornsilk Sun 17-Jun-07 18:17:35

Hope I'm a beta mum then!

link?

moondog Sun 17-Jun-07 18:17:49

But do you believe anything of that ilk written in Sunday papers?? Really??
(Bet twas Sunday Times)

motherinferior Sun 17-Jun-07 18:19:12

I am an Omega Mum.

CuttingCod Sun 17-Jun-07 18:19:33

oih SHIT

<dons beta mum guise>

i FARKING [layed tenensi today wiht ds2
i cannto play tennis
i put gear on and pranced
i DESERVE MY RIGHT TO BE ALPHA MUM

what the hell is an alpha mum?

CuttingCod Sun 17-Jun-07 18:23:54

me

CuttingCod Sun 17-Jun-07 18:25:28

**************ALPHA******************


Held up as an aspirational role model for the rest of us, she never has a hair out of place and can be spotted tapping urgently into her Blackberry on the school run.

This sort of woman treats parenthood as a project to be managed down to the last second.

Fiercely organised, she's likely to be highpowered and well-educated. Aren't you feeling inferior already?

But there's more to an Alpha mum than that.

She treats her home life as an extension of her corporate one: family time is merely another slot in the bulging diary.

Her children are seamlessly ferried between extra curricular activities with little to no time to spare for relaxation or, God forbid, just thinking.

Doing nothing is not an option for these youngsters.

lulumama Sun 17-Jun-07 18:25:34

what is a beta mum?


<am certainly theta, or delta, possibly gamma....feck knows, didn;t do ancient greek..>>

CuttingCod Sun 17-Jun-07 18:26:29

"Alpha mums are so determined to make a project out of everything, they are not considering or loving the child, who becomes an object of status or self-glorification for the mother," says Brenda Shoshanna, an author of books on family stress.

Ah yes, the child as a pride-inducing social accessory.

A kind of toddling Tamagotchi to be taken out every so often, tampered with and packed off somewhere else.

We've all heard these women boasting about their babies' achievements.

Whenever I meet a professional working mother who begins our chat with "Michael's speaking some Spanish, he's only 18 months", I want to scream 'So what!' quickly followed by 'The poor thing".

Down the years, I've worked as a pre- school assistant, clown and drama teacher, and I have yet to meet the child who, when asked what makes them happy, says: "Being busy all the time with a variety of learning experiences."



Alpha mothers put greater emphasis on a child's perceived success, while Beta mums value their child's happiness.

For Alpha parents, staying ahead of the pack educationally is an obsession - and one I believe is truly hateful because of the pressure it puts young children under. It's also likely to be counterproductive.

CuttingCod Sun 17-Jun-07 18:27:16

we are all alpha mums deep donw
we lal try not to be but we are.

How cna oyu not want your kid to do well ooooooooooooooooooooooh you lot " i dont care if ds is a bin man or not"

yeah right

Aloha Sun 17-Jun-07 18:28:21

I think there are about about five Alpha Mums in the whole of England. And I've not met any of them.

littlelapin Sun 17-Jun-07 18:28:22

"Beta" generally implies an initial test version of the new upgraded model... better in the long run but a bit dodgy at first... yep, that's me!

CuttingCod Sun 17-Jun-07 18:29:12

er hellooooooooooooooooooo ALOHA

<cough>
think oyu might haev et one
the tennis one..
<cough>

twinsetandpearls Sun 17-Jun-07 18:29:47

People tend to think of me as an alpha mum but I am fartoo lazy in all honesty.

We all probably alpha mum moments.

littlelapin Sun 17-Jun-07 18:29:51

Oh and Beta mums can do links

motherinferior Sun 17-Jun-07 18:30:03

'Aren't you feeling inferior already?'

PMSL.

Join me in being Omega and proud. We are full of essential oils, sleek and well-nourished.

CuttingCod Sun 17-Jun-07 18:30:20

oh god i SO want to eb and if i am nto i am going to be like TRE off the aprentice and telly oua ll ai AM

Aloha Sun 17-Jun-07 18:30:38

<puzzled emoticon>

You, madame fish?
Um, only know of one MNetter with a tennis court and she is v slack with costumes for book day.

I think I'll go straight down to join MI's omeganess. Thhough I used to fancy the psi sign.

Aloha Sun 17-Jun-07 18:31:31

Do you send your kids to mandarin and Kumon?

Twiglett Sun 17-Jun-07 18:31:31

Can't find it .. its in times mag

How to spot a Beta Mum
- you can tell what her children had for breakfast by looking at her jeans
- SHe has been known to wear pyjamas on the school run
- She forgets children's birthday parties
- She gets drunk at PTA parties
- You can't see the floor of her car for old sweet wrappers, assorted papers and general detritus
- She tries to remember what sex wasl like with her husband
- Her house is in a state of perpetual clutter
- She has rotten fruit and bribery sweets in ehr handbag
- She runs out of petrol on the school run

Mercy Sun 17-Jun-07 18:32:01

Cod, you are not an Alpha mum going by what you have quoted and what I've seen you post re your boys

Your boys' happiness does come first (even if you don't want them to become bin men) It's not the same thing - but you know that already!

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